My Life, abreviated

A clean sweep!

2010-08-12T12:25:00.003Z

That's it; they've all objected with virtually the same letter.

I am now the subject of an 'Action Group'. Ahh the suburban home counties.....

Now I must rush off to tend my hanging baskets

And the saga continues

2010-08-10T08:41:00.002Z

Of the 6 houses in our cul-de-sac 4 have now objected vitriolically to our planning application.

Suspiciously, with the exception of the unintelligent rant of 'fag-ash Lil' across the road they all seem to be virtually the same letter.

I think I can smell a conspiracy!

Positivity

2010-08-09T10:46:00.002Z

To those of you have have read my blog since it's inception will know that I am prone to more than my fair share of negativity.

In this, my 39th year on this planet I have realised it doesn't bloody well get me anywhere and so A little more positivity is in order before I turn 40 and turn in to a grumpy old man.

'I don't believe it....'

How to piss of all your neighbours at once....

2010-08-06T13:42:00.003Z

I've submitted a planning application and created my own personal shit storm in the quiet little cul-de-sac were Wifey, me and The Boy and The Girl live with our two scraggy moggies.

Remember the Kolb grief cycle? No one likes change!

All work and no play

2010-08-05T14:50:00.002Z

Many moons ago now I used to have a good job. I had literally dozens of subordinates ready to to my bidding, admittedly there was always a group who moaned like hell and needed a good kick up the backside, but invariably they did what I told them to do.

Now I work for Wifey.

That's right for getting on for 2 years I have been my wife's PA. It's a hell of a culture shock I can tell you and there have been ups and downs.

The bid downs side is you are always at work. Pillow talk now can be a list of jobs to do tomorrow; sometimes it's the best time to talk. It can sure be a passion killer!

And two years went by

2010-07-30T13:04:00.002Z

I last posted in October 2008. Back then we were just heading in to reccession and the writing was on the wall for my job. I predicted well and was made redundant in January 2009. This was acuatlly fortunate timeing as I was goiing to hand in my resignation anyway.

Wifey's business was getting bigger and she needed help; she also managed to get herself pregnant....

The girl was born on 11 August 2009 and life's just been a whirlwind since. Oh, and she's just the most beautiful little thing. Platinum blond hair, big, big blue eyes, the colour of sky and always smiling and giggling. I can see I'm going to have serious troubles with her when the boys start to notice her.

The business has grown and there are now 5 of us.

I really do need to make some me time for a quick blog now and again.

Oh, and is anyone still out there?

Crisis; What Crisis?

2008-10-13T16:00:00.003Z

I never thought that the current economic climate would affect Social Housing - I was wrong. Things getting tough all over the sector but I'm still hanging in here.

Lots has happened since I last posted but I just really haven't had the time to blog, far to busy with a job, a two year old and Wifey's business, which fortunately is going from strength to strength.

I'm tired

2008-07-03T18:34:00.002Z

I normally get up at 06:45. The last two days running I have been up at 05:30.

Yesterday I was up early to go and look at a site; this morning it was the baby (when do I stop calling him a baby?) who woke early crying, which is very unusual and then a trip the our head office down in Dorset.

It'll be a long day tomorrow as I'm down to Chandlers Ford and then straight back to Gatwick.

Oh what a day

2008-06-30T16:03:00.002Z

It's time to go home (so I can now use the interweb).

A day of confussion; things went great, then crap, then great, then crap again.

I really need to be my own boss!

Go to go any collect my boy so, if he's in a good mood (which he usually is), the day will be great again.

Alloy wheels

2008-06-26T11:53:00.002Z

I love alloy wheels on a car, however, Wifey is not having much luck with them at the moment.

1 buckled beyond repair, one scuffed badly in Brighton and now one potential knackered after a trip to Shere.

I'm selling the car as it seems to be a little jinxed.

Anyone want to buy a Volvo estate with a curse?

Don't all rush at once........

Hello Again

2008-06-25T19:58:00.002Z

I've no idea if anyone still checks this meagre blog, but I've here and alive.

I've actually been working, and living, a lot. They baby is now a joy and the apple of my eye. Proud dad moments are almost daily at the moment.

Wifey's business is really taking off. The company now earns more each month than it did during it's first year. The hours can be long but rewarding. I'm very proud of what she has achieved.

My job is actually keeping me busy. Our Internet protocol is very strict and so I can't just dip in and out of the net to get my daily fix of my must read blogs.

The organisation is not as dynamic as I originally thought, but it's a very stable job and my work life balance is great, I'm home by 6pm even after picking my son up from nursery. This then gives me more time to work for Wifey.

Blog 101

2008-04-07T18:24:00.002Z

I'm too bogged down with everything at the moment.

Thing of note today - apart from a trip to Basingstoke, is that I became an uncle.

Baby boy, born at 10:10 am after a long and difficult labour.

Well done Sister in Law!

A Century

2008-02-26T20:56:00.002Z

This is my 100th post - I didn't think I'd get this far, so I'm quite proud of myself, especially for a blogger who has no aspirations to be a writer.....

I'm off to London tomorrow to the EcoBuild exhibition, which will be a nice day out of the office. Working as I do in social housing it's a subject that has been brought to the fore by government funding rules. There are some very strict codes that we must adhere to in order to get cash out of the treasury. I do, in principle, agree with the vast majority of these codes, it's just a shame they're not applied so strictly to the private sector.

Anyway, by tomorrow night I should have a couple of bags full of interesting literature in new eco goodies....

Saturday was a quite one, some associates of Wifey opened a new shop so we went to the grand opening, followed by a brief visit to our local town of Horsham.

Sunday was good; we went to Worthing. The vast piles of timber are still there and most of the beech (if you can call pebbles a beech). Walking along the sea front there was only the smell of freshly sawn timber. We sent lunch with my outlaws in a great restaurant called Claudes. It's a creperie and if you ever go to Worthing, go there for lunch. We spent a happy two hours chatting together and lots of grand parent cooing over the baby.

We spent some time looking around the shops for a new baby seat as Pickle is growing out of the one we use in his grand parents car. The seat only gets used for about 20 minutes each week so spending £100 on a new seat was money we didn't really want to part with.

Money I didn't mind parting with was for some clothes I bough for Wifey. She wasn;t even in the shop, I just picked them of the rack, paid and left. I'm glad to say they all fitted her perfectly and she liked the style. It's the privilege of a long term relationship.

I also didn't mind spending money on her in The Body Shop - especially since another massage moment ensued.

Anyway, Wifey is calling for her laptop back...

Spaced Out

2008-02-22T13:12:00.002Z

Wednesday afternoon, all of yesterday and now today I've been spaced out. My brain is in there but it does not seem to be accessible by my faculties..... Not so hot when you need your brain power at a decent level to comprehend the vagaries of the new organisation.

I've also noticed that recently my posts have been somewhat banal, but I guess that's just how the time has taken me - I've been busy both at work and at home with Wifey's business and I have much less time to ponder such things at work as I had done previously. My blogging now is usually done on a laptop in front of the TV while Wifey is doing the tea and as such restricted a little by guilt. (Although I do loads of other stuff around the house).

Today I am blogging during my lunch hour. There is loads of stuff I could, and indeed should, be doing but I wanted some time out.

I enjoyed last night. I'd had a relatively long day; I dealt with the baby, dropped him at Granny and Grandad's, drove to a meeting, sat though that and straight on to another, talked to my manager, made a mad dash back to my office, dealt with an urgent matter before the last post and then drove back to collect the baby. 11 hours and 170 miles later I was somewhat tired. Never the less I got home 5 minutes before Wifey who'd been at an exhibition all day. I let her give the baby his evening bottle (A nice time), change him and put him to bed.

I, on the other hand, emptied her car of the exhibition stuff, had a shower and made the living room ready. When she arrived back downstairs I stripped her naked, laid her down on a duvet, the lighting was low and Jack Johnson was on the iDock. I then proceeded to massager her for 1/2 and hour, amd then tucked her up on a sofa under the duvet. I then prepared tea. I actually took great pleasure in taking care of her. It's times like that that are important to a couple; It reminded my that time spent with her is one of my greatest pleasures*

*most of the time ;-)

I'm Lost

2008-02-20T13:21:00.002Z

So, the new laptop is up and running on the network as is the new printer. Wifey and I were trying to use the new laptop for proper work stuff, not just web browsing. So the new machine has Windows Vista Business and Office 2007.......I remember when I changed from Windows 3.11 to XP and last night the memories of being totally out of my depth came flooding back.

I'm sure I will get used to the new software, and I've seen some great new gadgets to play with, but at the moment I'm like a fish out of water with it.

Oh, and it's Wednesday already, the days are just wizzing past since I started the new job.

Now, on to something about Wifey; we are going on holiday in two weeks time to Portugal with some friends and last night came the desperate cry that people up and down the land will be uttering in the next few months...."I've lost my beech body!". So Wifey is now on a mission to loose 1/2 stone in two weeks so that she can walk down the beech in her bikini and turn some heads.

When ever she's walking down a beech in a bikini, she always makes my head turn :-)

And the Week Flies By

2008-02-18T20:30:00.002Z

I last posted 6 days ago and the week just seems have flown by. I'm much busier at work and, for the most part it's great. It's not all roses in the garden but then no job ever is - even Wifey has bad days and she's the big boss.

The baby is starting to walk a whole lot more and a couple of nights last week he was an absolute joy and made me glad I am a father. There is a new nurse at his daycare nusery where he goes every Tuesday and Wednesday; she, like all the other nurses, has fallen in love with him and thinks he's the most handsome baby she's every met and smiles more than any baby she knows. He's a luck boy my son, he just smiles and people melt in waves; no that's a quality I'd love to have.

The weekend was full of up's and downs but I did manage to wash my car and I'd not washed it for five months, which is about 10,000 miles without a wash. I started with a bucket of acid! Now my little Polo is not big or flash and it's coming up for threee years old (which is very old for me) and yet I felt like a king driving to work today :-)

I may have mentioned that last week we had a new laptop delivered, yet on Tuesday our colour printer gave up the ghost (I'm deeply unimpressed that a peice of kit less than three years old is beyond econimical repair). So a new printer was ordered (another wad of cash going out of the door...) so today my brither in law has come to link up the new laptop to the network, set up our wireless VPN (Virtual Private Network) and to install the new printer on to the server.

Now, cast your mind back to last year when I posted about my IT skills - It could be a long night!

And the week goes on

2008-02-12T20:39:00.000Z

I was very tired by the time I arrived home on Friday, although I was home by 4pm. The weekend was relaxing; Saturday was spent in Horsham for lunch, Crawley in the afternoon followed by a visit to Wifey's grandparents.

I went for lunch in the coffee shop of the cook shop where the knif incident happened last week. I talked to the manager and he was very accomodating in sitting over a coffee and discussing what happend, what has been done since the incident and also about the general risk assessment and health and safety issues in the shop. I feel he was wise to be accomodating as if he'd been obtuse I would have talked to the HSE. The knife had been left on the sales counter after it being shown to a customer, then a small rush ensued and the knife was not placed back in the cabinet. The cheaper knives are all kept padlocked and cabled tied in their plastice cases and can't be accidentally pulled out by either children or thieves.

The manager was not aware the child and his mother had been left alone and promised to look in to the matter, but in fairness a mistake was made, compunded by the mother and the assistant who originally helped did not know what to do - they are in the process of holding training briefings about safety and what to do should an accident happen.

Anyway, in Crawley we chose a new suite for our downstairs cloakroom - I just need to make sure everything fits and works with our current layout, I then need to pursude Wifey to pay up for it all.

Sunday was in Brighton with some friends at a sushi bar that we like and that are child friendly. We missed Wendz and Martin, but I'm sure we bump in to them one day....

Yesterday I was our Bournemouth office, and overnight stay st a hotel in Canford Cliffs (which was really rather nice) and then a day training on an office in Poole. A good couple of days but I seem to have picked up on the internal politics. I know they exist in every work place, but I do hate them...

Anyway, Wifey wants my laptop, despite now having 3 laptops a desktop and a server to choose from!

Tired

2008-02-07T20:24:00.000Z

After my month off work it has been a rude awakening having to go to work this week - It's been a funny old week; moments of franetic activity, lots of being nice to people and some, just sitting and trying to find something to occupy my time.

First weeks are funny like that.

So, this week I was on the road at 7 on Monday, 6 on wednesday and it'll be 6 again tomorrow, which meeans a 5:15 wake up. It took me two hours to get home tonight as the M23 was shut at Gatwick. I work very near the airfield and as such I got snarled up in the jams of the diverted traffic. Two hours to drive 16 miles :-(

I was hoping for an early finish tomorrow but my boss called me. So, you're getting your laptop tomorrow morning, what are you doing in the afternoon as I have a meeting I'd like you to sit in on". One didn't feel it was appropriate to respond "well after the early starts and the odd late finish this week I was hoping for a POETS* day". I know I'll have to put the hours in, but there is always the next rung on the ladder to reach for and that rung is a senior management post. The next job up the ladder carries all the right perks; at that pay grade I can choose all the desirable cars** (no mondeo's and vectra's....). Company credit card and 4* hotels are within my grasp, but more importantly I'll be in a position where I can really exercise my skills and make a difference.

