I went back up north on Friday night. The journey was long and you can't reason with a 1 year old who doesn't want to be strapped in his car seat.
I went to my dads on Saturday after a quick wander around Derby (It's changed a lot). What I found at my dads was horrific - Things that I won't share, things that you don't need to know - Wifey and I didn't sleep much Saturday night, the things we had seen kept us awake.
We have chosen a coffin and flowers, we all chose the same coffin and agreed on the flowers quickly. The Funeral is on Thursday.
My bother and I and our wives started to clear the house - My father was (I'm having trouble with the is/was thing) a hoarder. He has records going back to the early 50's. He didn't throw any paperwork away, not even bus tickets...... The wives went early as my S-I-L was in tears and our baby was not happy about being confined to a push chair.
Wifey did something that was truly remarkable. Something about which I can not write, but suffice to say she simply got on with the job in hand, with no fuss at all. I also undertook a job about which I can not write - he was my dad I felt it was my duty - At the time I got on with it, but now I think I can say that it was one of the worst experiences of my life (and there's been quite a few).
There is still so much of the house to sort through it will take many days of work, time that my brother and I don't have, but time we will have to find.
Right now I have to start work on the probate and working out his estate.
I am dealing with it but right now I feel like a hollow shell.
Monday, 26 November 2007
Wednesday, 21 November 2007
Dealing with it
As you may know I have been battling depression since puberty. Right now I am struggling.
The job is getting me down (i may have mentioned that once or twice before) and I have lost any enthusiasm I once had for the organisation. I have several complex issues that need to be resolved and to do that I need to talk to my boss. The only thing is that some times I seem him twice in a fortnight and the emails and phone calls are constant, the other times I hear nothing for weeks. As we work in different offices, some hours travel apart, it can be difficult to meet up, but generally the only sensible answers I get are ones during a face to face meeting.
The upshot being, why should I bother my arse with putting any effort in when I don't get any support back? I have days when I pull myself up by my boot straps and say 'it's all good experience - the more you put in to it, the more you'll get out of it' That lasts about a day when I hit on something I need to talk to him about or work that I have done is ridiculed (usually in front of others) and my mood and attitude drop to zero in a heart beat.
I work for a bully and anyone who works for a bully is bullied to some extent - Don't get me wrong, I am not the shy retiring type and a fight my corner even though he is more eloquent and fast thinking than I. But it's been grinding me down since Christmas last year. This tension combined with Wifey being stressed about her work and us both being stressed about money and the demands of bringing up a baby (I does have it's joys but the last 12 months have been tiring) has taken it's toll and I am struggling not to fall in to un-controlled depression. I know that I am depressed, but I don't want to go back on anti-depressants as they do have some unwanted side effects, I want to ride out this storm by will power alone.
Dad dieing has been a body blow, as it must be for anyone who loses a loved one - there are things that are playing on my mind and they are stopping me from sleeping soundly. The result being I am tired and lethargic and I really can't be bothered with work.
I hope there should be a contract on the door mat at home waiting for me for the new job - it's not perfect but the organisation is 533 times bigger and has a professional set of managers.
He's to being able to resign tomorrow!
Just for the record - actually knowing you're depressed is a great healer and whilst the depression affects you, you are able to sit down and try and rationalise it just like I'm doing here.
The job is getting me down (i may have mentioned that once or twice before) and I have lost any enthusiasm I once had for the organisation. I have several complex issues that need to be resolved and to do that I need to talk to my boss. The only thing is that some times I seem him twice in a fortnight and the emails and phone calls are constant, the other times I hear nothing for weeks. As we work in different offices, some hours travel apart, it can be difficult to meet up, but generally the only sensible answers I get are ones during a face to face meeting.
The upshot being, why should I bother my arse with putting any effort in when I don't get any support back? I have days when I pull myself up by my boot straps and say 'it's all good experience - the more you put in to it, the more you'll get out of it' That lasts about a day when I hit on something I need to talk to him about or work that I have done is ridiculed (usually in front of others) and my mood and attitude drop to zero in a heart beat.
