Typos

I have reread my last post and my subsequent comment and I would like to apologise for my typos.

I did very poorly at school and got all my qualifications a little later in life. As a result my spelling, grammar and basic mental arithmetic are appalling.

Once again I offer my humble apologies and thank you for your visit.

Thursday

I have yet to decide what I am going to write. I just want to write something.

Work has been hectic recently but not in a good way - I love the pressure of a job, a job that you can do, do well and are well supported by the team around you. A good team is one that is supportive of all it's members what ever their status. I have a great team below me and along side me, my only grip is the team above me.

I'm sure that that is a common complaint of many managers - the guys below they are useless, they don't do what they are told when they are told to do it. My management style is somewhat different to that. I believe that if the team below me fails then it is something that I have done wrong. I've not directed them properly, given unclear instructions, not defined the results that I want or given an unrealistic deadline.

I now people enjoy working with me. I like to refer to it as that as I want all the members of the team included in the process. Give them involvement, purpose and recognition and people will work hard and diligently for you.

Yet, at the moment I am not being managed well. I am given unclear directions, unrealistic timescales and not made to feel worth while. A good shouting tongue lashing or a brusque email is considered to be a motivational tool at my work place.

I have not been here long enough to have secure employment rights so I must keep my mouth closed. I can not speak out yet speaking out is what I do.

It makes for an unhappy work place and no matter how you try to keep your work and home life separate they invariably affect one another.

I suffer from depression and have done since puberty. I have had some dark times and some very manic bouts. Times when I have just wanted to destroy everything around me. I have been free from medication for nearly two years yet I find my mind being drawn to depressive thoughts. I try hard to be mentally stronger and for the most part I am succeeding but at the moment it is a battle so please excuse me if my post are a little dark at the moment - it is a form of release that is far better than taking it out on those around me.

In Brief

In brief, or should that be briefs?

Work is very busy and the boss is being a bit of a pain. Something along the line of 'today you will paint the grass purple' When the grass is duly painted the response is 'but I told you it was to be yellow, no why haven' you don't it' I have an email but protesting does no good.

I didn't get the Olympics, but to be honest 2 1/2 hours commute each way was never going to be something I would enjoy.

Regarding the original job I went for yada yada yada, we are talking money, car allowance and precise job remit - I am meeting the regional director. Bizarre really as I started at one down from the top and I'm gradually working my way down the list of seniority.

Wifey is working hard and her business is really starting to step up a gear.

Its 7:15pm and I must sign off to feed the baby and put him to bed.

I have a tension headache

I'm Alive

I am still alive, however, for a change I am very busy.

Work has been a little manic and will continue to be so. Home life is demanding and at times challenging.

The baby has been ill again, as have I.

I went to the Olympics people today to talk about a job. They are a really impressive bunch of people and they have a date to stick too...

The view was pretty impressive from the Olympics offices in Canary Wharf.

May be they'll hire me, may be they won't.

I will keep you posted even if it is a little infrequently.

Also, in the last post I itimated a screaming good sex session and I only got 4 comments and one of those was from Wifey - I think I'll leave the sex blogging to The Girl.

Please do check back as I will continue to post, it's just that life is getting in the way at the moment.

A Bedroom Fantasy

Well, here I am, at home, with the baby round my feet and Wifey setting at the desk to my right; I’m not sure if this working from home lark is all it’s cracked up to be.

It was an interesting weekend all told. Firstly one of Wifey’s bedroom fantasies came true.

At just after 11pm on Saturday night, a strange and good looking, man entered Wifey's bedroom. She was already in bed waiting for his arrival. Wifeys pulse was racing as the stranger talked softly and calmly to her. He was obviously educated and had a commanding air of authority to him. He talked some more and she listen intently, hanging on his every word. The stranger climbed on to Wifey’s bed and gently, but authoritatively, rolled her over. He pulled her knickers to one side and Wifey began to bite the pillow waiting for what was to come. When it finally did come, she bit the pillow hard and yelped weakly through her clenched teeth.

“Well that should help ease the vomiting” the on-call doctor said.

“Thank you Doctor” said Wifey.

I’ll post some more tomorrow.

An update

I actually wanted to post about a few things during the course of this week;

about the trip Wifey and I took on Sunday to Nymans Gardens, although I didn't take my camera so no photos.

About my first time out unsupervised as and Advance Motorists Observer.

Of the fact that all three of us are still a little on the ill side and just can't seem to shift it.

About the fact I have taken up my evening running again now my decoration duties have subsided a little.

About Sunday night.

About the fact I am now running around like a blue arsed fly being busy at work.

But, I really don't have the time or the inclination to post this week.

Tomorrow I'm moving offices and the new office isn't ready yet so I'll have to work from home for a week or two.

More soon and may be a photo or two....

Busy, Busy, Busy

Whilst I am not exactly globetrotting like The Boy, or appearing on Radio 4 talk shows like The Girl or having babies like Slavadore at Smaller than Life or Ally at Ducking For Apples I have been busy on business and getting ready for a baby.

