Monday 26 November 2007

Never Again

I went back up north on Friday night. The journey was long and you can't reason with a 1 year old who doesn't want to be strapped in his car seat.

I went to my dads on Saturday after a quick wander around Derby (It's changed a lot). What I found at my dads was horrific - Things that I won't share, things that you don't need to know - Wifey and I didn't sleep much Saturday night, the things we had seen kept us awake.

We have chosen a coffin and flowers, we all chose the same coffin and agreed on the flowers quickly. The Funeral is on Thursday.

My bother and I and our wives started to clear the house - My father was (I'm having trouble with the is/was thing) a hoarder. He has records going back to the early 50's. He didn't throw any paperwork away, not even bus tickets...... The wives went early as my S-I-L was in tears and our baby was not happy about being confined to a push chair.

Wifey did something that was truly remarkable. Something about which I can not write, but suffice to say she simply got on with the job in hand, with no fuss at all. I also undertook a job about which I can not write - he was my dad I felt it was my duty - At the time I got on with it, but now I think I can say that it was one of the worst experiences of my life (and there's been quite a few).

There is still so much of the house to sort through it will take many days of work, time that my brother and I don't have, but time we will have to find.

Right now I have to start work on the probate and working out his estate.

I am dealing with it but right now I feel like a hollow shell.

6 comments:

The Boy said...

Yeah, dealing with a parent's life, both the bits you knew and the bits you didn't, is hell. I can well imagine. Keep going, keep looking up, take your own boy for a walk with your wife by your side. It will get better needs to be your mantra.

Z said...

Our parents become, in a sense, our children and we do what is needed. All the best, honey.

AFC 30K said...

Boy - My Mantra at the moment is that He didn't suffer. It is working.

Z - Recnetly I had started to worry about him the way a parent worries about a child, so in may ways it was the perfect time to go.

martin said...

Sorry for your loss. It was horrible when my Dad died. But as the boy says it will get better.

Rog said...

Commiserations AFC

Anonymous said...

enidd's so sorry. thank you for your kind comments on her blog - she doesn't deserve them because you are struggling with far worse by the sounds of it.