Thursday 20 December 2007

2 & counting

The cat lives!

He has an overactive thyroid gland. I have put it down to him simply being an old codger - He was ill and I didn't take him to he vet.

I was wrong - his illness is very treatable and I feel like crap about not taking him sooner.

I still have a cat but I am minus £130.

3's

They say bad luck comes in three's. Firstly my dad, then Wifey's dad and now.....

Well, not quite yet but our very old and cantankerous tom cat is on his last legs - he has been wasting away for most of this year, but last night he wouldn't hold his head up - he just lay on the bathroom floor soaking up the heat from the central heating pipes below.

We have two moggies and he rules the roost over our 8 year old female. She beat him to the food bowls this morning and ate out of his - he didn't challenge her, he just ate from her bowl instead. Previously she wouldn't have dared touch his food bowl and for good reason.

He has an appointment at the vets at 3:30 today - a rather suspect that he won't be around when I get home.

Wednesday 19 December 2007

Time....

....is something I don't seem to have recently. Work has been manic with long hours being worked which I'm not in favour of. I've been getting home and then helping Wifey with her business and looking after the baby. I've also been trying to sort out my dad's estate. The forms to obtain probate want to know everything....

On top of all this, I'm still undecided about the new job, I do some voluntary work which has fallen by the wayside recently and to cap it all off my father in law has been taken ill. He has a recurring medical problem that means in may be in hospital for some time. So this year for Christmas my dad won't be with us (It's his birthday tomorrow) and neither will my father in law. I've never spent Christmas without my dad and Wifey, likewise, has never spent Christmas without her father.

And finally, my depression has been getting the better of me recently and a wave of apathy has swept over me about everything making the large amount of work I have to get through seem insurmountable instead of just difficult.

I know things will change soon, but roll on happy times.

Monday 26 November 2007

Never Again

I went back up north on Friday night. The journey was long and you can't reason with a 1 year old who doesn't want to be strapped in his car seat.

I went to my dads on Saturday after a quick wander around Derby (It's changed a lot). What I found at my dads was horrific - Things that I won't share, things that you don't need to know - Wifey and I didn't sleep much Saturday night, the things we had seen kept us awake.

We have chosen a coffin and flowers, we all chose the same coffin and agreed on the flowers quickly. The Funeral is on Thursday.

My bother and I and our wives started to clear the house - My father was (I'm having trouble with the is/was thing) a hoarder. He has records going back to the early 50's. He didn't throw any paperwork away, not even bus tickets...... The wives went early as my S-I-L was in tears and our baby was not happy about being confined to a push chair.

Wifey did something that was truly remarkable. Something about which I can not write, but suffice to say she simply got on with the job in hand, with no fuss at all. I also undertook a job about which I can not write - he was my dad I felt it was my duty - At the time I got on with it, but now I think I can say that it was one of the worst experiences of my life (and there's been quite a few).

There is still so much of the house to sort through it will take many days of work, time that my brother and I don't have, but time we will have to find.

Right now I have to start work on the probate and working out his estate.

I am dealing with it but right now I feel like a hollow shell.

Wednesday 21 November 2007

Dealing with it

As you may know I have been battling depression since puberty. Right now I am struggling.

The job is getting me down (i may have mentioned that once or twice before) and I have lost any enthusiasm I once had for the organisation. I have several complex issues that need to be resolved and to do that I need to talk to my boss. The only thing is that some times I seem him twice in a fortnight and the emails and phone calls are constant, the other times I hear nothing for weeks. As we work in different offices, some hours travel apart, it can be difficult to meet up, but generally the only sensible answers I get are ones during a face to face meeting.

The upshot being, why should I bother my arse with putting any effort in when I don't get any support back? I have days when I pull myself up by my boot straps and say 'it's all good experience - the more you put in to it, the more you'll get out of it' That lasts about a day when I hit on something I need to talk to him about or work that I have done is ridiculed (usually in front of others) and my mood and attitude drop to zero in a heart beat.

I work for a bully and anyone who works for a bully is bullied to some extent - Don't get me wrong, I am not the shy retiring type and a fight my corner even though he is more eloquent and fast thinking than I. But it's been grinding me down since Christmas last year. This tension combined with Wifey being stressed about her work and us both being stressed about money and the demands of bringing up a baby (I does have it's joys but the last 12 months have been tiring) has taken it's toll and I am struggling not to fall in to un-controlled depression. I know that I am depressed, but I don't want to go back on anti-depressants as they do have some unwanted side effects, I want to ride out this storm by will power alone.