I do also realise that the next rung has it's downsides, but I guess the positives give me something to work towards.

*Piss Off Early, Tomorrow's Saturday
** I don't do company cars, I drive my little polo and laugh all the way to the bank on car allowance :-)

In the Post

2008-02-06T19:14:00.001Z

I've now been In Post for 4 days. I still haven't got my bloody laptop - IT training is on Friday in Bournemouth and then's when I get my PC; I've been told not to expect anything cutting edge....

My boss is new in post (it was his job I originally went for). He was an internal candidate but does not have experience of Development and as such he is not going to be my line manager until he is more up to speed with his job. I like my new boss and we've both identified lots of things which we need to change to make some dramatic improvements. We may not get the resources we require but we#'l start to out an action plan together next week.

At the moment I'm meeting and greeting and, following a 05:30 start. I met up with my contemporaries in Swindon today - Interesting and challenging..... They are a mixed bunch, some are uber slick sales rep type, others are world weary and and cynical and pretty much everything in between. My boos and I are quite different - both of us are engineers and we think the same way.

Meetings in the office today, Bournemouth Friday and again Monday and Tuesday with an overnight stay. Staying over night was an interesting exercise in office politics. I've been placed in a hotel comensurate with my car grade - they don't use my pay grade as I've one grade higher than the next highest paid of my contempories (or so I was informed at my appointment meeting). I'm entiled to a 3 tor4 * double room with ensuite...... I wonder if there will be a mini bar??

Saturday Night....

2008-02-02T17:59:00.000Z

....was a very catch tune by Whigfield in 1996 as I recall. Apart from that it's Saturday night and I'm facing the night all on my lonesome as Wifey has gone out to a hen party (dressed in a mini skirt and low cut top) where she assures me that her and her girlfriends are going to have a meal at a respectable restaurant and it will alll be good clean fun. He girlfriend who collected her was simliarly dressed and they are one their way to ensure all the enterainment was lined up for later. I thought it best not to ask any further.

I started my job on Friday. I arrived at 08:45 but my colleagues didn't start showing up until 09:30 as it was a Friday...... My boss arrived at 10:00, but then again he did have to drive from Bournemouth. He was gone again by 13:00 and so, after a long lunch I went back to the office to read my induction pack and left for home about 16:30. I have my own office with my name on the door (tastfully done on a sheet of A4 paper...) but It's a decnt size and I even have my own meeting table and lay-up table (for speading architectural drawings out) I also have a view on to the high street. Not bad really, alothough it could do with a lick of paint.

My one dissapointment is that I don't get my laptop etc until I have had my IT induction and that's not until next Friday. I have to drive to Bournemouth for that. The training looks enthralling - 20 minues is set aside for showing me how to unpack and repack the laptop in it's case......

Next week will be the real start - Southampton Monday, office meetings on Tuesday, company wide Development Team meeting in Swindon on Wednesday, shadowing a colleage on Thursday and then off to Bournemouth for IT training on Friday. It doesn't sound like I'll have a chance to get bored.

On another note I was in Horsham today in a well know cookshop when I overheard a comotion; Next I heard a shop assistant call for an ambulance and describe the problem; I also heard the screaming. I am a first aider and so I follwed the noise to see if I could help. I found a six or seven year old boy sat on the floor with his obviously shocked mother kneeling beside him in the entrance foyer of the toilet. It transpires that said boy had grabbed hold of a knife, out of shear instinct his mother, knowing it was dangerous, grabbed the knife away from him, in doing so she sliced his hand open quite badly.

I'm not going to judge the mother; as a parent I know that despite your best efforts you don't always get everything right and this boy seemed well cared for and his mother was beside herself with worry, she also looked like she was coming down with shock. When I found them the mother had been left alone by the shop assistants and was glad of any help. I briefly checked the wound, the resultant scream and drip of blood told me not to investigate further. I simply reapplied the hand towels which were being used as a compress and kept the pressure on - all I could then do was try and keep everyone calm, which I seemed to do. The ambulance arrived and I left the situation to the pros.

Looking back I find myself disturbed by the incident in the following ways; How did this young boy get his hands on the knife? I accept that as I parent I am responsible for my child, but I keep our knifes in a block on the work top away from little hands. Yet in this cookshop he was simply able to pick up a knife. Surely the shop has a responsibility to keep such dangerous items out of reach - their expensive knives are locked in a very large display case yet the cheap knifes were displayed on a rack that went all the way to the floor.

Secondly, the shop assistants offered no help what so ever, they called an ambulance and left mother and child to it. I think the behaviour of the company as a whole and the shop assistants were abominable. What do you think?

Hi Ho

2008-01-31T09:27:00.000Z

...It's off to work I go.

Today is my last day of freedom; tomorrow I'm at work in my new job. I've grown to my freedom, yet it doesn't seem that I've had any time off at all. Thie first week I struggeled to get out of bed for two days due to my Black Dog, then I spent two days looking after the baby. The next two weeks were spent in Derbyshire and this week has been slower, but it feels only this week have I had any time to me.

Today I'm looking after the bay, getting a hair cut, re-installing my smoke alarms (I took them down to decorate but to my shame they have been missing for about 5 months and Wifey told me last night I must have them back up by tonight).

I started to prepare our cloakroom to be redecorated on Tuesday; I had planned just to give it a like of paint but Wifey has decreed that if we decoate it must be a complete refit (Champange suites are not in vouge at the moment). Being in to construction I am having a difficult choice choosing a suite, I do like some of the Duravit and Laufen stuff, but designer Italian sanitary ware comes at a price and, alothough our house is quite large, it still has a ceiling price wich we need to consider when spending on refurbishment.

Anyway, I must go and get something doe as the baby is trying to kill the CD drive on the laptop......

Looking Up

2008-01-26T08:47:00.000Z

Well, touch wood, things seem to be looking up. I've heard from my new employer and so far I've been booked on an away day with the national development team. A great day in Swindon..... I'm going on a two day course to learn about some specialist software I'll have to use - two days in Euston and the four days at the Charter Institute of Housing conference in Brighton.

In one year at my soon to be former er employer I only had one day of training and that was organised internally and turned in to merely a group meeting with our boss.

Anyway, I've fed the baby, so now it's time to wake Wifey with a cup of coffee - I'll also cook her poached eggs on toast for breakfast. Eggs for breakfast reminds me of a conversation I had with a girl at a party once when I was at college. My chat up line was "how do you like your eggs in the morning?" Her reply was simple; "unfertilised, now F*** off...."

Homeward Bound Part Deux

2008-01-24T09:03:00.000Z

So, today I'm homeward bound. Yesterday I finished sorting my fathers house. Everything has been opened, recycled, shredded, binned, or kept for potential posterity. I loaded up my van for the journey back and then got down on my knees and vacuumed the entire house from top to bottom.

There is still the thorny issue of a storage unit which he had which will need clearing as it's costing us monthly at the moment. I've been asking my brother to do it since shortly after mat fathers death. So far he's not even been near the place, despite working not 5 minuets from the storage facility. This is starting to niggle me as it's something unfinished that needs to be concluded. I could come back up north next week to do it, but firstly there are things that need to be done at home, such as decorating, and helping Wifey with her business, which is still busy thankfully. I also miss being away from my family; I feel there are few things that can compare to snuggling up to your partners naked body in bed and holding her until she sleeps. I really miss that.

I feel like, apart from organising the funeral, Wifey and I have done pretty much everything in terms of sorting out the house. If I leave the storage unit to my brother there's no telling how long it will be before it's cleared, let alone sorted. I leave Derbyshire feeling like a job well done in clearing the house, yet I don't carry the sense of closure on the task that I was hoping for.

Second Birthdays

2008-01-23T09:01:00.000Z

It's Wifey's second birthday today.

t was three years ago today that she suffered a near fatal stroke and so, on January 23rd each year she now celebrates a second birthday to commemorate the fact that she cheated death and has gone on, despite considerable adversity, to enjoy her life again.

So, Honey, all my love on your second birthday. I'm sorry I can't be with you today, but I'll be back home tomorrow.

xxx

The Stig

2008-01-22T09:01:00.000Z

No..... Not the chap from Top Gear, rather the dump - although I am a very good driver ;-)

That's right, I've been at the dump so many times I feel like Stig of the Dump; Please tell me you've all read the book....

Anyway, I'm off to the dump in Derby - again.

The Boys are Back in Town

2008-01-21T19:50:00.000Z

I'm back in Derbyshire toady after an easy journey up on the train - St Pancrass station is looking magnificent, but I don't think it was worth £800M.

It's very wet and flooded up here and the train was delayed owing to the water rising around the tracks, but I made it here safe and sound, went in to the peaks to my father's, sorted some more stuff, collected the van and now I'm back at my brothers.

I'll be back down south on Wednesday evening.

A trip to Brighton, Hove and Worthing for some specific treated us to the fantastic sights to be held of washed up timber everywhere - you've seen it on the news, but I had no idea until Sunday when I was down on the coast. It is amazing to see in real life.

Oh, and Wifey and I had a fantastic weekend - no work on either the business or the house, no chores, just 'us' time, and also time as a family. I think it was what we both needed.

Rise and Fall

2008-01-19T10:25:00.000Z

Since the Autumn I have charted my battle with and subsequent descent in to depression. I written about some personal circumstances such as my job (It's been pissing me off since last January), my dad's death, our cat's near death and my father in law's illness.

Well, this last week I've been happy. It's been therapeutic sorting out my dad's house - some sad times and some happy times. Strangely the worst time was Thursday evening when I went to the dump to take some of the big bits of furniture. It seemed a terribly disrespectful thing to leave furniture that I have know all my life in a cold, arc lit and drizzly dump.

The best thing was coming home. I was great to see Wifey and Pickle, to talk, to eat, to drink and to, well, to do what couples do....

Homeward Bound

2008-01-18T09:21:00.000Z

I've not completed my task as yet, but I've mad a surprisingly big in road to it. There is still a hill of paperwork (where there was once a large mountain) to sort and sift but I must only have a quarter left to do. Anyway, I'm homeward bound for the weekend. I have decided to take the train as amazingly it works out cheaper - 18:50 each way on the train - that's intercity to St Pancrass, across London and on to Horsham. In my borrowed van (as nice as it is) it's about £80 just in diesel. On top of that I have to endure both the M1 (or M40) and the M25 and I know from jobs of old that the M25 on a Friday night is a place I'd rather not be.

So, the train is taking the strain and I should be home in about 3 hours to see my lovely wife and hopefully a happy and smiling son.

I'm back up north on Monday morning for a few more days toil.

I won't post over the weekend as it'll hopefully be time dedicated to the family.

Have a good one :-)

Time Dedicated to.....

2008-01-16T08:25:00.000Z

My father...

Having now a number of weeks to myself (or Wifey's beck and call...) I have decided to work on my father's house. I sit here in Derbyshire as I type over looking the gently rolling hills visible from my brothers study window.

I am now of the opinion that, whilst I still have depression, getting out of my last organisation was a good thing. I have undertaken a couple of bits of work for Wifey and the clients have found the work to be excellent, so a little of my self confidence is returning. Just having some down time is proving to be a great healer.

Anyway, time marches on an I have three quarters of an hour's journey further north to my get to my fathers house so I suppose I'd better sign off and get motoring in my builders van that I borrowed from my father in law.

Still Working

2008-01-13T19:34:00.000Z

I may be on garden leave, (although I'm not exactly sure on what terms I'm on garden leave as my former boss will no longer communicate with me) but I'm now hard at work for Wifey's business.

She covers health and safety issues amongst other things and, being qualified in H&S, I get roped in to some of the work. Tonight I have to right an incident report for an accident at our near by airport.

Reading the witness statements it looks to be a case of a momentary lapse of concentration. A lapse which came perilously close to a very serious accident.

Anyway, a glass of wine and the laptop in front of the TV and I should have this written up before tea....

Things to Make You go Mmmmmm

2008-01-10T20:30:00.000Z

So, an interesting day. It appears that I will not be parting on good terms with my current employer. I had some questions about the exact terms on which I was being put on garden leave. In return I got a snot-o-gramme from my boss saying that my services were no longer required as my duties were being perform by others in the organisation.

This was due to the fact that a return to work date for such an illness is uncertain and my job can't wait for me to recover. They've also changed the locks to my office building.