I work for a bully and anyone who works for a bully is bullied to some extent - Don't get me wrong, I am not the shy retiring type and a fight my corner even though he is more eloquent and fast thinking than I. But it's been grinding me down since Christmas last year. This tension combined with Wifey being stressed about her work and us both being stressed about money and the demands of bringing up a baby (I does have it's joys but the last 12 months have been tiring) has taken it's toll and I am struggling not to fall in to un-controlled depression. I know that I am depressed, but I don't want to go back on anti-depressants as they do have some unwanted side effects, I want to ride out this storm by will power alone.
Dad dieing has been a body blow, as it must be for anyone who loses a loved one - there are things that are playing on my mind and they are stopping me from sleeping soundly. The result being I am tired and lethargic and I really can't be bothered with work.
I hope there should be a contract on the door mat at home waiting for me for the new job - it's not perfect but the organisation is 533 times bigger and has a professional set of managers.
He's to being able to resign tomorrow!
Just for the record - actually knowing you're depressed is a great healer and whilst the depression affects you, you are able to sit down and try and rationalise it just like I'm doing here.
Tuesday, 20 November 2007
My Dad
From what we know my Dad died last Tuesday night in bed. I am thankful.
My dad was hard of hearing due to tinnitus which was the product of a lifetime working in or around aircraft. He was generally excluded in a social situation because he just couldn't hear what was going on. He had been having some health difficulties since about this time last year and in the spring he was diagnosed with heart failure. He was finding mobility a struggle and had been house bound for about 4 or 5 months. He was down with us only a few weeks ago and had a good time. He loves his grandson. "you're a grand little lad" are often said whilst ruffling the boy's hair. He said to me that he was feeling much better and the 4 stone, yes 4 stone, he had lost made him feel even better, although he did say he felt like he was on his last innings.
I fully expected the old sod to live on for years to come.
I'm sure he had regrets in life, most of us do, but he got to see his two sons educated, married and settled with children. There are elements of our life's that are not perfect, but generally my brother and I are happy. So what I'm trying to say is what better way to go? He wasn't in pain, just a little tired. He had all his mental faculties although he was hard of hearing. He did not endure a long and painful illness, quite simply his heart just stopped. I was not there and I don't know if he suffered yet I feel strangely confident that he didn't. In my own mind I know he went to bed and never woke up. I feel deeply sorry that he wasn't found for 5 days and that I wasn't with him, or at least near him, when he died, but on the whole I'm sort of happy. No dementure, no stroke, no cancer. I must take all these things as a positive.
My dad was hard of hearing due to tinnitus which was the product of a lifetime working in or around aircraft. He was generally excluded in a social situation because he just couldn't hear what was going on. He had been having some health difficulties since about this time last year and in the spring he was diagnosed with heart failure. He was finding mobility a struggle and had been house bound for about 4 or 5 months. He was down with us only a few weeks ago and had a good time. He loves his grandson. "you're a grand little lad" are often said whilst ruffling the boy's hair. He said to me that he was feeling much better and the 4 stone, yes 4 stone, he had lost made him feel even better, although he did say he felt like he was on his last innings.
I fully expected the old sod to live on for years to come.
I'm sure he had regrets in life, most of us do, but he got to see his two sons educated, married and settled with children. There are elements of our life's that are not perfect, but generally my brother and I are happy. So what I'm trying to say is what better way to go? He wasn't in pain, just a little tired. He had all his mental faculties although he was hard of hearing. He did not endure a long and painful illness, quite simply his heart just stopped. I was not there and I don't know if he suffered yet I feel strangely confident that he didn't. In my own mind I know he went to bed and never woke up. I feel deeply sorry that he wasn't found for 5 days and that I wasn't with him, or at least near him, when he died, but on the whole I'm sort of happy. No dementure, no stroke, no cancer. I must take all these things as a positive.
Sunday, 18 November 2007
A Good Man
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.
Stop the Clocks by WH Auden
My father's clock stopped some time last week;
My brother found him this afternoon.
He died in his sleep.
I have lost my dad and I shall miss him.
Dad, I love you.
Rest in Peace.
xxx
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.
Stop the Clocks by WH Auden
My father's clock stopped some time last week;
My brother found him this afternoon.