Dad dieing has been a body blow, as it must be for anyone who loses a loved one - there are things that are playing on my mind and they are stopping me from sleeping soundly. The result being I am tired and lethargic and I really can't be bothered with work.

I hope there should be a contract on the door mat at home waiting for me for the new job - it's not perfect but the organisation is 533 times bigger and has a professional set of managers.

He's to being able to resign tomorrow!

Just for the record - actually knowing you're depressed is a great healer and whilst the depression affects you, you are able to sit down and try and rationalise it just like I'm doing here.

Tuesday 20 November 2007

My Dad

From what we know my Dad died last Tuesday night in bed. I am thankful.

My dad was hard of hearing due to tinnitus which was the product of a lifetime working in or around aircraft. He was generally excluded in a social situation because he just couldn't hear what was going on. He had been having some health difficulties since about this time last year and in the spring he was diagnosed with heart failure. He was finding mobility a struggle and had been house bound for about 4 or 5 months. He was down with us only a few weeks ago and had a good time. He loves his grandson. "you're a grand little lad" are often said whilst ruffling the boy's hair. He said to me that he was feeling much better and the 4 stone, yes 4 stone, he had lost made him feel even better, although he did say he felt like he was on his last innings.

I fully expected the old sod to live on for years to come.

I'm sure he had regrets in life, most of us do, but he got to see his two sons educated, married and settled with children. There are elements of our life's that are not perfect, but generally my brother and I are happy. So what I'm trying to say is what better way to go? He wasn't in pain, just a little tired. He had all his mental faculties although he was hard of hearing. He did not endure a long and painful illness, quite simply his heart just stopped. I was not there and I don't know if he suffered yet I feel strangely confident that he didn't. In my own mind I know he went to bed and never woke up. I feel deeply sorry that he wasn't found for 5 days and that I wasn't with him, or at least near him, when he died, but on the whole I'm sort of happy. No dementure, no stroke, no cancer. I must take all these things as a positive.

Sunday 18 November 2007

A Good Man

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

Stop the Clocks by WH Auden

My father's clock stopped some time last week;
My brother found him this afternoon.
He died in his sleep.

I have lost my dad and I shall miss him.

Dad, I love you.
Rest in Peace.

xxx

Tuesday 6 November 2007

Of the Weekend

I may have mentioned before that I am an Engineer. My degree is in Civil Engineering and I worked as a Civil Engineer for a number of years. I have built and worked on some pretty impressive stuff over the years. I have built a few roads, the odd bridge here and there and a good number of water process plants. I was also on the tender stage of some of the interesting bits of Channel Tunnel Rail Link (CTRL). I worked on the winning bid for the St Pancras redevelopment. I would have loved to go to the royal opening tonight but alas I was not invited. I saw that job last year when I went past St Pancras and was amazed to see that the logo I had created to represent our bid team (it was a 3-way joint venture) was being used as the job logo. It was flying high for all to see on the tower cranes and on the hard hats and high vis vests of the men on site. I was flabbergasted to say the least. The logo was only ever supposed to be a quick fix, it wasn’t even supposed to be the actual logo we were using on the bid documents, but there you go!

Anyway, I shall come to the point. As an engineer I have some specific skills which come in handy now and again. One such skill is ‘levelling’. I can, using an optical level to work out at what level something should be set at – very handy if you want to lay a very large patio for instance.

F-i-L knows I have these skills and occasionally exploits them – the only problem is that whilst we both know what we’re doing, we don’t actually know what each other is doing. My way of doing things is very different to his. He thinks that mostly I’m wrong and tries to get me to do it his way. I mostly think that he is wrong and try to get him to do it my way.

And so it came to pass that last Sunday I spent from 10am until 4pm standing in a garden ‘discussing’ how we should set out the patio. We did break for lunch about 1 and thanks to M-i-L for a lovely roast but other than that we got pretty much nothing achieved…

Just for the record, if we’d have done it my way I’d have been done by 10:45….

Friday 2 November 2007

Persona

Many of may posts of late have had somewhat of a negative tone. Even in my last post I was putting myself down over the standard of my basic education.

I'm not an unhappy person. I am a realist that has seen what I think of as more than my fair share of problems in my life. I won't regain you with the many problems that I have had suffice it to say that I am still here and for the most part, still kicking.