I did always say my boss was an alcoholic dictator didn't I. Today just proved that I'm better off out of the clutches of a work place bully. In all honesty I got off lightly, he is much worse to others since left and also current employees, but hey, I left on my terms and I think that this was do as a last parting shot to ensure he had the last word.

I've still got to collect my personal items - now that should be an amusing event.

A Tidy Garden

2008-01-09T18:34:00.000Z

Well, I've just been told that I'm to be put on Garden Leave......

So I know have a month off work, paid - Glorious!

Something New

2008-01-09T10:28:00.000Z

I have done something that I have never done before, that is taken time off for depression. I usually battle through, either with or without drugs, but now I have taken the sound advice of The Boy and the lovely Z. I will not work too hard, I will put aside professional and personal pride in my work for a company whom, whilst their intentions are excellent, their working practices are a shambles. I have self certified my self for the rest of the week.

Yesterday's post was a little disjointed and also a little indulgent, but the fact I wanted to post means that I am on the road to a recovery. I'm sitting here in Wifey's office and from the window I can see the country park in our village and onwards to the South Downs. Admittedly this is over the tops of the houses in the typical sub-urban estate in which we live, but never the less, there seems to be a certain calm about today after the string winds of last night.

The sun shines on the side of my face and refreshes me, so hopefully my mood will continue to improve.

Me Time

2008-01-08T12:56:00.000Z

Things have been going a little tits up lately with my resolution to battle this episode of depression will will power alone. I've done it before but not this time. Anyway, I felt absolutely rubbish this morning. I had intended to go to work; I dressed, dropped the baby to nursery but I had to drive back past the village we live in to collect somethings from Worthing. I called in at home, made a coffee and just lay on my bed. After that I couldn't get up. I sent a test to the boss saying I had depression and I'd keep him updated. I then went to sleep.

I woke again at 12:30 and I feel much better - time dedicated to me.

I feel ready to blog about all that's been happening, so;

After my dad died I was upset, naturally, but after the funeral some 2 weeks later I felt a whole lot better about his passing. What I didn't feel better about was the state of his house. He hoarded everything - I told him we he was alive that he should sort it out and save me a job, but no! God love him, but honestly the stuff he kept ranged from the stupid to the occasionally disgusting.

Over Christmas Wifey's dad was taken ill - He suffers from Bi-polar disorder - I can only say this as this blog is anonymous - only wifey knows who AFC 30K really is. He had a manic episode and it resulted in him being hospitalized. We went in voluntarily but to be fair if he hadn't gone they would have sectioned him.

We visited most days and he also was allowed out to be with us, but seeing him in that state was upsetting for all the family. He came to ours for Christmas lunch but went manic when he was here - it was a miracle that we persuaded him to go back to hospital. We was released at the end of last week and he his back to his old self. He is very embarrassed about what happened to him. I have told him he has nothing to apologise for, but I can see why he's embarrassed.

Most of Christmas week was spent working on Wifey's business and visiting her dad. Pickle, the baby, did not receive the attention he deserved. We feel like terrible parents, but hopefully it's short term pain for long term gain. Wifey's business is doing really well and if it continues like this she'll need to take on and administrator, at least 3 days a week. It's been hard work but the extra money will be welcome.

Our long term plan is to able to send Pickle to a fee paying school for all of his education. That and a nice house somewhere on the South Downs with outbuildings for Wifey's business.

And as a footnote, it's our wedding anniversary today - happy anniversary Hon.

Time the Healer

2008-01-07T11:35:00.000Z

Just a short post as my level of concentration is akin to a goldfish at present. This is one symptom of depression and why a choose to go back to pills during this bout of the damned Black Dog.

The weekend was spent in Derbyshire sorting through my dads worldly possessions. I think I've mentioned before that he hoarded everything - he didn't even throw his old bus tickets away! We've now spent 4 solid days in total clearing the house and despite 4 van loads of rubbish removed and or recycled we've only managed to clear his bedroom. It's only a small house but there are still 4 more rooms to clear. Being so far away from me down on the south coast it's proving a little tricky to find the time.

The meds are starting to take effect and I fell a little better, but also Wifey and I had a good weekend (overall....) we went out for dinner in Derby near to my bothers house on Saturday and it was great just to be together talking and indulging time in each other.

Strangely, I'm now finding work really stressful. I've been stressed at work for 3 episodes during my working career and each one has been horrible. I only have 19 days left in this role but my boss has made it clear he wants his pound of flesh before a desert them.

So a both good and a productive weekend, work is a drag but there is an end in sight. Also, spring is but a couple of months away and longer, warmer and brighter days always make a body feel better.

But folks, remember, this blog is about me and how I'm feeling and I'm very conscious not to turn it in to a depression blog. Depression has affected every single aspect of my life at some point in my life and I hate the fact it interferes with things. I'm sure depression will be blogged about in the future but hopefully soon you'll see some more amusing posts.

Ashamed

2008-01-03T13:32:00.001Z

I'm ashamed to say that my depression has finally got to much. It has become debilitating to the point of affecting my daily life and so I went to see my doctor this morning. He knows me and he as knows that I know my depression so I was just a case of 'doc, my depression is back and I can't shake it off. I've had it since October' and a very brief chat about the pros and cons of one medication over another and 2 minutes later I walked out with a prescription for anti-depressants.

I feel ashamed of myself - I couldn't cope, why can't I just be a happier and thankful for what I have etc. On the other hand I know that in about 5 days I will feel a whole lot better and if you have an illness that's debilitating and there is a treatment for it then it would be stupid of me not to seek help.

On a positive note though, I have just had a phone call to say that the father -in-law will be released from hospital tomorrow.

On the down side, the boss is being a pain and this is the way it will be for the the next 4 weeks.

I really don't know if I've jumped to the right job, but whatever happens know I'm going, so I'll just have to make the best of it and hope that this is the job that'll make me.

It's official

2008-01-02T10:41:00.001Z

I've just telephoned the boss and handed in my resignation.

Apparently he thought I was going to do it..... Mind you I think they all say that, or may be they've noticed I've not been happy here.

I start my new role on Friday 1st February.

I may not be able to blog and surf at the new place as they are a much bigger outfit and have a fairly sophisticated IT set up which logs internet use. I can use the newt before 9, after 5 and between 1 and 2, however I never take lunch breaks, so the 1 - 2 time is out and I never stay past 5 if I can possibly help it, and if I am then I'm working - I have a wife and family to see!

I will try and blog more this month but work is busy, as is the home life - so many things to blog about, so little time.

My Black Dog is still eating in to my inspiration thought.....

2 & counting

2007-12-20T16:37:00.000Z

The cat lives!

He has an overactive thyroid gland. I have put it down to him simply being an old codger - He was ill and I didn't take him to he vet.

I was wrong - his illness is very treatable and I feel like crap about not taking him sooner.

I still have a cat but I am minus £130.

3's

2007-12-20T11:54:00.000Z

They say bad luck comes in three's. Firstly my dad, then Wifey's dad and now.....

Well, not quite yet but our very old and cantankerous tom cat is on his last legs - he has been wasting away for most of this year, but last night he wouldn't hold his head up - he just lay on the bathroom floor soaking up the heat from the central heating pipes below.

We have two moggies and he rules the roost over our 8 year old female. She beat him to the food bowls this morning and ate out of his - he didn't challenge her, he just ate from her bowl instead. Previously she wouldn't have dared touch his food bowl and for good reason.

He has an appointment at the vets at 3:30 today - a rather suspect that he won't be around when I get home.

Time....

2007-12-19T08:52:00.001Z

....is something I don't seem to have recently. Work has been manic with long hours being worked which I'm not in favour of. I've been getting home and then helping Wifey with her business and looking after the baby. I've also been trying to sort out my dad's estate. The forms to obtain probate want to know everything....

On top of all this, I'm still undecided about the new job, I do some voluntary work which has fallen by the wayside recently and to cap it all off my father in law has been taken ill. He has a recurring medical problem that means in may be in hospital for some time. So this year for Christmas my dad won't be with us (It's his birthday tomorrow) and neither will my father in law. I've never spent Christmas without my dad and Wifey, likewise, has never spent Christmas without her father.

And finally, my depression has been getting the better of me recently and a wave of apathy has swept over me about everything making the large amount of work I have to get through seem insurmountable instead of just difficult.

I know things will change soon, but roll on happy times.

Never Again

2007-11-26T15:29:00.000Z

I went back up north on Friday night. The journey was long and you can't reason with a 1 year old who doesn't want to be strapped in his car seat.

I went to my dads on Saturday after a quick wander around Derby (It's changed a lot). What I found at my dads was horrific - Things that I won't share, things that you don't need to know - Wifey and I didn't sleep much Saturday night, the things we had seen kept us awake.

We have chosen a coffin and flowers, we all chose the same coffin and agreed on the flowers quickly. The Funeral is on Thursday.

My bother and I and our wives started to clear the house - My father was (I'm having trouble with the is/was thing) a hoarder. He has records going back to the early 50's. He didn't throw any paperwork away, not even bus tickets...... The wives went early as my S-I-L was in tears and our baby was not happy about being confined to a push chair.

Wifey did something that was truly remarkable. Something about which I can not write, but suffice to say she simply got on with the job in hand, with no fuss at all. I also undertook a job about which I can not write - he was my dad I felt it was my duty - At the time I got on with it, but now I think I can say that it was one of the worst experiences of my life (and there's been quite a few).

There is still so much of the house to sort through it will take many days of work, time that my brother and I don't have, but time we will have to find.

Right now I have to start work on the probate and working out his estate.

I am dealing with it but right now I feel like a hollow shell.

Dealing with it

2007-11-21T12:35:00.000Z

As you may know I have been battling depression since puberty. Right now I am struggling.

The job is getting me down (i may have mentioned that once or twice before) and I have lost any enthusiasm I once had for the organisation. I have several complex issues that need to be resolved and to do that I need to talk to my boss. The only thing is that some times I seem him twice in a fortnight and the emails and phone calls are constant, the other times I hear nothing for weeks. As we work in different offices, some hours travel apart, it can be difficult to meet up, but generally the only sensible answers I get are ones during a face to face meeting.

The upshot being, why should I bother my arse with putting any effort in when I don't get any support back? I have days when I pull myself up by my boot straps and say 'it's all good experience - the more you put in to it, the more you'll get out of it' That lasts about a day when I hit on something I need to talk to him about or work that I have done is ridiculed (usually in front of others) and my mood and attitude drop to zero in a heart beat.

I work for a bully and anyone who works for a bully is bullied to some extent - Don't get me wrong, I am not the shy retiring type and a fight my corner even though he is more eloquent and fast thinking than I. But it's been grinding me down since Christmas last year. This tension combined with Wifey being stressed about her work and us both being stressed about money and the demands of bringing up a baby (I does have it's joys but the last 12 months have been tiring) has taken it's toll and I am struggling not to fall in to un-controlled depression. I know that I am depressed, but I don't want to go back on anti-depressants as they do have some unwanted side effects, I want to ride out this storm by will power alone.

Dad dieing has been a body blow, as it must be for anyone who loses a loved one - there are things that are playing on my mind and they are stopping me from sleeping soundly. The result being I am tired and lethargic and I really can't be bothered with work.

I hope there should be a contract on the door mat at home waiting for me for the new job - it's not perfect but the organisation is 533 times bigger and has a professional set of managers.

He's to being able to resign tomorrow!

Just for the record - actually knowing you're depressed is a great healer and whilst the depression affects you, you are able to sit down and try and rationalise it just like I'm doing here.

My Dad

2007-11-20T13:43:00.000Z

From what we know my Dad died last Tuesday night in bed. I am thankful.

My dad was hard of hearing due to tinnitus which was the product of a lifetime working in or around aircraft. He was generally excluded in a social situation because he just couldn't hear what was going on. He had been having some health difficulties since about this time last year and in the spring he was diagnosed with heart failure. He was finding mobility a struggle and had been house bound for about 4 or 5 months. He was down with us only a few weeks ago and had a good time. He loves his grandson. "you're a grand little lad" are often said whilst ruffling the boy's hair. He said to me that he was feeling much better and the 4 stone, yes 4 stone, he had lost made him feel even better, although he did say he felt like he was on his last innings.

I fully expected the old sod to live on for years to come.

I'm sure he had regrets in life, most of us do, but he got to see his two sons educated, married and settled with children. There are elements of our life's that are not perfect, but generally my brother and I are happy. So what I'm trying to say is what better way to go? He wasn't in pain, just a little tired. He had all his mental faculties although he was hard of hearing. He did not endure a long and painful illness, quite simply his heart just stopped. I was not there and I don't know if he suffered yet I feel strangely confident that he didn't. In my own mind I know he went to bed and never woke up. I feel deeply sorry that he wasn't found for 5 days and that I wasn't with him, or at least near him, when he died, but on the whole I'm sort of happy. No dementure, no stroke, no cancer. I must take all these things as a positive.