He died in his sleep.
I have lost my dad and I shall miss him.
Dad, I love you.
Rest in Peace.
xxx
Tuesday, 6 November 2007
Of the Weekend
I may have mentioned before that I am an Engineer. My degree is in Civil Engineering and I worked as a Civil Engineer for a number of years. I have built and worked on some pretty impressive stuff over the years. I have built a few roads, the odd bridge here and there and a good number of water process plants. I was also on the tender stage of some of the interesting bits of Channel Tunnel Rail Link (CTRL). I worked on the winning bid for the St Pancras redevelopment. I would have loved to go to the royal opening tonight but alas I was not invited. I saw that job last year when I went past St Pancras and was amazed to see that the logo I had created to represent our bid team (it was a 3-way joint venture) was being used as the job logo. It was flying high for all to see on the tower cranes and on the hard hats and high vis vests of the men on site. I was flabbergasted to say the least. The logo was only ever supposed to be a quick fix, it wasn’t even supposed to be the actual logo we were using on the bid documents, but there you go!
Anyway, I shall come to the point. As an engineer I have some specific skills which come in handy now and again. One such skill is ‘levelling’. I can, using an optical level to work out at what level something should be set at – very handy if you want to lay a very large patio for instance.
F-i-L knows I have these skills and occasionally exploits them – the only problem is that whilst we both know what we’re doing, we don’t actually know what each other is doing. My way of doing things is very different to his. He thinks that mostly I’m wrong and tries to get me to do it his way. I mostly think that he is wrong and try to get him to do it my way.
And so it came to pass that last Sunday I spent from 10am until 4pm standing in a garden ‘discussing’ how we should set out the patio. We did break for lunch about 1 and thanks to M-i-L for a lovely roast but other than that we got pretty much nothing achieved…
Just for the record, if we’d have done it my way I’d have been done by 10:45….
Anyway, I shall come to the point. As an engineer I have some specific skills which come in handy now and again. One such skill is ‘levelling’. I can, using an optical level to work out at what level something should be set at – very handy if you want to lay a very large patio for instance.
F-i-L knows I have these skills and occasionally exploits them – the only problem is that whilst we both know what we’re doing, we don’t actually know what each other is doing. My way of doing things is very different to his. He thinks that mostly I’m wrong and tries to get me to do it his way. I mostly think that he is wrong and try to get him to do it my way.
And so it came to pass that last Sunday I spent from 10am until 4pm standing in a garden ‘discussing’ how we should set out the patio. We did break for lunch about 1 and thanks to M-i-L for a lovely roast but other than that we got pretty much nothing achieved…
Just for the record, if we’d have done it my way I’d have been done by 10:45….
Friday, 2 November 2007
Persona
Many of may posts of late have had somewhat of a negative tone. Even in my last post I was putting myself down over the standard of my basic education.
I'm not an unhappy person. I am a realist that has seen what I think of as more than my fair share of problems in my life. I won't regain you with the many problems that I have had suffice it to say that I am still here and for the most part, still kicking.
I've told you all that I suffer from depression but when necessary it is an illness that can be controlled by drugs. I wasn't diagnosed until my mid 20's but after talking to the health professional I feel at ease with my illness. I stated to have bouts of both depress on and mania during puberty but it took a serious set of events and a knowledgeable friend to put me in touch with the medics. In short the medics believe it to be an inbalance or serotonin (the happy chemical) in my brain. Sometimes I get to much and become almost invincible. Other times I don't get enough and become embroiled in my own misery. For the most part I'm fine these days and I have learned to live with it and to recognise when I'm up, when I'm down and when I'm in equilibrium. Wifey also has learned to live with my illness and can reign me in when I'm out of balance.
It is at times a great illness to have. Being on an up is incredible. Nothing can stop me. I am the greatest! Men want to be my friend, women want to be my lover and as for work, I know how good I am and if you don't think so, who cares! Who would not want to be like that..
Being on a down is not so great - it's the great draw back of bi-polar disorder as the call it these days. Still, you can't have everything can you.