I've told you all that I suffer from depression but when necessary it is an illness that can be controlled by drugs. I wasn't diagnosed until my mid 20's but after talking to the health professional I feel at ease with my illness. I stated to have bouts of both depress on and mania during puberty but it took a serious set of events and a knowledgeable friend to put me in touch with the medics. In short the medics believe it to be an inbalance or serotonin (the happy chemical) in my brain. Sometimes I get to much and become almost invincible. Other times I don't get enough and become embroiled in my own misery. For the most part I'm fine these days and I have learned to live with it and to recognise when I'm up, when I'm down and when I'm in equilibrium. Wifey also has learned to live with my illness and can reign me in when I'm out of balance.

It is at times a great illness to have. Being on an up is incredible. Nothing can stop me. I am the greatest! Men want to be my friend, women want to be my lover and as for work, I know how good I am and if you don't think so, who cares! Who would not want to be like that..

Being on a down is not so great - it's the great draw back of bi-polar disorder as the call it these days. Still, you can't have everything can you.

For the most part I'm, as our American cousins might say, 'a regular guy'. A guy with the normal hopes, aspirations, dreams and anxieties that other people have.

Just for the record I'm currently just a little on the high side of normal, although I have to thank Wifey for that :-)

Wednesday 31 October 2007

Typos

I have reread my last post and my subsequent comment and I would like to apologise for my typos.

I did very poorly at school and got all my qualifications a little later in life. As a result my spelling, grammar and basic mental arithmetic are appalling.

Once again I offer my humble apologies and thank you for your visit.

Thursday 25 October 2007

Thursday

I have yet to decide what I am going to write. I just want to write something.

Work has been hectic recently but not in a good way - I love the pressure of a job, a job that you can do, do well and are well supported by the team around you. A good team is one that is supportive of all it's members what ever their status. I have a great team below me and along side me, my only grip is the team above me.

I'm sure that that is a common complaint of many managers - the guys below they are useless, they don't do what they are told when they are told to do it. My management style is somewhat different to that. I believe that if the team below me fails then it is something that I have done wrong. I've not directed them properly, given unclear instructions, not defined the results that I want or given an unrealistic deadline.

I now people enjoy working with me. I like to refer to it as that as I want all the members of the team included in the process. Give them involvement, purpose and recognition and people will work hard and diligently for you.

Yet, at the moment I am not being managed well. I am given unclear directions, unrealistic timescales and not made to feel worth while. A good shouting tongue lashing or a brusque email is considered to be a motivational tool at my work place.

I have not been here long enough to have secure employment rights so I must keep my mouth closed. I can not speak out yet speaking out is what I do.

It makes for an unhappy work place and no matter how you try to keep your work and home life separate they invariably affect one another.

I suffer from depression and have done since puberty. I have had some dark times and some very manic bouts. Times when I have just wanted to destroy everything around me. I have been free from medication for nearly two years yet I find my mind being drawn to depressive thoughts. I try hard to be mentally stronger and for the most part I am succeeding but at the moment it is a battle so please excuse me if my post are a little dark at the moment - it is a form of release that is far better than taking it out on those around me.

Monday 22 October 2007

In Brief

In brief, or should that be briefs?

Work is very busy and the boss is being a bit of a pain. Something along the line of 'today you will paint the grass purple' When the grass is duly painted the response is 'but I told you it was to be yellow, no why haven' you don't it' I have an email but protesting does no good.

I didn't get the Olympics, but to be honest 2 1/2 hours commute each way was never going to be something I would enjoy.

Regarding the original job I went for yada yada yada, we are talking money, car allowance and precise job remit - I am meeting the regional director. Bizarre really as I started at one down from the top and I'm gradually working my way down the list of seniority.

Wifey is working hard and her business is really starting to step up a gear.

Its 7:15pm and I must sign off to feed the baby and put him to bed.

I have a tension headache

Thursday 11 October 2007

I'm Alive

I am still alive, however, for a change I am very busy.

Work has been a little manic and will continue to be so. Home life is demanding and at times challenging.

The baby has been ill again, as have I.

I went to the Olympics people today to talk about a job. They are a really impressive bunch of people and they have a date to stick too...

The view was pretty impressive from the Olympics offices in Canary Wharf.

May be they'll hire me, may be they won't.

I will keep you posted even if it is a little infrequently.

Also, in the last post I itimated a screaming good sex session and I only got 4 comments and one of those was from Wifey - I think I'll leave the sex blogging to The Girl.

Please do check back as I will continue to post, it's just that life is getting in the way at the moment.

Monday 1 October 2007

A Bedroom Fantasy

Well, here I am, at home, with the baby round my feet and Wifey setting at the desk to my right; I’m not sure if this working from home lark is all it’s cracked up to be.

It was an interesting weekend all told. Firstly one of Wifey’s bedroom fantasies came true.