A Good Man

2007-11-18T19:26:00.001Z

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

Stop the Clocks by WH Auden

My father's clock stopped some time last week;
My brother found him this afternoon.
He died in his sleep.

I have lost my dad and I shall miss him.

Dad, I love you.
Rest in Peace.

xxx

Of the Weekend

2007-11-06T11:32:00.001Z

I may have mentioned before that I am an Engineer. My degree is in Civil Engineering and I worked as a Civil Engineer for a number of years. I have built and worked on some pretty impressive stuff over the years. I have built a few roads, the odd bridge here and there and a good number of water process plants. I was also on the tender stage of some of the interesting bits of Channel Tunnel Rail Link (CTRL). I worked on the winning bid for the St Pancras redevelopment. I would have loved to go to the royal opening tonight but alas I was not invited. I saw that job last year when I went past St Pancras and was amazed to see that the logo I had created to represent our bid team (it was a 3-way joint venture) was being used as the job logo. It was flying high for all to see on the tower cranes and on the hard hats and high vis vests of the men on site. I was flabbergasted to say the least. The logo was only ever supposed to be a quick fix, it wasn’t even supposed to be the actual logo we were using on the bid documents, but there you go!

Anyway, I shall come to the point. As an engineer I have some specific skills which come in handy now and again. One such skill is ‘levelling’. I can, using an optical level to work out at what level something should be set at – very handy if you want to lay a very large patio for instance.

F-i-L knows I have these skills and occasionally exploits them – the only problem is that whilst we both know what we’re doing, we don’t actually know what each other is doing. My way of doing things is very different to his. He thinks that mostly I’m wrong and tries to get me to do it his way. I mostly think that he is wrong and try to get him to do it my way.

And so it came to pass that last Sunday I spent from 10am until 4pm standing in a garden ‘discussing’ how we should set out the patio. We did break for lunch about 1 and thanks to M-i-L for a lovely roast but other than that we got pretty much nothing achieved…

Just for the record, if we’d have done it my way I’d have been done by 10:45….

Persona

2007-11-02T14:35:00.000Z

Many of may posts of late have had somewhat of a negative tone. Even in my last post I was putting myself down over the standard of my basic education.

I'm not an unhappy person. I am a realist that has seen what I think of as more than my fair share of problems in my life. I won't regain you with the many problems that I have had suffice it to say that I am still here and for the most part, still kicking.

I've told you all that I suffer from depression but when necessary it is an illness that can be controlled by drugs. I wasn't diagnosed until my mid 20's but after talking to the health professional I feel at ease with my illness. I stated to have bouts of both depress on and mania during puberty but it took a serious set of events and a knowledgeable friend to put me in touch with the medics. In short the medics believe it to be an inbalance or serotonin (the happy chemical) in my brain. Sometimes I get to much and become almost invincible. Other times I don't get enough and become embroiled in my own misery. For the most part I'm fine these days and I have learned to live with it and to recognise when I'm up, when I'm down and when I'm in equilibrium. Wifey also has learned to live with my illness and can reign me in when I'm out of balance.

It is at times a great illness to have. Being on an up is incredible. Nothing can stop me. I am the greatest! Men want to be my friend, women want to be my lover and as for work, I know how good I am and if you don't think so, who cares! Who would not want to be like that..

Being on a down is not so great - it's the great draw back of bi-polar disorder as the call it these days. Still, you can't have everything can you.

For the most part I'm, as our American cousins might say, 'a regular guy'. A guy with the normal hopes, aspirations, dreams and anxieties that other people have.

Just for the record I'm currently just a little on the high side of normal, although I have to thank Wifey for that :-)

Typos

2007-10-31T16:42:00.000Z

I have reread my last post and my subsequent comment and I would like to apologise for my typos.

I did very poorly at school and got all my qualifications a little later in life. As a result my spelling, grammar and basic mental arithmetic are appalling.

Once again I offer my humble apologies and thank you for your visit.

Thursday

2007-10-25T15:31:00.000Z

I have yet to decide what I am going to write. I just want to write something.

Work has been hectic recently but not in a good way - I love the pressure of a job, a job that you can do, do well and are well supported by the team around you. A good team is one that is supportive of all it's members what ever their status. I have a great team below me and along side me, my only grip is the team above me.

I'm sure that that is a common complaint of many managers - the guys below they are useless, they don't do what they are told when they are told to do it. My management style is somewhat different to that. I believe that if the team below me fails then it is something that I have done wrong. I've not directed them properly, given unclear instructions, not defined the results that I want or given an unrealistic deadline.

I now people enjoy working with me. I like to refer to it as that as I want all the members of the team included in the process. Give them involvement, purpose and recognition and people will work hard and diligently for you.

Yet, at the moment I am not being managed well. I am given unclear directions, unrealistic timescales and not made to feel worth while. A good shouting tongue lashing or a brusque email is considered to be a motivational tool at my work place.

I have not been here long enough to have secure employment rights so I must keep my mouth closed. I can not speak out yet speaking out is what I do.

It makes for an unhappy work place and no matter how you try to keep your work and home life separate they invariably affect one another.

I suffer from depression and have done since puberty. I have had some dark times and some very manic bouts. Times when I have just wanted to destroy everything around me. I have been free from medication for nearly two years yet I find my mind being drawn to depressive thoughts. I try hard to be mentally stronger and for the most part I am succeeding but at the moment it is a battle so please excuse me if my post are a little dark at the moment - it is a form of release that is far better than taking it out on those around me.

In Brief

2007-10-22T18:10:00.000Z

In brief, or should that be briefs?

Work is very busy and the boss is being a bit of a pain. Something along the line of 'today you will paint the grass purple' When the grass is duly painted the response is 'but I told you it was to be yellow, no why haven' you don't it' I have an email but protesting does no good.

I didn't get the Olympics, but to be honest 2 1/2 hours commute each way was never going to be something I would enjoy.

Regarding the original job I went for yada yada yada, we are talking money, car allowance and precise job remit - I am meeting the regional director. Bizarre really as I started at one down from the top and I'm gradually working my way down the list of seniority.

Wifey is working hard and her business is really starting to step up a gear.

Its 7:15pm and I must sign off to feed the baby and put him to bed.

I have a tension headache

I'm Alive

2007-10-11T17:02:00.000Z

I am still alive, however, for a change I am very busy.

Work has been a little manic and will continue to be so. Home life is demanding and at times challenging.

The baby has been ill again, as have I.

I went to the Olympics people today to talk about a job. They are a really impressive bunch of people and they have a date to stick too...

The view was pretty impressive from the Olympics offices in Canary Wharf.

May be they'll hire me, may be they won't.

I will keep you posted even if it is a little infrequently.

Also, in the last post I itimated a screaming good sex session and I only got 4 comments and one of those was from Wifey - I think I'll leave the sex blogging to The Girl.

Please do check back as I will continue to post, it's just that life is getting in the way at the moment.

A Bedroom Fantasy

2007-10-01T11:49:00.000Z

Well, here I am, at home, with the baby round my feet and Wifey setting at the desk to my right; I’m not sure if this working from home lark is all it’s cracked up to be.

It was an interesting weekend all told. Firstly one of Wifey’s bedroom fantasies came true.

At just after 11pm on Saturday night, a strange and good looking, man entered Wifey's bedroom. She was already in bed waiting for his arrival. Wifeys pulse was racing as the stranger talked softly and calmly to her. He was obviously educated and had a commanding air of authority to him. He talked some more and she listen intently, hanging on his every word. The stranger climbed on to Wifey’s bed and gently, but authoritatively, rolled her over. He pulled her knickers to one side and Wifey began to bite the pillow waiting for what was to come. When it finally did come, she bit the pillow hard and yelped weakly through her clenched teeth.

“Well that should help ease the vomiting” the on-call doctor said.

“Thank you Doctor” said Wifey.

I’ll post some more tomorrow.

An update

2007-09-27T12:51:00.000Z

I actually wanted to post about a few things during the course of this week;

about the trip Wifey and I took on Sunday to Nymans Gardens, although I didn't take my camera so no photos.

About my first time out unsupervised as and Advance Motorists Observer.

Of the fact that all three of us are still a little on the ill side and just can't seem to shift it.

About the fact I have taken up my evening running again now my decoration duties have subsided a little.

About Sunday night.

About the fact I am now running around like a blue arsed fly being busy at work.

But, I really don't have the time or the inclination to post this week.

Tomorrow I'm moving offices and the new office isn't ready yet so I'll have to work from home for a week or two.

More soon and may be a photo or two....

Busy, Busy, Busy

2007-09-24T12:24:00.000Z

Whilst I am not exactly globetrotting like The Boy, or appearing on Radio 4 talk shows like The Girl or having babies like Slavadore at Smaller than Life or Ally at Ducking For Apples I have been busy on business and getting ready for a baby.

I’d better just put the record straight; I’ve not been getting ready for Wifey and I’s baby… We already have one of those thank you very much. We have been getting ready for our friends, D&V’s baby. She, for we know (at least we think we know) it is a girl, will be born today at Worthing Hospital by Caesarean Section. We had lunch with D&V on Saturday when we happened to meet each other just outside the Little Black Olive. If you every visit Horsham and want a decent little non chain owned coffee shop then the LBO is for you. It’s just round the corner from Macdonalds…..

Dad to be can’t stop smiling at the prospect of being a dad; Mum to be is a little on the nervous side. Anyway, D,V & baby MJ I hope everything goes well today.

As for Busy, Busy, busy, we are in the process of moving offices. Not just within the building, but to a different building and a different county. I’ll now be working in only the next county as opposed to the next but one as I do now. It’ll be only 20 minutes from home, which is better than the days when I used to work near Lewisham and still lived in Horsham

We are also coming up for the time of year when we need to submit bids for funding to the Housing Corporation (A government Quango) and that also follows internal budgets for the next financial year.

Anyway I must press on…

Still Hoping

2007-09-19T10:28:00.001Z

The job role wasn't quite what I was expecting...

I honestly don't know whether or not I could do the job and that concerns me. The guys I met seemed Ok and I think I could get on with them but you never really know unitil the chips are down.

I'm getting a little wobbly... I am just jumping to get out of my current job or is it a fear of the unknow which is concerning me.

They are also talking to someone else so they may not even offer my the job.

Work went from nothing to high pressure crisis managemenet yesterday. A crisis I had predicted would happen but was not in my power to control. Never the less I am caught up with it and I won't come out smelling of roses whilst the culpret will.

Humph!

Days of Hope & Glory

2007-09-18T10:26:00.001Z

Today is a day of hope. I am meeting yet another set of people form a perspective employer; those of the Assessment Centre fame. This will be the third set of people I have met in connection with this organisation. These people would be by direct manager and his boss.

They wouldn’t keep coming back to me if they we’re interested, so I am hopeful something will come of this meeting. My gloomy mood has been lifted by the prospect of the meeting today.

So that’s the hope; In terms of glory, isn’t it a glorious day outside!

I left the house early this morning has I had to drop Pickle of at the nursery and then do battle with both the M23 and M25 yet today I was calm. Even the post school holiday traffic was bearable; I simply consciously applied by Advanced Driving techniques and whilst I drove did a running commentary as a little brush up. When I turned off the motorway the A roads were actually quite pleasant. The sun was flickering through the trees and highlighting the magnificent countryside around me.

We won’t mention that Wifey is having a rubbish day; she’s forgot to go to a meeting (although not that important she attend anyway), she’s fallen downstairs spilling coffee over her clean suit and my newly decorated walls, not to mention the freshly shampooed carpets. Wifey bruises very easily as she’s on some stiff medications so by tonight she’ll be black and blue (and purple and yellow and violet…….)

A Tale of Life and Death

2007-09-17T14:25:00.000Z

I was mulling over what I shoould post today when I went to Random Acts of Reality and read this post.

http://randomreality.blogware.com/blog/_archives/2007/9/13

It points you to three other bloggers who have posted about their experience of dealing with a crash in Texas.

It takes quite a while to read all three posts but if you can spare the time then do read it. It is, at times, difficult to read but persevere as it provides as sobering message (no pun intended).

It just reminds you of what our emergency services all over the world have to face and reminds you of the respect they deserve.

Coming Clean

2007-09-15T16:58:00.000Z

I have to admit that I have not actually been posting pictures of Wifey. They were of course;

i) a model I saw whilst walking around the stage at the Eden Project and

ii) a rear shot of Julia Roberts at the polo match in Pretty Woman.

Below is a picture of Wifey, and as I haven't got any fancy editing programmes, I wasn't able to blank out the face. Obviously our friends will regonise her and the view from our living room and out to our garden (those full height windows were a bitch to install.....)

So, if you see her around you'll know who she is. Tap her on the shoulder and say hi!