For the most part I'm, as our American cousins might say, 'a regular guy'. A guy with the normal hopes, aspirations, dreams and anxieties that other people have.
Just for the record I'm currently just a little on the high side of normal, although I have to thank Wifey for that :-)
I'm not an unhappy person. I am a realist that has seen what I think of as more than my fair share of problems in my life. I won't regain you with the many problems that I have had suffice it to say that I am still here and for the most part, still kicking.
I've told you all that I suffer from depression but when necessary it is an illness that can be controlled by drugs. I wasn't diagnosed until my mid 20's but after talking to the health professional I feel at ease with my illness. I stated to have bouts of both depress on and mania during puberty but it took a serious set of events and a knowledgeable friend to put me in touch with the medics. In short the medics believe it to be an inbalance or serotonin (the happy chemical) in my brain. Sometimes I get to much and become almost invincible. Other times I don't get enough and become embroiled in my own misery. For the most part I'm fine these days and I have learned to live with it and to recognise when I'm up, when I'm down and when I'm in equilibrium. Wifey also has learned to live with my illness and can reign me in when I'm out of balance.
It is at times a great illness to have. Being on an up is incredible. Nothing can stop me. I am the greatest! Men want to be my friend, women want to be my lover and as for work, I know how good I am and if you don't think so, who cares! Who would not want to be like that..
Being on a down is not so great - it's the great draw back of bi-polar disorder as the call it these days. Still, you can't have everything can you.
For the most part I'm, as our American cousins might say, 'a regular guy'. A guy with the normal hopes, aspirations, dreams and anxieties that other people have.
Just for the record I'm currently just a little on the high side of normal, although I have to thank Wifey for that :-)
Wednesday, 31 October 2007
Typos
I have reread my last post and my subsequent comment and I would like to apologise for my typos.
I did very poorly at school and got all my qualifications a little later in life. As a result my spelling, grammar and basic mental arithmetic are appalling.
Once again I offer my humble apologies and thank you for your visit.
I did very poorly at school and got all my qualifications a little later in life. As a result my spelling, grammar and basic mental arithmetic are appalling.
Once again I offer my humble apologies and thank you for your visit.
Thursday, 25 October 2007
Thursday
I have yet to decide what I am going to write. I just want to write something.
Work has been hectic recently but not in a good way - I love the pressure of a job, a job that you can do, do well and are well supported by the team around you. A good team is one that is supportive of all it's members what ever their status. I have a great team below me and along side me, my only grip is the team above me.
I'm sure that that is a common complaint of many managers - the guys below they are useless, they don't do what they are told when they are told to do it. My management style is somewhat different to that. I believe that if the team below me fails then it is something that I have done wrong. I've not directed them properly, given unclear instructions, not defined the results that I want or given an unrealistic deadline.
I now people enjoy working with me. I like to refer to it as that as I want all the members of the team included in the process. Give them involvement, purpose and recognition and people will work hard and diligently for you.
Yet, at the moment I am not being managed well. I am given unclear directions, unrealistic timescales and not made to feel worth while. A good shouting tongue lashing or a brusque email is considered to be a motivational tool at my work place.
I have not been here long enough to have secure employment rights so I must keep my mouth closed. I can not speak out yet speaking out is what I do.
It makes for an unhappy work place and no matter how you try to keep your work and home life separate they invariably affect one another.
I suffer from depression and have done since puberty. I have had some dark times and some very manic bouts. Times when I have just wanted to destroy everything around me. I have been free from medication for nearly two years yet I find my mind being drawn to depressive thoughts. I try hard to be mentally stronger and for the most part I am succeeding but at the moment it is a battle so please excuse me if my post are a little dark at the moment - it is a form of release that is far better than taking it out on those around me.
Work has been hectic recently but not in a good way - I love the pressure of a job, a job that you can do, do well and are well supported by the team around you. A good team is one that is supportive of all it's members what ever their status. I have a great team below me and along side me, my only grip is the team above me.
I'm sure that that is a common complaint of many managers - the guys below they are useless, they don't do what they are told when they are told to do it. My management style is somewhat different to that. I believe that if the team below me fails then it is something that I have done wrong. I've not directed them properly, given unclear instructions, not defined the results that I want or given an unrealistic deadline.