At just after 11pm on Saturday night, a strange and good looking, man entered Wifey's bedroom. She was already in bed waiting for his arrival. Wifeys pulse was racing as the stranger talked softly and calmly to her. He was obviously educated and had a commanding air of authority to him. He talked some more and she listen intently, hanging on his every word. The stranger climbed on to Wifey’s bed and gently, but authoritatively, rolled her over. He pulled her knickers to one side and Wifey began to bite the pillow waiting for what was to come. When it finally did come, she bit the pillow hard and yelped weakly through her clenched teeth.

“Well that should help ease the vomiting” the on-call doctor said.

“Thank you Doctor” said Wifey.

I’ll post some more tomorrow.

Thursday 27 September 2007

An update

I actually wanted to post about a few things during the course of this week;

about the trip Wifey and I took on Sunday to Nymans Gardens, although I didn't take my camera so no photos.

About my first time out unsupervised as and Advance Motorists Observer.

Of the fact that all three of us are still a little on the ill side and just can't seem to shift it.

About the fact I have taken up my evening running again now my decoration duties have subsided a little.

About Sunday night.

About the fact I am now running around like a blue arsed fly being busy at work.

But, I really don't have the time or the inclination to post this week.

Tomorrow I'm moving offices and the new office isn't ready yet so I'll have to work from home for a week or two.

More soon and may be a photo or two....

Monday 24 September 2007

Busy, Busy, Busy

Whilst I am not exactly globetrotting like The Boy, or appearing on Radio 4 talk shows like The Girl or having babies like Slavadore at Smaller than Life or Ally at Ducking For Apples I have been busy on business and getting ready for a baby.

I’d better just put the record straight; I’ve not been getting ready for Wifey and I’s baby… We already have one of those thank you very much. We have been getting ready for our friends, D&V’s baby. She, for we know (at least we think we know) it is a girl, will be born today at Worthing Hospital by Caesarean Section. We had lunch with D&V on Saturday when we happened to meet each other just outside the Little Black Olive. If you every visit Horsham and want a decent little non chain owned coffee shop then the LBO is for you. It’s just round the corner from Macdonalds…..

Dad to be can’t stop smiling at the prospect of being a dad; Mum to be is a little on the nervous side. Anyway, D,V & baby MJ I hope everything goes well today.

As for Busy, Busy, busy, we are in the process of moving offices. Not just within the building, but to a different building and a different county. I’ll now be working in only the next county as opposed to the next but one as I do now. It’ll be only 20 minutes from home, which is better than the days when I used to work near Lewisham and still lived in Horsham


We are also coming up for the time of year when we need to submit bids for funding to the Housing Corporation (A government Quango) and that also follows internal budgets for the next financial year.

Anyway I must press on…

Wednesday 19 September 2007

Still Hoping

The job role wasn't quite what I was expecting...

I honestly don't know whether or not I could do the job and that concerns me. The guys I met seemed Ok and I think I could get on with them but you never really know unitil the chips are down.

I'm getting a little wobbly... I am just jumping to get out of my current job or is it a fear of the unknow which is concerning me.

They are also talking to someone else so they may not even offer my the job.

Work went from nothing to high pressure crisis managemenet yesterday. A crisis I had predicted would happen but was not in my power to control. Never the less I am caught up with it and I won't come out smelling of roses whilst the culpret will.

Humph!

Tuesday 18 September 2007

Days of Hope & Glory

Today is a day of hope. I am meeting yet another set of people form a perspective employer; those of the Assessment Centre fame. This will be the third set of people I have met in connection with this organisation. These people would be by direct manager and his boss.

They wouldn’t keep coming back to me if they we’re interested, so I am hopeful something will come of this meeting. My gloomy mood has been lifted by the prospect of the meeting today.

So that’s the hope; In terms of glory, isn’t it a glorious day outside!

I left the house early this morning has I had to drop Pickle of at the nursery and then do battle with both the M23 and M25 yet today I was calm. Even the post school holiday traffic was bearable; I simply consciously applied by Advanced Driving techniques and whilst I drove did a running commentary as a little brush up. When I turned off the motorway the A roads were actually quite pleasant. The sun was flickering through the trees and highlighting the magnificent countryside around me.

We won’t mention that Wifey is having a rubbish day; she’s forgot to go to a meeting (although not that important she attend anyway), she’s fallen downstairs spilling coffee over her clean suit and my newly decorated walls, not to mention the freshly shampooed carpets. Wifey bruises very easily as she’s on some stiff medications so by tonight she’ll be black and blue (and purple and yellow and violet…….)