Ok already

2007-09-14T08:15:00.000Z

So here it is!

The long awaited picture of Wifey treading divots at the polo match.

It isn't the best picture, but the other one shows too much of her face and I don't have these face editing programs to blur out the important details.

This was the last divot trod and she's now heading back to the marque where her wine is waiting.

Anyway I can't stop long today as I have another meeting to attend away from the office.

And guess what folks.... It's Friday TGIF as someone once said.

Have a good one :-)

Another Post

2007-09-12T15:18:00.000Z

I was going to post a very maudlin post that I compose this afternoon. As it happens, I didn't want to post it as it was an outpouring of my my mind and it was particularly fun to read. I've mentioned often enough that I'm not happy in my work and it was just another rehash of that.

Anyway, you (and I) have been saved from that torture has we suffered a power cut and my post (being composed in Word without being filenamed) bit the dust (ether?)

I am a little happier now (I only have 40 minutes before I leave work) so I thought I'd post you a picture of Mevagissy Harbour. The image is quite small as it's not the original image, rather it's from a web album, but that's in my real name and has pictures of me and others published all over the place so I wouldn't want to direct you there now would I.

I didn't get many comments about the picture of Wifey's back so I'm guessing you don't want to see her treading divots then......(This is a shameless plug for comments as I'm feeling a bit low down here and need cheering up...)

Down Beat

2007-09-12T11:33:00.000Z

I’d love to post something with a cheerful note to it today, but I had been wandering around with a dark cloud over my head for some months since I realised that this job isn’t for me. On the whole I’ve just being putting it to the back of my mind and getting on with things whilst keeping my ear to the ground for a new job. Over the past two weeks the cloud has darken and is threatening rain….

I have ‘things in the pipeline’ but nothing is certain until you actually start a new job. My lack of motivation is starting to turn in to a vicious circle or lethargy.

Roll on the weekend.

50th

2007-09-11T09:29:00.001Z

To celebrate my 50th post I promised you a picture of Wifey. I did say that I would post the one of her treading divots at the polo match but I have misplaced that one. I have an inkling of where it is so I'll post it another time.

So there you go folks a picture of my beautiful wife.

Tomorrow I'll post another picture of a Cornish harbour as you all seem to like them so much....

2007-09-10T13:48:00.000Z

I did say I'd get round to posting some photos. So here is one from our holiday in July to Cornwall.

This is a view in land over Padstow harbour and was taken by Wifey. I particularly like the way she has captured the reflection of the two sailing boats in the water. Also the sky is magnificent.

A memorable photo from a memorable day.

Tell Me Why I Don't Like Mondays

2007-09-10T11:52:00.000Z

I am still recovering from my illness last week, although I am now back at work.

I haven’t had a chance to catch up on everyone’s blogs so far, but I will in the next week or so.

This is a time of change for me; I’m really not happy in my current job, I’m bored and there are a number of procedural issues I have with the way in which I am forced to work. So a change is called for.

I have had another phone call from the organisation I went to the assessment centre for and they are still interested – as am I. The salary isn’t as good, but I hope it’s taking me in the right direct and they seem like a good place to work, an organisation that values its employees. I’ve got the ear of two of the senior directors, I now just have to meet the senior management team I would report to. This isn’t the step from middle management, to senior management I had hoped for, but I feel that promotion is a realistic prospect.

My trouble is that I’ve started to wind down at my current job. I haven’t got a new job yet and I feel like I’m in my notice period already. My work is not at the top of my priorities during the day. I have to stop this in case I don’t get the new job, or I don’t like the team I’d be working with and have to stay in my current job a little while longer.

It’s tough – I know I should work hard, but I know it’s mostly futile.

Role on a resolution to all this.

On a less thoughtful note, I finished (with the exception of a few minor bits and bobs) the DIY project I was working on. I will have this week off from anything related to DIY. Now I have nothing to channel my energies in to perhaps I will have to take up chasing Wifey round the house……

Today I'll mostly be ill

2007-09-06T14:49:00.000Z

I'm ill again with a cold. That's twice in three months. I never get ill! I even got sent home early from my meeting yesterday for fear of infecting the entire building.

Yet again when I am ill the weather is nice and I'm laid up.

Can somebody pass a tissue......

Wednesday's Post

2007-09-04T15:27:00.000Z

I would really like to post everyday with some witty, well informed and erudite posts but sadly most of the time my life is not that note worthy and I lack the comic genius of others. However, I will not be able to post tomorrow as I have to go north of the river for an all day meeting.

Please think of me at around 08:00 as I'm queuing for the Dartford tunnel...

I'll be back on Thursday and the normal drivel will (work allowing) will continue.

And as for the Photo of Wifey I promised, well As I explained, I've been busy decorating. I'll hunt out the photo next week and post it up here.

The Start of Something New

2007-09-04T11:56:00.000Z

I was have a pretty sparse day in terms of inspiration for a bog post when I read The Boy’s post about is children going back to school.

I never liked school, I didn’t do very well academically and for some of the time I was bullied. I left school with three CSE’s and not very good ones at that. Since that time I have put myself back through college and university and now have a good 2:1 degree in Civil Engineering. They say necessity is the mother of all invention and I needed a better job so I invented some exam results (I wasn’t bright enough to get on my original college course) and some motivation and got myself educated. I am currently in the process of persuading my employer to sponsor me to undertake and MBA.

I’m immensely proud of my achievements, although I am missing a good basic education. I can’t spell or punctuate properly and, whilst my higher maths is fine, my basic maths is appalling.

Today Pickle (the baby) started nursery. At just short of 10 months old Wifey and I thought he needed to interact with more children than the few he knows from Wifey’s informal baby group (The Coven). Nursery also helps Wifey in terms of her business; it’s hard to run a business effectively with a bouncing baby vying for every bit of attention. So off he goes to nursery. Only 2 days a week (although his granny and granddad have him on Thursdays), but it really is the start of something new; his education.

Wifey and I have been very impressed with what the nursery has to offer and a key point was that they pay close attention to the children’s development which is from nationally recognised educational and developmental standards. There are lots of other things that are impressive too, but we liked the fact his play is aimed at developing him.

His education will last him a lifetime and it’s our responsibility as parents to ensure he attends the best he is able too. Whilst not wanting to be ‘competitive dad’ I don’t want him to have to work like I had did after I had left school. I wish him to make the best possible start in life. Take it from someone that has known employment both pre and post degree, I can say is that I’m glad I did my degree.

He’s not the happiest little boy at the moment, his teeth are shooting through rapidly and he has a bit of a sniffle, so to say he is crotchety is an understatement! I hope is careers had a better day than I had a night, but above all I hope Pickle enjoys his day. I shall find out at 5:45 when I pick him up.

All Change Please, All Change (my weekend not abbreviated very much)

2007-09-03T13:34:00.001Z

Changes were afoot this weekend (#cccccchanges#). The dining room is now very white, with the exception of the wood work which is still a beautiful shade of lemony yellow. On Friday when I arrived home from work I stripped off to my shorts, donned a dust mask and some goggles and set about sanding the walls down. I hate sanding and for an hour I sanded and sanded and then sanded some more.

Having restored a few houses now I have some pretty impressive power tools and my Pro Bosch ½ sheet sander powered through the job (that sound likes and extract from Tool Time…). I immerged from the room covered from head to foot in a thick layer of dust. You would have had to see me to believe it. Wifey ran away when I went for a hug and the cats disappeared through the cat flap at top speed. I headed for a much needed shower and then settled down for the night with Wifey, the cats and a bottle of Chenin Blanc.

Saturday saw me head off bright an early for a driving lesson. I can drive, allegedly. I will explain all now.

I am member of the IAM (Institute of Advanced Motorists) and I have been asked to train as an Observer (An instructor really). So there I was, for 2 ½ hours on Saturday morning, observing and being observed. (Who was observing the observing observer?). I thoroughly enjoyed it and whilst it has been a year since I past my test and bad habits have begun to creep back in, I was amazed on how, once you have the technique, it becomes second nature to me.

I would love to blog about the Associate (the learner) and the drives that we do, however, I must respect their privacy and not comment on how they performed. (even though this is an anonymous blog my conscience won’t allow me to break this confidence). I think I did well and the comments I gave the learner were spot on and were made in a positive tone.

I returned home to be greeted Wifey covered in paint having put the first coat of base coat on the dining room walls. I quickly donned my DIY gear and PVA’d the ceiling. Just another reason why I hate Artex….. In the afternoon we needed to get some DIY supplies, so a trip to the B&Q in Crawley was called for. We stopped in Horsham and grabbed a bite to eat at a good coffee shop we frequent and, as we were heading back t o the car, an advert grabbed my attention. It said;
AFC30K – A free Nokia N95 on your tariff awaits you inside”
Ps – we have some in stock…

Well what was I to do? Despite the sales assistant trying to talk me out of it I was finally presented with my new Nokia N95. I had to convince the salesman that I really wanted it; that was the phone I have had my eye on ever since my phone savvy brother visited in the spring. This may sound perverse, but I respected is attitude. He informed me of all the pitfalls of my desire and showed me some excellent models which in many ways are better than the N95. The big problem remains that I just don’t know how to use any other phone than a Nokia. I have tried and my old Sony Ericson nearly made the grade, but then I accidentally dropped it in a pot of paint and back to a Nokia it was!

I have just finished setting the new phone up this morning when I synchronised it with my PC and all my contacts and diary etc are all nicely loaded safely in the new phone. Anyway I’m happy with it so far (2 days….)

On Saturday evening we spent some time at Wifey’s parents as the love to see Pickle. We also got some free grub and then went home for a ceiling painting session and some more wine.

Sunday was more painting and some other chores around the house which caused me to loose my temper in a big way. My temper usually subsides hours later and usually after I’ve broken the thing that annoyed me in the first place. This time a session painting, a shower and some sweet lovin’ sorted me out in a fine style and set my up for a pleasant afternoon in Guilford. (Thanks to Wifey for understanding….)

Lunch was at Wagamama’s; the baby seems to like their Yaki Soba. I have a great photo (taken on the new phone of him trying to suck in a mouthful of noodles. (I guess it’s the sort of picture you could only love if you’re a parent!) A swift wander around the town followed were we spent a couple of hours looking for something that we didn’t find. We finally called it a day (narrowly avoiding the new Krispy Kreme doughnut shop) and called in to see Wifey’s sister on the way (ish) home.

At home more changes in the dining room and some quality time with my Honey Pie (Wifey). Yep Sunday was a pretty good day. Now let’s see if we can survive the week at work.

Home is Where the Heart is

2007-08-31T15:50:00.001Z

As I have blogged before I have ‘issues’ with my current job. The work is mostly easy and I get out of the office when I want to and get to see some beautiful parts of my patch as part of my job. I haven’t even mentioned just how good the pension is. However, I’m not challenged (or not in a good way). I’m bored and I feel like I’m fading in to obscurity.

I went for an interview three weeks ago but I didn’t get the job, however, they are considering me for another, lower paid, position in the organisation. It’s in a sector that I enjoy working in as they end product gives me satisfaction. I’m helping others and helping others is good for my soul.

I always keep my CV on Monster as you never know when a good opportunity will arise. Today I had a phone call. A phone call from the people behind the Olympic Delivery Authority. I hadn’t thought about going back to Civil Engineering, but this would be different. This would be as a client and I like client side work. Also, this is the Big One. It’s the most high profile construction job in this country for a generation.

The last Big One was the Channel Tunnel. There have been some amazing jobs built since then (Jubilee Line Extension, CTRL, Heathrow T5 to name a few) but non have captured the imagination of the country quite like the Tunnel. The Olympics will be this generations show stopper (unless they cock it up on a grand scale…) and I could have the chance to be a part of it, influence the design of the projects, control costs and keep the construction workers safe.

Not to mention the big fat pay rise.

I like the sound of it, I do, but it would mean working in Canary Wharf. I’d be in with the big wigs and the hot shots but 1 ¾ hours door to door from home and the job will be high pressure. If I succeed then future high profile jobs will follow with suitably large pay packets but, as always in this business ,you have to go where the work is and the big, big jobs could mean overseas. 10 years ago I’d have jumped at the chance but I’ve worked with too many guys who have lost their family to the job. Guys with snapshots on their desks of children on once monthly weekend visits to their father. Would that really happen to me……

A weekend to mull over the prospect.

Photo Test (The Cat)

2007-08-30T12:30:00.000Z

Computers, Pretty Women and Dinosaurs

2007-08-30T12:13:00.000Z

Well it was a glorious Bank Holiday weekend we have just had. (only a 2 day weekend this week; booooo). As I have said I took the preceding Friday off, which was free as I worked for 4 hours on a Saturday some months ago. Friday was spent catching up on chores which involved moving Wifey’s office from the dining room to one of the spare bedrooms. There comes a time when a room must be decorated and I couldn’t put it off any longer. We also wanted a dining room back as we have a big table and it makes the living room feel a little cluttered.