I now people enjoy working with me. I like to refer to it as that as I want all the members of the team included in the process. Give them involvement, purpose and recognition and people will work hard and diligently for you.
Yet, at the moment I am not being managed well. I am given unclear directions, unrealistic timescales and not made to feel worth while. A good shouting tongue lashing or a brusque email is considered to be a motivational tool at my work place.
I have not been here long enough to have secure employment rights so I must keep my mouth closed. I can not speak out yet speaking out is what I do.
It makes for an unhappy work place and no matter how you try to keep your work and home life separate they invariably affect one another.
I suffer from depression and have done since puberty. I have had some dark times and some very manic bouts. Times when I have just wanted to destroy everything around me. I have been free from medication for nearly two years yet I find my mind being drawn to depressive thoughts. I try hard to be mentally stronger and for the most part I am succeeding but at the moment it is a battle so please excuse me if my post are a little dark at the moment - it is a form of release that is far better than taking it out on those around me.
Monday, 22 October 2007
In Brief
In brief, or should that be briefs?
Work is very busy and the boss is being a bit of a pain. Something along the line of 'today you will paint the grass purple' When the grass is duly painted the response is 'but I told you it was to be yellow, no why haven' you don't it' I have an email but protesting does no good.
I didn't get the Olympics, but to be honest 2 1/2 hours commute each way was never going to be something I would enjoy.
Regarding the original job I went for yada yada yada, we are talking money, car allowance and precise job remit - I am meeting the regional director. Bizarre really as I started at one down from the top and I'm gradually working my way down the list of seniority.
Wifey is working hard and her business is really starting to step up a gear.
Its 7:15pm and I must sign off to feed the baby and put him to bed.
I have a tension headache
Work is very busy and the boss is being a bit of a pain. Something along the line of 'today you will paint the grass purple' When the grass is duly painted the response is 'but I told you it was to be yellow, no why haven' you don't it' I have an email but protesting does no good.
I didn't get the Olympics, but to be honest 2 1/2 hours commute each way was never going to be something I would enjoy.
Regarding the original job I went for yada yada yada, we are talking money, car allowance and precise job remit - I am meeting the regional director. Bizarre really as I started at one down from the top and I'm gradually working my way down the list of seniority.
Wifey is working hard and her business is really starting to step up a gear.
Its 7:15pm and I must sign off to feed the baby and put him to bed.
I have a tension headache
Thursday, 11 October 2007
I'm Alive
I am still alive, however, for a change I am very busy.
Work has been a little manic and will continue to be so. Home life is demanding and at times challenging.
The baby has been ill again, as have I.
I went to the Olympics people today to talk about a job. They are a really impressive bunch of people and they have a date to stick too...
The view was pretty impressive from the Olympics offices in Canary Wharf.
May be they'll hire me, may be they won't.
I will keep you posted even if it is a little infrequently.
Also, in the last post I itimated a screaming good sex session and I only got 4 comments and one of those was from Wifey - I think I'll leave the sex blogging to The Girl.
Please do check back as I will continue to post, it's just that life is getting in the way at the moment.
Work has been a little manic and will continue to be so. Home life is demanding and at times challenging.
The baby has been ill again, as have I.
I went to the Olympics people today to talk about a job. They are a really impressive bunch of people and they have a date to stick too...
The view was pretty impressive from the Olympics offices in Canary Wharf.
May be they'll hire me, may be they won't.
I will keep you posted even if it is a little infrequently.
Also, in the last post I itimated a screaming good sex session and I only got 4 comments and one of those was from Wifey - I think I'll leave the sex blogging to The Girl.
Please do check back as I will continue to post, it's just that life is getting in the way at the moment.
Monday, 1 October 2007
A Bedroom Fantasy
Well, here I am, at home, with the baby round my feet and Wifey setting at the desk to my right; I’m not sure if this working from home lark is all it’s cracked up to be.
It was an interesting weekend all told. Firstly one of Wifey’s bedroom fantasies came true.