I’d better just put the record straight; I’ve not been getting ready for Wifey and I’s baby… We already have one of those thank you very much. We have been getting ready for our friends, D&V’s baby. She, for we know (at least we think we know) it is a girl, will be born today at Worthing Hospital by Caesarean Section. We had lunch with D&V on Saturday when we happened to meet each other just outside the Little Black Olive. If you every visit Horsham and want a decent little non chain owned coffee shop then the LBO is for you. It’s just round the corner from Macdonalds…..

Dad to be can’t stop smiling at the prospect of being a dad; Mum to be is a little on the nervous side. Anyway, D,V & baby MJ I hope everything goes well today.

As for Busy, Busy, busy, we are in the process of moving offices. Not just within the building, but to a different building and a different county. I’ll now be working in only the next county as opposed to the next but one as I do now. It’ll be only 20 minutes from home, which is better than the days when I used to work near Lewisham and still lived in Horsham


We are also coming up for the time of year when we need to submit bids for funding to the Housing Corporation (A government Quango) and that also follows internal budgets for the next financial year.

Anyway I must press on…

Still Hoping

The job role wasn't quite what I was expecting...

I honestly don't know whether or not I could do the job and that concerns me. The guys I met seemed Ok and I think I could get on with them but you never really know unitil the chips are down.

I'm getting a little wobbly... I am just jumping to get out of my current job or is it a fear of the unknow which is concerning me.

They are also talking to someone else so they may not even offer my the job.

Work went from nothing to high pressure crisis managemenet yesterday. A crisis I had predicted would happen but was not in my power to control. Never the less I am caught up with it and I won't come out smelling of roses whilst the culpret will.

Humph!

Days of Hope & Glory

Today is a day of hope. I am meeting yet another set of people form a perspective employer; those of the Assessment Centre fame. This will be the third set of people I have met in connection with this organisation. These people would be by direct manager and his boss.

They wouldn’t keep coming back to me if they we’re interested, so I am hopeful something will come of this meeting. My gloomy mood has been lifted by the prospect of the meeting today.

So that’s the hope; In terms of glory, isn’t it a glorious day outside!

I left the house early this morning has I had to drop Pickle of at the nursery and then do battle with both the M23 and M25 yet today I was calm. Even the post school holiday traffic was bearable; I simply consciously applied by Advanced Driving techniques and whilst I drove did a running commentary as a little brush up. When I turned off the motorway the A roads were actually quite pleasant. The sun was flickering through the trees and highlighting the magnificent countryside around me.

We won’t mention that Wifey is having a rubbish day; she’s forgot to go to a meeting (although not that important she attend anyway), she’s fallen downstairs spilling coffee over her clean suit and my newly decorated walls, not to mention the freshly shampooed carpets. Wifey bruises very easily as she’s on some stiff medications so by tonight she’ll be black and blue (and purple and yellow and violet…….)

A Tale of Life and Death

I was mulling over what I shoould post today when I went to Random Acts of Reality and read this post.

http://randomreality.blogware.com/blog/_archives/2007/9/13

It points you to three other bloggers who have posted about their experience of dealing with a crash in Texas.

It takes quite a while to read all three posts but if you can spare the time then do read it. It is, at times, difficult to read but persevere as it provides as sobering message (no pun intended).

It just reminds you of what our emergency services all over the world have to face and reminds you of the respect they deserve.

Coming Clean

I have to admit that I have not actually been posting pictures of Wifey. They were of course;

i) a model I saw whilst walking around the stage at the Eden Project and

ii) a rear shot of Julia Roberts at the polo match in Pretty Woman.


Below is a picture of Wifey, and as I haven't got any fancy editing programmes, I wasn't able to blank out the face. Obviously our friends will regonise her and the view from our living room and out to our garden (those full height windows were a bitch to install.....)

So, if you see her around you'll know who she is. Tap her on the shoulder and say hi!

Ok already

So here it is!

The long awaited picture of Wifey treading divots at the polo match.

It isn't the best picture, but the other one shows too much of her face and I don't have these face editing programs to blur out the important details.

This was the last divot trod and she's now heading back to the marque where her wine is waiting.

Anyway I can't stop long today as I have another meeting to attend away from the office.

And guess what folks.... It's Friday TGIF as someone once said.

Have a good one :-)

Another Post

I was going to post a very maudlin post that I compose this afternoon. As it happens, I didn't want to post it as it was an outpouring of my my mind and it was particularly fun to read. I've mentioned often enough that I'm not happy in my work and it was just another rehash of that.

Anyway, you (and I) have been saved from that torture has we suffered a power cut and my post (being composed in Word without being filenamed) bit the dust (ether?)

I am a little happier now (I only have 40 minutes before I leave work) so I thought I'd post you a picture of Mevagissy Harbour. The image is quite small as it's not the original image, rather it's from a web album, but that's in my real name and has pictures of me and others published all over the place so I wouldn't want to direct you there now would I.

I didn't get many comments about the picture of Wifey's back so I'm guessing you don't want to see her treading divots then......(This is a shameless plug for comments as I'm feeling a bit low down here and need cheering up...)