After much sweet, some blood, no tears but a strained back the office was substantially moved. And then guess what happened. Yes, that’s right, the bloody computer system went up the spout again. It is a long and sorry tale and things are still not resolved as I speak. Apparently it revolves around the DHDP settings and some port forwarding issues. According to BT and the B-i-L it should be resolved today. I hate touching Wifey’s computers as they always seem to break when I touch then, and it’s invariably my fault!

Saturday saw some work on the house; ripping wall paper off the walls, so it was the fun stuff. And then a leisurely wander around town. Wifey had to do some work; she was interviewing a couple of candidates for one of her clients whilst I had tea and pain au chocolate in a great little coffee shop in one of the best cook shops in the whole of the land. It’s so good that even when a high class chain of kitchen shops took it over and gave it a dramatic make over they still kept the name and the original theme of the shop. It was also good as Pickle (the baby) was ogled over by numerous women. Naturally I, as a virile, hot blooded male, sired such a handsome boy!

Wifey was dressing work clothes when we meet up again after the interview, but managed to break the heal off one of her shoes so, barefooted, we set off to by new shoes. This lead to a small shopping spree. So an hour later she was transformed from business suited woman to summer dress and sandal wearing girl. I will have to point out that later in the day Wifey managed to break a strap on her new dress but I will always remember that dress fondly 

Sunday, they was more DIY in the morning followed by an afternoon of Polo at the Sussex Polo Club. It was all very refined drinking cocktails and wine and eating a superb pick nick lunch provided by the sponsors whilst watching the sport of kings. Wifey, as the other ladies present, had a change to recreate their own Pretty Woman moment* by treading in the divots at the end of the game. Mind the steaming divots!

Sunday was hot, really hot and we both got sunburned. We noticed too late that we were both going a little on the pink side, but I’m used to it by now.

Monday and it was the father in law’s birthday, so as a treat we bought him a membership to the Natural History Museum. He loved the present and so, on the 09:04 to Victoria we all headed to the capital. It has been many years since I went to the Natural History museum but I was awed by it this time as I was the last, although the dinosaur in the main hall doesn’t seem quite as big as he did last time I visited. I supposed it goes to show just how much bigger things seem when you are a child. Take Mars bars for instance! I spent Saturday and Sunday really looking forward to going to the museum and I wasn’t disappointed.

The highlight had to be when Wifey saw the sign for the fossil display and said “oh look, we could goes and see the fossils” to which I replied, we don’t need too, we bought the old fossils with us”. The mother in law did eventually see the funny side…..

*I have the photos to prove it and I am debating if I should post it here as I have a shot that doesn’t show her face….

Elderly Parents

2007-08-28T15:36:00.000Z

I’ve not got much time, but today, a day that started out so easily and gently (one of the perks of my job) has taken a rapid descent. My father is 75 and has, over the last two years, been getting poorly. He was diagnosed in June with heart failure. Since he want back after his last visit down south he has not stepped out of the house, except to be collected by and ambulance to take him to and fro from the hospital.

He lives 200 miles away and it’s not easy to get up north on a Friday night to see him for the weekend. We make have to take him in with us, which is obviously not ideal.

A myriad of other problems which make the situation more difficult one of which being that he made some very inappropriate comments to my sister in law (even on her and my brothers wedding day). She is black and my brother and I are white (very white and my sunburn this weekend proves that!) and my father does not believe in mixed marriages. Strangely enough she does not want to see or speak to him and, as a consequence, my brother (who lives locally to him) visits very infrequently.

A difficult time.

Numb Brain

2007-08-21T15:29:00.000Z

I was going to write a really intellectual post about Learco Chindamo, the killer of Philip Lawrence, and that I believe the ruling of the deportation appeals tribunal to be correct but I’ve just been in a five hour long meeting with one of my bosses and I can’t be bothered to think anymore.

Feel free to disagree on my point of view as I haven’t put up a rational and reasoned argument, my only defence is that I believe we should be looking at the length of his sentence and not the fact he goes back to a country he has not know since he was only five years old.

My Colin Firth Moment.

2007-08-20T12:07:00.000Z

I still haven’t finished off recounting my holiday on a day-by-day basis as yet, but I’m not in the right frame of mind at the moment.

I’m pre-occupied with the trial and tribulations of my everyday life at the moment. I finally finished the spare room, although there are a couple of snags that I’ve got to remedy. It was all a little deflating in the end as the room isn’t as big as I thought it was. I’m sure I’d measured everything accurately (what with being an engineer and everything) but alas no. The room is too small to fit the side table by the bed I had envisaged so the double bed takes up a large proportion of the room.

Wifey and I went in to Crawley on Saturday afternoon to go to B&Q and to pick up some curtains. The day was not good, I don’t like Crawley at the best of times, but they do have an excellent shop that sells decent curtains at bargain prices and the B&Q has a better choice than my local Homebase. We decided to park at B&Q and walk in to the town centre but it drizzled on the way in and Wifey got her hair wet (which is a major concern to most of the ladies out there) and looked a little on the drowned rat side. She was not a happy girl.

A little of a weekend ritual is our weekend coffee shop stop and Saturday was no exception. The Costa in Crawley has the best Barrista I have ever seen working there. The man is lightening quick and always makes a great Mocha! I like to watch people who are both good at their job and take a pride in their work. This man certainly does. As does the lady who helped us choose our curtains; she was so good I am tempted to write to her head office and tell them how good she was.

When it was time to go home I, like a true gentleman, offered to go and get the car and pick Wifey up from the town centre. I got soaked to the skin and turned up to collect Wifey with my shirt stuck to my skin (although I don’t think I had the same effect as Colin Firth when he started wandering around in a wet shirt).*

Sunday came and the baby, henceforth known as Pickle, was being an absolute pain in the arse! More decoration to the spare room was undertaken followed by our weekly trip to Brighton to let some paint dry. I love Brighton and would happily move there but Wifey wouldn’t. It’s only 20 minutes away I love the atmosphere there and a stroll on the sea front always cheers me up. I love it in the winter and the sea is fierce, Wifey, like to be inside in the warm, next to an open fire.

Back home and Pickle and I fought over his dinner. I could have cheerfully sold him in to slavery yesterday…….. It was then non stop until 8pm when Pickle was in bed and food and wine were on the table. Oh, and I watched Hot Fuzz on DVD. I loved it and it even made Wifey chuckle. So we can both recommend it.

Now Monday is here and it’s back to work. I am meeting with one of my two bosses tomorrow. Not the big one though as he is on holiday, but all the same I have to run around ensuring everything is ‘ship shape’.

I doubt I’ll be able to post tomorrow, but may be more on Wednesday.

*I wish I'd written the post after I'd thought of the title - I might have made more of my Colin Firth moment....

Do you want the good news or the bad news?

2007-08-17T09:53:00.001Z

Well, I’ve just had the dreaded phone call. I was right. I don’t have the relevant experience and I really bombed on my numerical reasoning test. Although, on a positive note, my verbal reasoning test was described as ‘excellent’.

I knew this was going to be the case. Please don’t call me pessimistic, I am a realist. I read the situation well and knew they were looking for someone that was doing the same job already.

However……

Apparently I made a really good impression and they would like to consider me for another role within the organisation. The role actually pays less than my current salary, but it would mean future career prospects. We talked about salary and the Director in charge is going to have a think about it and get back to me in a couple of weeks.

Yet again I have my fingers crossed.

This period of my life, abreviated

2007-08-16T12:17:00.000Z

I still haven’t finished telling you all about the holiday yet, but time is short at the moment.

By day I have to work and by night I have a house to renovate, a baby to look after and then hopefully some me time veged out on the sofa with Wifey and a cat or two. Tonight I’ll be under coating the wood work in one of the bedrooms, so that’ll be 8 pm by the time I’ve finished and washed my brush, they I’ll have to clean my self up, tidy the house and sit down for something to eat about 9, just in time to watch House.

Nothing much interesting is happening at work at the moment, nothing to really get my teeth into, just mundane stuff that I don’t enjoy and as a consequence, not very good at. I keep flitting back to the fact that I should hear on Friday if I’ve made it through to the next round of the interview process of the potential new job.

I’d love to say things will be different soon, but no. After the bedroom I’m going to have to move Wifey’s office from the dinning room to one of the spare bedrooms and then start decorating the dinning room (which is currently wall papered in pink flock). Working in construction things will take time to change at work also (unless I get the new job)

I may post more later but I’m just off to read a Housing Strategy Document… What fun.

The Assessment Centre

2007-08-15T11:44:00.000Z

Yesterday I went to an Assessment Centre for a new job.

I think that, although the day was difficult, I have two advantages over the other candidates
1) I turned up on time
2) I turned up at all

Yes, That’s right of the six people supposed to be attending, one was on holiday, two dropped out the day before and of the three of us left one arrived an hour and three quarters late and the other four and three quarter hours late.

The company who were doing the interviewing were not amused. I stopped over night in a hotel nearby and arrived promptly at 8:45am. I am so good sometimes.

I will find out on Friday if I have been invited to the next stage of the assessment process. I have many positive things going for me but there are a couple of negatives. Firstly I don’t work in the industry in which they operate. I work on the periphery of this industry and the type of company I have gone for a job with are normally my customers. In short I understand what they do it’s just that I don’t have all the technical skills to actually do it. However, at this level of the job I would have a team of people who can do the technical stuff for me.

Secondly, I really bombed out on my numerical reasoning test. I had a small mental breakdown. My brain just gave up and went home. It wanted to take me with it, right out of the door across the car park into my car and them home. I had to will my self to stay seated and try and concentrate. I then sat a verbal reasoning test and I think I did OK on that one.

So we’ll just have to wait and see what Friday brings. I have to say though that I have my doubts that they will want to take me forward. I don’t think that I’m quite at the level they want at the moment.

I still have my fingers crossed in hope.

Monday, Monday.

2007-08-13T13:09:00.001Z

I am sat here all alone in the office as my colleague has a day off today and I’m nervous about tomorrow.

I have loads off things to do, but I just can’t concentrate; there’s a lot riding on tomorrow and it could be another couple of years before I get a chance like this one again without having to move home.

I’ve practiced some more tests and thought about some answers to the competency based questions they may ask me, but I just can’t concentrate. I’m just hoping my concentration has returned by tomorrow morning.

Wifey has an assignment on tomorrow which involves a full day of public speaking, She’s nervous too.

We’re like a family of worry warts.

I’ll try and update on Wednesday, but my poor brain may not be up to it; Wish me luck!

More on the Holiday.

2007-08-10T13:41:00.000Z

So back to the holiday. I may have finished regaling you with tales of the last holiday before I go on the next…. Just.

Anyway, you’ve heard about the Saturday and the Sunday; now I shall tell you about Monday. On the Monday we went to Padstow, also know as Padstein as most of it now seems to be owned by Mr Rick Stein. When I was a child we holidayed in Padstow a number of times. We camped and then caravanned at a campsite at the top of the hill overlooking the town. All very basic stuff, just a filed and a hole in the ground dug every few days to empty the chemical toilet in to. Those were the days!

Wifey and I got their early (by our standards anyway) about 10am. This turned out to be a master stroke as we parked in the car park closest to the town. When we left about 1pm, there was not a car parking space to be found in the entire town.

Padstow is a beautiful fishing town that surrounds a working fishing harbour and it used to be an undiscovered gem. When Wifey and I visited it appeared to have been discovered by the masses. They were bussing them in by the coach load to eat pasties overlooking to harbour. To be fair, I can see why. The locals (and not so locals) have capitalised on this fact and are catering (literally) for the tourists. An interesting biography of Mr Stein can be found by following the link Welcome to Rick Stein Seafood. It really is worth a look. Someone has spent far more time, effort and money researching Padstow than I.

As it is an overriding requirement to feed the baby, almost constantly it seems, we headed to a café so we could get the bottle warmed. We managed to do so (credit to the establishment) and had a cup of tea and a slice of cake each. The food was good, but the service exceedingly slow and muddled. After the bottle stop we headed out for a walk around the harbour. We found a gallery and admired the art work (Wifey and I collect modern art) but the painting we liked was £800 for an original oil, which is beyond our budget at the moment. We settled for a printed montage of the artists canvases for £12 instead. According to Wifey it’s destined for the downstairs loo!

At the outer breakwater we saw a couple of speed boats plying their trade for the tourists. I noted that the boat ‘Jaws’ had been the boat my brother, father and I had been the same one we enjoyed 20 odd years ago. Some things just don’t seem to change. We stopped a while and took in the scenery; we also took a great number of photos while we were playing around with our shiny new SLR. When we downloaded them later there were some great shots and on particularly of note were Wifey had managed to capture two sailing boats moored up with their perfect reflection in the water.