At just after 11pm on Saturday night, a strange and good looking, man entered Wifey's bedroom. She was already in bed waiting for his arrival. Wifeys pulse was racing as the stranger talked softly and calmly to her. He was obviously educated and had a commanding air of authority to him. He talked some more and she listen intently, hanging on his every word. The stranger climbed on to Wifey’s bed and gently, but authoritatively, rolled her over. He pulled her knickers to one side and Wifey began to bite the pillow waiting for what was to come. When it finally did come, she bit the pillow hard and yelped weakly through her clenched teeth.
“Well that should help ease the vomiting” the on-call doctor said.
“Thank you Doctor” said Wifey.
I’ll post some more tomorrow.
It was an interesting weekend all told. Firstly one of Wifey’s bedroom fantasies came true.
At just after 11pm on Saturday night, a strange and good looking, man entered Wifey's bedroom. She was already in bed waiting for his arrival. Wifeys pulse was racing as the stranger talked softly and calmly to her. He was obviously educated and had a commanding air of authority to him. He talked some more and she listen intently, hanging on his every word. The stranger climbed on to Wifey’s bed and gently, but authoritatively, rolled her over. He pulled her knickers to one side and Wifey began to bite the pillow waiting for what was to come. When it finally did come, she bit the pillow hard and yelped weakly through her clenched teeth.
“Well that should help ease the vomiting” the on-call doctor said.
“Thank you Doctor” said Wifey.
I’ll post some more tomorrow.
Thursday, 27 September 2007
An update
I actually wanted to post about a few things during the course of this week;
about the trip Wifey and I took on Sunday to Nymans Gardens, although I didn't take my camera so no photos.
About my first time out unsupervised as and Advance Motorists Observer.
Of the fact that all three of us are still a little on the ill side and just can't seem to shift it.
About the fact I have taken up my evening running again now my decoration duties have subsided a little.
About Sunday night.
About the fact I am now running around like a blue arsed fly being busy at work.
But, I really don't have the time or the inclination to post this week.
Tomorrow I'm moving offices and the new office isn't ready yet so I'll have to work from home for a week or two.
More soon and may be a photo or two....
about the trip Wifey and I took on Sunday to Nymans Gardens, although I didn't take my camera so no photos.
About my first time out unsupervised as and Advance Motorists Observer.
Of the fact that all three of us are still a little on the ill side and just can't seem to shift it.
About the fact I have taken up my evening running again now my decoration duties have subsided a little.
About Sunday night.
About the fact I am now running around like a blue arsed fly being busy at work.
But, I really don't have the time or the inclination to post this week.
Tomorrow I'm moving offices and the new office isn't ready yet so I'll have to work from home for a week or two.
More soon and may be a photo or two....
Monday, 24 September 2007
Busy, Busy, Busy
Whilst I am not exactly globetrotting like The Boy, or appearing on Radio 4 talk shows like The Girl or having babies like Slavadore at Smaller than Life or Ally at Ducking For Apples I have been busy on business and getting ready for a baby.
I’d better just put the record straight; I’ve not been getting ready for Wifey and I’s baby… We already have one of those thank you very much. We have been getting ready for our friends, D&V’s baby. She, for we know (at least we think we know) it is a girl, will be born today at Worthing Hospital by Caesarean Section. We had lunch with D&V on Saturday when we happened to meet each other just outside the Little Black Olive. If you every visit Horsham and want a decent little non chain owned coffee shop then the LBO is for you. It’s just round the corner from Macdonalds…..
Dad to be can’t stop smiling at the prospect of being a dad; Mum to be is a little on the nervous side. Anyway, D,V & baby MJ I hope everything goes well today.
As for Busy, Busy, busy, we are in the process of moving offices. Not just within the building, but to a different building and a different county. I’ll now be working in only the next county as opposed to the next but one as I do now. It’ll be only 20 minutes from home, which is better than the days when I used to work near Lewisham and still lived in Horsham
We are also coming up for the time of year when we need to submit bids for funding to the Housing Corporation (A government Quango) and that also follows internal budgets for the next financial year.