Down Beat

I’d love to post something with a cheerful note to it today, but I had been wandering around with a dark cloud over my head for some months since I realised that this job isn’t for me. On the whole I’ve just being putting it to the back of my mind and getting on with things whilst keeping my ear to the ground for a new job. Over the past two weeks the cloud has darken and is threatening rain….

I have ‘things in the pipeline’ but nothing is certain until you actually start a new job. My lack of motivation is starting to turn in to a vicious circle or lethargy.

Roll on the weekend.

50th

To celebrate my 50th post I promised you a picture of Wifey. I did say that I would post the one of her treading divots at the polo match but I have misplaced that one. I have an inkling of where it is so I'll post it another time.

So there you go folks a picture of my beautiful wife.

Tomorrow I'll post another picture of a Cornish harbour as you all seem to like them so much....

I did say I'd get round to posting some photos. So here is one from our holiday in July to Cornwall.

This is a view in land over Padstow harbour and was taken by Wifey. I particularly like the way she has captured the reflection of the two sailing boats in the water. Also the sky is magnificent.

A memorable photo from a memorable day.

Tell Me Why I Don't Like Mondays

I am still recovering from my illness last week, although I am now back at work.

I haven’t had a chance to catch up on everyone’s blogs so far, but I will in the next week or so.

This is a time of change for me; I’m really not happy in my current job, I’m bored and there are a number of procedural issues I have with the way in which I am forced to work. So a change is called for.

I have had another phone call from the organisation I went to the assessment centre for and they are still interested – as am I. The salary isn’t as good, but I hope it’s taking me in the right direct and they seem like a good place to work, an organisation that values its employees. I’ve got the ear of two of the senior directors, I now just have to meet the senior management team I would report to. This isn’t the step from middle management, to senior management I had hoped for, but I feel that promotion is a realistic prospect.

My trouble is that I’ve started to wind down at my current job. I haven’t got a new job yet and I feel like I’m in my notice period already. My work is not at the top of my priorities during the day. I have to stop this in case I don’t get the new job, or I don’t like the team I’d be working with and have to stay in my current job a little while longer.

It’s tough – I know I should work hard, but I know it’s mostly futile.

Role on a resolution to all this.

On a less thoughtful note, I finished (with the exception of a few minor bits and bobs) the DIY project I was working on. I will have this week off from anything related to DIY. Now I have nothing to channel my energies in to perhaps I will have to take up chasing Wifey round the house……

Today I'll mostly be ill

I'm ill again with a cold. That's twice in three months. I never get ill! I even got sent home early from my meeting yesterday for fear of infecting the entire building.

Yet again when I am ill the weather is nice and I'm laid up.

Can somebody pass a tissue......

Wednesday's Post

I would really like to post everyday with some witty, well informed and erudite posts but sadly most of the time my life is not that note worthy and I lack the comic genius of others. However, I will not be able to post tomorrow as I have to go north of the river for an all day meeting.

Please think of me at around 08:00 as I'm queuing for the Dartford tunnel...

I'll be back on Thursday and the normal drivel will (work allowing) will continue.

And as for the Photo of Wifey I promised, well As I explained, I've been busy decorating. I'll hunt out the photo next week and post it up here.

The Start of Something New

I was have a pretty sparse day in terms of inspiration for a bog post when I read The Boy’s post about is children going back to school.

I never liked school, I didn’t do very well academically and for some of the time I was bullied. I left school with three CSE’s and not very good ones at that. Since that time I have put myself back through college and university and now have a good 2:1 degree in Civil Engineering. They say necessity is the mother of all invention and I needed a better job so I invented some exam results (I wasn’t bright enough to get on my original college course) and some motivation and got myself educated. I am currently in the process of persuading my employer to sponsor me to undertake and MBA.

I’m immensely proud of my achievements, although I am missing a good basic education. I can’t spell or punctuate properly and, whilst my higher maths is fine, my basic maths is appalling.

Today Pickle (the baby) started nursery. At just short of 10 months old Wifey and I thought he needed to interact with more children than the few he knows from Wifey’s informal baby group (The Coven). Nursery also helps Wifey in terms of her business; it’s hard to run a business effectively with a bouncing baby vying for every bit of attention. So off he goes to nursery. Only 2 days a week (although his granny and granddad have him on Thursdays), but it really is the start of something new; his education.

Wifey and I have been very impressed with what the nursery has to offer and a key point was that they pay close attention to the children’s development which is from nationally recognised educational and developmental standards. There are lots of other things that are impressive too, but we liked the fact his play is aimed at developing him.

His education will last him a lifetime and it’s our responsibility as parents to ensure he attends the best he is able too. Whilst not wanting to be ‘competitive dad’ I don’t want him to have to work like I had did after I had left school. I wish him to make the best possible start in life. Take it from someone that has known employment both pre and post degree, I can say is that I’m glad I did my degree.

He’s not the happiest little boy at the moment, his teeth are shooting through rapidly and he has a bit of a sniffle, so to say he is crotchety is an understatement! I hope is careers had a better day than I had a night, but above all I hope Pickle enjoys his day. I shall find out at 5:45 when I pick him up.