We decided to more on and head for Newquay for lunch. The drive over was interesting and we passed Jamie Oliver’s 15 restaurant, but didn’t stop. We got to Newquay and were so disappointed we didn’t even stop. Sorry folks but I thought it was a dump. We stopped in a car park and fed the baby, which was messy, and moved on to another National Trust place that appear to be just around the corner. It was and two cream teas were promptly demolished. Trerice is a wonderful old house. Go and look at it here;

That was pretty much Monday of the holiday. Anyway soon I shall do Tuesday and on Tuesday we went to the Eden Project. But know I have just had an email telling me about my assessment centre. It’s being held in a hotel on a costal spit that is renowned as being the most expensive real estate in the world. I am also entitled to claim expenses and an overnight stay if I so wish. Having read the itinerary for the day I’ll need the weekend to prepare and the rest of the week off to get over the shock!

Also my best man and the God Mother of the baby are coming over for an impromptu bbq tonight. I hope you all have a great weekend and I’ll be back sometime later next week!

Motivation

2007-08-09T10:59:00.001Z

I'm really not motivated at the moment. I've been busy doing nothing. Work is one step forward and two steps back. I've blogged about the frustration I have at work before but it's getting worse and my motivation has disappeared.

Home is OK but tiring. Wifey is working long hours because the baby is being demanding (as 9 month olds tend to be). We are both quite tired and snappy.

On the upside I've been asked to apply for a new job, which I have duly done and been asked to go an assessment centre next Tuesday.

It's a bigger role than I'm doing already, but the pay reflects that. The $64,000 question is will they take me and train me or do they want someone who is doing the same job already? I suppose they wouldn't have asked me to apply if they weren't interested.

In true style I was ill in bed all weekend and Monday. I'm still tired now. Away way, back to work........

The Holiday

2007-07-30T15:50:00.001Z

Thank you to Martin for prompting me to stop doing some actual work and write some more about my holiday.

You must remember that the weather wasn’t so good the week we were away, but we did try and make the best of it.

Anyway, you’ve heard about what we did on the Saturday after we arrived in Cornwall, so now on to Sunday. We went to Lanhydrock (http://www.nationaltrust.org.uk/main/w-vh/w-visits/w-findaplace/w-lanhydrock/). Lanhydrock, for me, is in many ways the epitome of what the National Trust is about. I marvelled at the magnificent architecture and the exquisitely manicured lawns. We took some stunning landscape shots of the property, but none as good as the ones on the National Trust website.

Most of our days out were, and still are, structured around feeding times, so it wasn’t long before we needed to feed the baby. Wifey and I both had a Cornish pasty in the restaurant, which was delicious. Baby had his baby food, but, as usual, we couldn’t get the food microwaved as the NT Health and Safety policy forbids catering staff from heating baby food. This incenses me and I may blog a separate post about that subject another time.

After lunch we toured around the house which, as usual, was superb. The kitchens were a sight to behold. Photography was not allowed inside the house, not that I have a flikr account anyway.

After Lanhydrock we drove onwards to Mevagissy. We passed the first car park thinking we’d find something a little closer to the town, but after a very tight squeeze though the town we ended up back at the first car park we came to. Our visit had started badly as driving through Mevagissy is a traumatic experience and our oversized estate car was a leviathan to manoeuvre through the implausibly narrow streets. When we arrived back at the car park, the attendant was overtly rude. I parked very close to the attendant and he was rude to every single motorist that entered the car park. It surprised me a little as we, the motorists, were collectively paying his wages. I don’t think he liked tourists very much…..

We disembarked from the car and loaded everything up; buggy, baby, changing bag, camera, Wifey’s handbag, coat for the baby, coats for us, blanket for the baby, and set of for the town. We negotiated the narrow streets, which, even without the car, was still almost as problematic. Tourists, buggies, cars and locals all in a narrow street does not make for harmony.

We arrived at the harbour only to find a fish stall serving what we thought was fresh cockles and muscles. Wifey was just about to get some cockles when the person serving restocked the display with frozen ones from Tesco! We didn’t have any cockles that day…

A rainy trip around the harbour ended with a cream tea in a dockside coffee house, which, was surprisingly good. We had expected a poor quality tourist rip off, but we needed somewhere to feed the baby. What we found was a good quality, reasonably priced coffee house who were only to happy to accommodate us, the baby and the buggy. And they warmed his bottle with no fuss what so ever.

A brisk drive home in time for another feeding time and that, my dear readers is what happened on my 36th birthday.

Not such an easy day

2007-07-26T11:45:00.001Z

Due to my predition that Wednesday would be an easy day I finally arrived home at about 7pm.

The boss was in a good mood, but he did have some probing questions that I wasn't able to answer to his satisfaction. Hoh Hum! That's why he's the boss and not me I suppose.....

I really must write more about the holiday; and I will do. I'll have a think this afternoon, in between reading a rather large Green Paper from the DCLG.

Wifey and I invested in a good quality digital SLR a few months ago and we are trying to develop our skills in photography. I must investigate Flikr to see how to put some piccies up there for others to enjoy.

Wednesday

2007-07-24T15:53:00.000Z

Two posts in one day! You lucky people.

I won't be around tomorrow as I've been summond to HQ at the last minute. Hopefully nothing I've done wrong! However it does mean a much shorter day. Gerenally I'll catch the train by about 9am and wander in to town, have a coffee and meet the big boss around 11. We'll normally have a spot of lunch and by 3 I'll be on the train home.

I like the occasional trip into Westmisnter where HQ is, but it always depends on my bosses mood. Lets hope he's in a good mood tomrrow!

The holiday, abreviated

2007-07-24T10:22:00.000Z

Life is very humdrum at the moment. I wake, have breakfast, change and feed the baby, wash and dress, hand the bay to Wifey and drive to work. Work is predictably boring. I drive home again, do chores, put the baby to bed, have tea and watch TV.

However, on holiday we had time to ourselves. This is the second holiday we have been on with the baby. He was 3 months old when we took him to Spain. He was easier to handle then, but he was a bouncing seven months old during the holiday in Cornwall. If he’s not happy he’ll let you know.

Seven months seems to be a nice age. He’s interactive and I get to spend about 2 hours of quality time with him everyday. He’s into everything at the moment. He also learnt this morning that if you upset our very old tom cat he’ll nip your fingers and hiss at you!

We stopped in a cottage neat Launceston which is to the Eastern end of Cornwall. Launceston is not what you would call a picturesque town. It is a functional market town. Don’t get me wrong. I’d rather a functional market town than a manufactured and cloned high street any day of the week. In hindsight we both felt that we would have liked to have been further west and in one of the pretty fishing villages on the coast, but money is not so free at the moment and the budget ruled.

The cottage itself was small and damp and was only one bedroom so it meant the baby had to share a room with us. Something we are not keen on. On the upside the couple who owned the cottage were friendly as was their dog. The cottage was secluded, private and quite and it did have a certain cow-shed-esque charm.

Saturday was spent procuring provisions for the week in Launceston. Wifey managed to find a lingerie shop that stoked some of her favourite brands and we spent nearly two hours in there while she tried on most of the shop and the baby crawled around the floor trying to pull bra’s off their hangers. The phase “leave those bra’s alone boy” can leave people looking at you a little strangely.

A visit to Boscastle followed and Wifey fell immediately for it’s charms. It is very picturesque but a great trip if, like me, you are a Civil Engineer. The place is awash with excavators and Portacabins whilst the flood defence work continues, and will continue for another year at least. A Cornish cram tea rounded the day off and then back to the cottage to feed the baby and put him to bed.

That’s enough for today. If I get time I’ll tell you about Sunday tomorrow.

New Cars

2007-07-23T13:24:00.001Z

Last December Wifey and I bought a new car. We need the space as we both had small city type cars and they just didn’t fit all the paraphernalia required for a baby. An estate car was duely ordered.

I set about to give the new car a thorough clean on Sunday. It’s amazing what was once pristine is now peppered with a myriad of dent’s, dings and sratches.

I can see that Wifey I’ll be wanting a new one soon….

Wednesday

2007-07-18T11:53:00.000Z

I went to Wifey's grandparent's 65th wedding anniversary last night. It was a surprise party and they were very taken aback and suitably surprised. It really is amazing to see two people who, despite their differences obviously love each other.

The grandmother had a brush with death not 3 months ago and is currently recovering from open heart surgery followed by pneumonia. Such things put your own life in to perspective. They still enjoy life in their 80's and find so much joy in their children, grandchildren and now a growing brood of great grandchildren.

The pair of them can be a royal pain in the bum at times but the family wouldn't be without them and everyone laments the time they will surely pass away.

I wonder if Wifey and I will may it to 65 years of wedded bliss?

Is any marriage wedded bliss or a suitable tolerance level sustained because the pair of you know you are better together than apart?

Also seeing this couple in their 80's also, perversly, reminded me of how fragile life can be. The grandfather survived a significant amount of actice service in African during WWII. He has only ever talked about his expeiances once in all that time. ONe of his great grand children was learning about WWII at school. He went in and, in a very dignified maner, told the children of his experiences and why war is such a bad thing. All the children were very moved and I hope it is a tale that they will always be able to recall whenever they need too. Apparently he was never the same after the war. In many respects her was a broken man with areas of his persona that remain broken to this day. I sincerely believe he has found peace after many decades.

I also saw two very serious road accidents on an extended journey home. One where a car had just collided with a tractor on a dual carriageway. The driver didn't look in a good way. As a first adier I usuallt stop, but this was on the other side of a very fast road and now where to pull over. To stop would have endagered other lives and there was also people who looked like they knew what they were doing at the scene.

The other was accident was just being cleared up as I went past. A wreked car being lifted out of a river on the side of another dual carriageway. The car didn't look good and Wifey had told me the road had been closed for some time earlier in the day. I don't know how either casualty faired but it didn't look too good from the seat of my car.

Fragile lives.......

Fastest internet cafe in the world

2007-07-12T14:23:00.000Z

Just a quick post to say the holiday down here in cornwall has been fun.

I'm posting from the BT satelite Earth Centre at Goonhilly. Apparently the have 100Mbs broadband here.

Just looking at the Boy's last post and I might bump in to him as it appears he is in Cornwall too. I have no idea who he is or what he looks like, so it may be that chap over there writing his post also....

I'm back at work Monday but It'll be hectic and I'll have to catch up with last weeks posts from my must read bloggers.

Files & Holidays

2007-07-05T12:53:00.000Z

I found the file, some one had nabbed it and taken it home to work on.

This week has been frantic, but lunch looking out to sea yesterday was a perk of the job.

No time today as I have so much work to get through before I leave tonight for a week's holiday. When I get back I'll have to cath up on loads of works so I may be gone for a while. Please don't desert me, as Arnie once siad "I'll be back"

Reports and files

2007-07-02T15:39:00.000Z

I’m supposed to be writing reports today. I’ve done one. I need to go and visit the site again for another, and I just can’t find the appropriate files for a third. I really don’t know where the files have gone….

If anyone sees them can you send them back to me? It would help me write my report, keep my boss happy and if he’s happy, I’ve still got a job.

I’m really annoyed, but I’m sure the hour’s drive home around the M25 should calm me some what!

One night last week

2007-07-02T08:37:00.000Z

Since my Old Dad has been stopping with us Wifey and I’s social life has taken a dramatic upturn. He informed Wifey yesterday that we have one more ‘pass–out’* before he goes back home on Saturday evening. We were just busy planning another naughty night out at our local when Wifey’s middle sister phones after having some bother at work.

Wifey is very highly qualified and also quite widely experienced in HR for her tender years and so naturally she was the one to help. The tale is a torrid one, and it took a little longer than Wifey had expected to calm her sister and help her draft some letters. The baby goes to bed just before eight so we’d hoped to get away from home just after, but we finally arrived at the pub just after nine.

“It gives us 2 hours to get phished in” I said. “Huh, 2 hours is not a long time to get phised in honey pie” she replied. “Don’t tell me we could neck two bottles of wine each in the next 2 hours without even trying” I asked. “Good point” she replied, “now shut up and get the orders in”

To be fair we didn’t have anywhere near 2 bottles each to drink and the conversation was flowing more freely than the wine.

Towards closing time, the two girls on a table opposite us started to have some in depth mobile phone conversations with culminated in one of the girl’s irate boyfriends making an appearance at their table. To calm the situation down the girls sent her boyfriend away and, because they were both a little scared, they came to sit with Wifey and I.

They were interesting to talk to and it make me realise that in the 15 years since I was that age (and the age of the irate boyfriend) I have matured so much as man. 15 years ago I would have done stupid things like making a scene in public (even 5 years ago!) but now I am able to sit back and see the bigger picture.