Anyway I must press on…
I’d better just put the record straight; I’ve not been getting ready for Wifey and I’s baby… We already have one of those thank you very much. We have been getting ready for our friends, D&V’s baby. She, for we know (at least we think we know) it is a girl, will be born today at Worthing Hospital by Caesarean Section. We had lunch with D&V on Saturday when we happened to meet each other just outside the Little Black Olive. If you every visit Horsham and want a decent little non chain owned coffee shop then the LBO is for you. It’s just round the corner from Macdonalds…..
Dad to be can’t stop smiling at the prospect of being a dad; Mum to be is a little on the nervous side. Anyway, D,V & baby MJ I hope everything goes well today.
As for Busy, Busy, busy, we are in the process of moving offices. Not just within the building, but to a different building and a different county. I’ll now be working in only the next county as opposed to the next but one as I do now. It’ll be only 20 minutes from home, which is better than the days when I used to work near Lewisham and still lived in Horsham
We are also coming up for the time of year when we need to submit bids for funding to the Housing Corporation (A government Quango) and that also follows internal budgets for the next financial year.
Anyway I must press on…
Wednesday, 19 September 2007
Still Hoping
The job role wasn't quite what I was expecting...
I honestly don't know whether or not I could do the job and that concerns me. The guys I met seemed Ok and I think I could get on with them but you never really know unitil the chips are down.
I'm getting a little wobbly... I am just jumping to get out of my current job or is it a fear of the unknow which is concerning me.
They are also talking to someone else so they may not even offer my the job.
Work went from nothing to high pressure crisis managemenet yesterday. A crisis I had predicted would happen but was not in my power to control. Never the less I am caught up with it and I won't come out smelling of roses whilst the culpret will.
Humph!
I honestly don't know whether or not I could do the job and that concerns me. The guys I met seemed Ok and I think I could get on with them but you never really know unitil the chips are down.
I'm getting a little wobbly... I am just jumping to get out of my current job or is it a fear of the unknow which is concerning me.
They are also talking to someone else so they may not even offer my the job.
Work went from nothing to high pressure crisis managemenet yesterday. A crisis I had predicted would happen but was not in my power to control. Never the less I am caught up with it and I won't come out smelling of roses whilst the culpret will.
Humph!
Tuesday, 18 September 2007
Days of Hope & Glory
Today is a day of hope. I am meeting yet another set of people form a perspective employer; those of the Assessment Centre fame. This will be the third set of people I have met in connection with this organisation. These people would be by direct manager and his boss.
They wouldn’t keep coming back to me if they we’re interested, so I am hopeful something will come of this meeting. My gloomy mood has been lifted by the prospect of the meeting today.
So that’s the hope; In terms of glory, isn’t it a glorious day outside!
I left the house early this morning has I had to drop Pickle of at the nursery and then do battle with both the M23 and M25 yet today I was calm. Even the post school holiday traffic was bearable; I simply consciously applied by Advanced Driving techniques and whilst I drove did a running commentary as a little brush up. When I turned off the motorway the A roads were actually quite pleasant. The sun was flickering through the trees and highlighting the magnificent countryside around me.
We won’t mention that Wifey is having a rubbish day; she’s forgot to go to a meeting (although not that important she attend anyway), she’s fallen downstairs spilling coffee over her clean suit and my newly decorated walls, not to mention the freshly shampooed carpets. Wifey bruises very easily as she’s on some stiff medications so by tonight she’ll be black and blue (and purple and yellow and violet…….)
They wouldn’t keep coming back to me if they we’re interested, so I am hopeful something will come of this meeting. My gloomy mood has been lifted by the prospect of the meeting today.
So that’s the hope; In terms of glory, isn’t it a glorious day outside!
I left the house early this morning has I had to drop Pickle of at the nursery and then do battle with both the M23 and M25 yet today I was calm. Even the post school holiday traffic was bearable; I simply consciously applied by Advanced Driving techniques and whilst I drove did a running commentary as a little brush up. When I turned off the motorway the A roads were actually quite pleasant. The sun was flickering through the trees and highlighting the magnificent countryside around me.
