Persona

Many of may posts of late have had somewhat of a negative tone. Even in my last post I was putting myself down over the standard of my basic education.

I'm not an unhappy person. I am a realist that has seen what I think of as more than my fair share of problems in my life. I won't regain you with the many problems that I have had suffice it to say that I am still here and for the most part, still kicking.

I've told you all that I suffer from depression but when necessary it is an illness that can be controlled by drugs. I wasn't diagnosed until my mid 20's but after talking to the health professional I feel at ease with my illness. I stated to have bouts of both depress on and mania during puberty but it took a serious set of events and a knowledgeable friend to put me in touch with the medics. In short the medics believe it to be an inbalance or serotonin (the happy chemical) in my brain. Sometimes I get to much and become almost invincible. Other times I don't get enough and become embroiled in my own misery. For the most part I'm fine these days and I have learned to live with it and to recognise when I'm up, when I'm down and when I'm in equilibrium. Wifey also has learned to live with my illness and can reign me in when I'm out of balance.

It is at times a great illness to have. Being on an up is incredible. Nothing can stop me. I am the greatest! Men want to be my friend, women want to be my lover and as for work, I know how good I am and if you don't think so, who cares! Who would not want to be like that..

Being on a down is not so great - it's the great draw back of bi-polar disorder as the call it these days. Still, you can't have everything can you.

For the most part I'm, as our American cousins might say, 'a regular guy'. A guy with the normal hopes, aspirations, dreams and anxieties that other people have.

Just for the record I'm currently just a little on the high side of normal, although I have to thank Wifey for that :-)