We talked long past closing time and when we were finally thrown out they appeared a little nervous about the possibility that irate boyfriend would be outside waiting for them. We offered to walk them home. As predicted, Irate boyfriend was indeed waiting and did try and cause a scene, but, after a few quite words, that were not threatening I hasten to add, he backed off, but still he followed us and the two girls home.

We saw the girls safely to the door, told them to lock it, go to bed and ignore the irate boyfriend. After this, we walked home ourselves. I hope everything works out for the girls concerned, speaking as outsider, she deserved better.

*The phraseology you’d expect from a military man

Midweek

2007-06-27T11:52:00.000Z

Hopefully I’m getting a little back in to the habit of blogging, I do enjoy it and I, like most others I assume, find it rewarding when people comment.

With my old dad still being in residence and still being as frustrating as usual is causing Wifey’s and I’s tempers to be a little frayed. We had another row on Monday night but we are speaking again now. What is helping is that my dad is babysitting, so last night we went to dinner with some new friends. I don’t make friends easily so it is always a rare treat to find new ones.

Thanks to D&E for dinner last night and the interesting conversation, oh and the wine of course.

Fathers Day

2007-06-25T15:20:00.000Z

My old dad lives nearly 200 miles away from where Wifey and I now live. I am originally from the North Midlands and now live within striking distance of the South Coast. This means that when I see my dad it’s invariably for at least a week at a time. I love my old dad but after a few days he drives Wifey and I balmy.

He is, at the moment, stopping for a fortnight. However, last Thursday night we discovered something really quite amazing. We have a live in babysitter. So we went to meet a friend last Thursday (albeit a day late and hence no friend there to meet!). So we went home, parked the car, and without stopping turned on our heals to the local pub. It was great. We had a whale of a time and had a chance to really talk. We got home and promptly hot footed it to the bedroom.

On Friday night, like a couple of dating teenagers, asked the old boy if he’d baby-sit and darted of to the pub again, this time for a bit to eat as well. After another night of non stop talking we left at closing time, walked home and again hot footed it to the bedroom.

The weekend was a bit of a wash out and ended on Sunday with a row over the decoration of our spare bedroom. We drove home in silence and exchanged glowering looks when we got in, so I want to paint and she went to feed the baby and prepare tea. I have found out that you can’t be angry and paint wood work. Wifey apologised, I mumbled an apology back (which is quite good for me). I normally stay in a mood for days but in 10 minutes we were back to being happy together again.

So thanks for baby sitting dad, even though he’ll never read this as the technology of computers is a little beyond him.

Even though Wifey and I have a strong relationship it has taken a battering recently, what with the baby, the new house and its associated financial pressures and pressure at both of our work places. We are planning two trips to the pub this week. I think it’ll do our relationship some good.

It's been a while

2007-06-21T14:45:00.000Z

It was been a while since I’ve written anything here. I think the last post kind of gave the game away a little. I’ve been quite stressed about all sorts of things, but mainly work. When I took this job there were two fundamental parts to it. One which I am very comfortable with, and one which I knew very little about. I knew the idea but not even the principle.

I am comfortable running construction projects of various types, under various forms of contract and acting as both contractor and now as a client. What I’m not familiar with is planning (who is?). My employers knew this when they hired me as I was up-font about it in my interview. I am in a fairly fortunate position where I can be honest with a potential employer as quite often it’s as much about finding out if I want to work for them as they finding out if they want me to work for them. Are you still with me on this?

Anyhow since working for the organisation I am predominantly working on planning and this is way outside my ‘comfort zone’. I don’t feel I get adequate direction which makes me feel as though I’m floundering around and going now where fast. This is not good for my moral as I’m OK with being outside of my comfort zone but I like to mix it with stuff in my comfort zone to help reassure me that I’m doing a good job. Feeling like I’m doing a good job is important to me and at the moment I don’t feel like I’m doing that well.

Hence I’m feeling stressed and unmotivated.

However this job does have some compensations, I just need to try and look on the bright side (which I don’t find easy when I’m feeling crap about myself). I was offered another job this week and I was sorely tempted. Two upsides. It’s working with a former colleague who I like and respect. The pay is really good. Two down sides. It’s in central London. The company has a 12 hour a day culture.

Stress.

2007-05-23T12:53:00.000Z

I don’t know what is in the air but most of the people I know, both friends and people I work with, are stressed at the moment. To protect those innocents I shall not divulge any circumstances involved. I can of course talk about Wifey & I.

My job is middle to senior management level but I do not have any direct staffs as all those I am responsible for are contractors or consultants. There is only the big boss above me. I have the power to change many things but equally do not have the power to change some incredibly minor things. I also do not have the power to change the culture of the organisation. I truly want to help and to do what’s best but find it demoralising and a little stressful when I am overruled.

That said, for the most part I like my job. I just think I could be doing much better.

Wifey is stressed as her new IT system is not quite there yet. It’s much closer following a trip to the centre of operations by B-i-L last night. However, BT have a problem with the broadband, a problem that is going over the heads of their support guys and is now being referred to the techies. Also a vital piece of software is not yet installed and there are still a couple of compatibility issues and some ‘OK this is a new system, what do we do with it?’ issues.

Her being stressed stresses me. I am powerless to help yet I get the grief because I am the one that she can actually moan, snap and shout at. It’s difficult for me to accept but she has to vent her anger and stress on someone and that someone is me.

So I say to me friends and work associates “Here’s looking forward to everyone calming down and becoming a little happier before the end of June.” *raises large glass of wine, pauses and then takes a rather large gulp*

Mind the Gap

2007-05-21T15:02:00.000Z

Mind the gap. The one you step over when you leave work and start your commute home. That gap that you drop all you work stresses, worries and other daily accumulated baggage in to and pick up your home joys, troubles and other accoutrements.

Do any of you have any troubles with avoiding the gap and taking work stuff home and home stuff to work? I am guilty of this and if Wifey had a gap between her office and home then the house would fall down, what with working from home and the like.

Work is bound to impact on your personal life. Without work you wouldn’t be able to pay the mortgage (with the exception of a few). What would you fill your day with? What worth would you put on yourself? Having been out of work for a year once and an emotional wreck there came a point were I took the first job available to me. I worked in a laundry, which as it happened suited my needs down to the ground and I stayed there for two years.

Are you doing well enough in your career? Am I earning enough? Are our friends more successful than us? Do our bosses think we do a good job? Are we valued by our colleagues? Did I make the right decisions last ---------? (fill in the blank as appropriate)

Wifey works for herself and her success, income and value changes on a monthly basis. All of these factors lead to the stress and strain of everyday living. I know I am a nicer person when I’m on holiday and, just like The Boy over at Boy on Top, when I’m leaving a job. That great time when your responsibility diminishes in your old job and you’re in your honeymoon period in your new job. A time when all the stress can wash straight over you. As I said folks; Mind the Gap, Mind the Gap

Wifey & the Server

2007-05-16T10:23:00.001Z

Wifey is not a happy girl. For the past two weeks she has had a cold, the baby has been demanding, the server has been/being slightly problematic, she has two bad debts and an insurance company who can’t decide if she’s properly qualified for her to work on their insured’s legal case.

AFC 30K is keeping his head below the parapet.

Someone let me know when it’s safe to come out.

The IT Man Cometh II

2007-05-15T14:22:00.001Z

In fact he didn’t leave until nearly 11pm on Sunday. I’m sure he just stopped for Wifey’s cooking. The server is working and so is the desk top. The laptop and the PDA don’t work with the server just yet. Oh, and the back up isn’t quite there but I have a theory on why that’s not working.

I could help Wifey with the IT (just the very basics you understand) however she glowers at me with the unsaid acknowledgement that I screwed up her PC in the first place. To be fair to me I was only trying to defragment the hard drive as it had quite a bit of stuff on it. The problem arose when the hard drive died and the back ups set up by her ‘IT consultant’ (not B-i-L) had stopped working 6 months previously.

After watching B-i-L for most of the weekend I now realise that there is no way on God’s earth that I would have been able to install the server… I’ve only just learnt about static IP addresses.

Anyway, if you’re reading B-i-L, thanks a lot for giving up your entire weekend to help out your little sister!

The IT Man Cometh

2007-05-12T20:42:00.000Z

IT. You think by me having a blog and everything I’d know a thing about IT. I Don’t*. I know less than Jack Shit. Yet today the house is being networked. I now have a shiny new server. It’s not actually shiny, more of a matt black, but it is new and it is a server. It’s powerful, really powerful.

I now you’re thinking ‘if he knows nothing about IT what’s he doing with a server?’ Well, Wifey needs it for her business so she roped her brother to sort it all out. Now he does now a think or two about IT but it’s nearly 10pm and he’s been at it since 11am. I mean, honestly people, how long does it take to install a server and rebuild two pc’s…

* The design of the blog should tell have told you something….

That Was the Week That Was.

2007-05-11T16:57:00.000Z

Well what a week. Last weekend was our son’s christening. This roughly translates in to a mad frantic house clean and tidy (It took a whole day this time(we’re not that dirty it’s just we’ve only been in the house 6 months)) and get together with lots of friends and family and just for good measure a little dose of stress.

I really loved the baptism. Junior when to sleep straight after he’d been dunked in the font and didn’t grumble one little bit. The house looks a lot better too. There’s nothing like ‘a bit of a do’ to spur Wifey and I on to actually doing stuff to the house.

The fattened calf was procured for the bbq after the baptism which meant we had to have another bbq on Monday to made some headway in to the mountain of food Wifey and the Mother-in-law had laid on.

Tuesday and Wednesday were spent on site. This is a rare treat for me these days as I don’t often see anything beyond my computer screen. I locked horns with a couple people on site and enjoyed it (it was purely business and absolutely nothing personal, in fact I have a great respect for both guys). It got the blood flowing, cleared some cobwebs and it was back amongst the ‘muck & bullets’. It reminded me that I do actually build stuff for a living. I fact it showed me just how much influence I have on a project these days. It also showed me whose fault it is if you miss details. There were some details missed but I count theme as learning experiences and I’ll pay closer attention to these areas in the future.

I took Thursday off to help Wifey with her business in the morning and went with her to her mothers meeting. I call them the Coven as they are always plotting something, I’m sure mainly against the men in their lives! Fortunately one of the other fathers works odd shifts so at least there was other male company.

As for today, as soon as I got to the office I was summoned in to head office in central London. So by the time I got there, there was time for a quick meeting, some lunch and a continuation of the meeting and then back home. Made some calls, reworked a spreadsheet and wrote this post.

I blinked and the week was over!

Have a good weekend and I’ll be back on Monday.

A challenge.

2007-05-03T15:48:00.000Z

I get bored very easily and I need to be challenged in my professional life. Whilst I am a middle manager I’m not yet at the top of my profession. I’m not often heard saying this, but, I’m not perfect. This means I need a structure in which to work and I need to be managed effectively to bring out the best in me. Whilst financial recompense is important in a job it isn’t the be all and end all I need someone, once in a while, to pat me on the back and say “good job”.

In my current position I don’t feel challenged I have no rules. I can, more or less, do what I want, when I want, as long as I deliver the goods. No one ever tells me I’ve done a good job, but they are quick to jump in and tell me when I’ve done something wrong. This leads me to be quite despondent at times; the crux is that I do actually like my job

Today I’ve been bored and it’s not been an inspiring day. It has made me want to move jobs again. I tend to move jobs every 2 or 3 years but I’ve only been here 7 months and moving now would look feckless on my part. But there is still something in my head querying where my career is going “stop languishing in this place and find something fresh”. But, job hunting for me is tortuous is there are two contradicting elements within me, one that tells me I’m great at my job and I could do this job standing on my head. There other element sits on my shoulder and tells me that I’m useless and I just blag my way out of difficult situations and why would anyone want to employ me.

But remember I really like my job and the people I work with.

Still, tomorrow’s Friday and it’s a bank holiday weekend. I shall share a drink with friends, toast absent friends and spend time with my family. Summer is starting, our first summer as more than a couple.

Frustration

2007-05-01T15:51:00.000Z

There are many things in ones life that can lead a chap to be frustrated. For instance; your team loosing at home, friends who are more successful than us, rejection when chatting up a girl, however;

There is nothing quite like spending quality time with your partner, spending a nice evening together, a cuddle and a smooch on the sofa, some nice pillow talk and then the imminent promise of sweet intimacy* only to have your ardour dashed by your partner coming out in an allergic rash and then proceed to itch not stop for the next hour whilst saying “you don’t mind if I’m not in the mood now, do you?”…. No, no of course not**, I hope you feel better soon, night love.

*If I said sex in stead of intimacy do you think I'll get loads of traffic like those sex bloggers. If I do then I may have to start a sex blog, write a book, and pay off the mortgage.

**Yes I bloody well do mind and you’ll have to forgive me if I’m now a bit grumpy….