We won’t mention that Wifey is having a rubbish day; she’s forgot to go to a meeting (although not that important she attend anyway), she’s fallen downstairs spilling coffee over her clean suit and my newly decorated walls, not to mention the freshly shampooed carpets. Wifey bruises very easily as she’s on some stiff medications so by tonight she’ll be black and blue (and purple and yellow and violet…….)
Monday, 17 September 2007
A Tale of Life and Death
I was mulling over what I shoould post today when I went to Random Acts of Reality and read this post.
http://randomreality.blogware.com/blog/_archives/2007/9/13
It points you to three other bloggers who have posted about their experience of dealing with a crash in Texas.
It takes quite a while to read all three posts but if you can spare the time then do read it. It is, at times, difficult to read but persevere as it provides as sobering message (no pun intended).
It just reminds you of what our emergency services all over the world have to face and reminds you of the respect they deserve.
http://randomreality.blogware.com/blog/_archives/2007/9/13
It points you to three other bloggers who have posted about their experience of dealing with a crash in Texas.
It takes quite a while to read all three posts but if you can spare the time then do read it. It is, at times, difficult to read but persevere as it provides as sobering message (no pun intended).
It just reminds you of what our emergency services all over the world have to face and reminds you of the respect they deserve.
Saturday, 15 September 2007
Coming Clean
I have to admit that I have not actually been posting pictures of Wifey. They were of course;
i) a model I saw whilst walking around the stage at the Eden Project and
ii) a rear shot of Julia Roberts at the polo match in Pretty Woman.
Below is a picture of Wifey, and as I haven't got any fancy editing programmes, I wasn't able to blank out the face. Obviously our friends will regonise her and the view from our living room and out to our garden (those full height windows were a bitch to install.....)
So, if you see her around you'll know who she is. Tap her on the shoulder and say hi!
i) a model I saw whilst walking around the stage at the Eden Project and
ii) a rear shot of Julia Roberts at the polo match in Pretty Woman.
Below is a picture of Wifey, and as I haven't got any fancy editing programmes, I wasn't able to blank out the face. Obviously our friends will regonise her and the view from our living room and out to our garden (those full height windows were a bitch to install.....)
So, if you see her around you'll know who she is. Tap her on the shoulder and say hi!
Friday, 14 September 2007
Ok already
So here it is!
The long awaited picture of Wifey treading divots at the polo match.
It isn't the best picture, but the other one shows too much of her face and I don't have these face editing programs to blur out the important details.
This was the last divot trod and she's now heading back to the marque where her wine is waiting.
Anyway I can't stop long today as I have another meeting to attend away from the office.
And guess what folks.... It's Friday TGIF as someone once said.
Have a good one :-)
Wednesday, 12 September 2007
Another Post
I was going to post a very maudlin post that I compose this afternoon. As it happens, I didn't want to post it as it was an outpouring of my my mind and it was particularly fun to read. I've mentioned often enough that I'm not happy in my work and it was just another rehash of that.
Anyway, you (and I) have been saved from that torture has we suffered a power cut and my post (being composed in Word without being filenamed) bit the dust (ether?)
I am a little happier now (I only have 40 minutes before I leave work) so I thought I'd post you a picture of Mevagissy Harbour. The image is quite small as it's not the original image, rather it's from a web album, but that's in my real name and has pictures of me and others published all over the place so I wouldn't want to direct you there now would I.
I didn't get many comments about the picture of Wifey's back so I'm guessing you don't want to see her treading divots then......(This is a shameless plug for comments as I'm feeling a bit low down here and need cheering up...)
Down Beat
I’d love to post something with a cheerful note to it today, but I had been wandering around with a dark cloud over my head for some months since I realised that this job isn’t for me. On the whole I’ve just being putting it to the back of my mind and getting on with things whilst keeping my ear to the ground for a new job. Over the past two weeks the cloud has darken and is threatening rain….
I have ‘things in the pipeline’ but nothing is certain until you actually start a new job. My lack of motivation is starting to turn in to a vicious circle or lethargy.
Roll on the weekend.
I have ‘things in the pipeline’ but nothing is certain until you actually start a new job. My lack of motivation is starting to turn in to a vicious circle or lethargy.
Roll on the weekend.
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