Monday 17 September 2007

A Tale of Life and Death

I was mulling over what I shoould post today when I went to Random Acts of Reality and read this post.

http://randomreality.blogware.com/blog/_archives/2007/9/13

It points you to three other bloggers who have posted about their experience of dealing with a crash in Texas.

It takes quite a while to read all three posts but if you can spare the time then do read it. It is, at times, difficult to read but persevere as it provides as sobering message (no pun intended).

It just reminds you of what our emergency services all over the world have to face and reminds you of the respect they deserve.

Saturday 15 September 2007

Coming Clean

I have to admit that I have not actually been posting pictures of Wifey. They were of course;

i) a model I saw whilst walking around the stage at the Eden Project and

ii) a rear shot of Julia Roberts at the polo match in Pretty Woman.


Below is a picture of Wifey, and as I haven't got any fancy editing programmes, I wasn't able to blank out the face. Obviously our friends will regonise her and the view from our living room and out to our garden (those full height windows were a bitch to install.....)

So, if you see her around you'll know who she is. Tap her on the shoulder and say hi!



Friday 14 September 2007

Ok already



So here it is!

The long awaited picture of Wifey treading divots at the polo match.

It isn't the best picture, but the other one shows too much of her face and I don't have these face editing programs to blur out the important details.

This was the last divot trod and she's now heading back to the marque where her wine is waiting.

Anyway I can't stop long today as I have another meeting to attend away from the office.

And guess what folks.... It's Friday TGIF as someone once said.

Have a good one :-)

Wednesday 12 September 2007

Another Post



I was going to post a very maudlin post that I compose this afternoon. As it happens, I didn't want to post it as it was an outpouring of my my mind and it was particularly fun to read. I've mentioned often enough that I'm not happy in my work and it was just another rehash of that.

Anyway, you (and I) have been saved from that torture has we suffered a power cut and my post (being composed in Word without being filenamed) bit the dust (ether?)

I am a little happier now (I only have 40 minutes before I leave work) so I thought I'd post you a picture of Mevagissy Harbour. The image is quite small as it's not the original image, rather it's from a web album, but that's in my real name and has pictures of me and others published all over the place so I wouldn't want to direct you there now would I.

I didn't get many comments about the picture of Wifey's back so I'm guessing you don't want to see her treading divots then......(This is a shameless plug for comments as I'm feeling a bit low down here and need cheering up...)

Down Beat

I’d love to post something with a cheerful note to it today, but I had been wandering around with a dark cloud over my head for some months since I realised that this job isn’t for me. On the whole I’ve just being putting it to the back of my mind and getting on with things whilst keeping my ear to the ground for a new job. Over the past two weeks the cloud has darken and is threatening rain….

I have ‘things in the pipeline’ but nothing is certain until you actually start a new job. My lack of motivation is starting to turn in to a vicious circle or lethargy.

Roll on the weekend.

Tuesday 11 September 2007

50th


To celebrate my 50th post I promised you a picture of Wifey. I did say that I would post the one of her treading divots at the polo match but I have misplaced that one. I have an inkling of where it is so I'll post it another time.
So there you go folks a picture of my beautiful wife.
Tomorrow I'll post another picture of a Cornish harbour as you all seem to like them so much....

Monday 10 September 2007

I did say I'd get round to posting some photos. So here is one from our holiday in July to Cornwall.

This is a view in land over Padstow harbour and was taken by Wifey. I particularly like the way she has captured the reflection of the two sailing boats in the water. Also the sky is magnificent.

A memorable photo from a memorable day.

Tell Me Why I Don't Like Mondays

I am still recovering from my illness last week, although I am now back at work.

I haven’t had a chance to catch up on everyone’s blogs so far, but I will in the next week or so.

This is a time of change for me; I’m really not happy in my current job, I’m bored and there are a number of procedural issues I have with the way in which I am forced to work. So a change is called for.

I have had another phone call from the organisation I went to the assessment centre for and they are still interested – as am I. The salary isn’t as good, but I hope it’s taking me in the right direct and they seem like a good place to work, an organisation that values its employees. I’ve got the ear of two of the senior directors, I now just have to meet the senior management team I would report to. This isn’t the step from middle management, to senior management I had hoped for, but I feel that promotion is a realistic prospect.

My trouble is that I’ve started to wind down at my current job. I haven’t got a new job yet and I feel like I’m in my notice period already. My work is not at the top of my priorities during the day. I have to stop this in case I don’t get the new job, or I don’t like the team I’d be working with and have to stay in my current job a little while longer.

It’s tough – I know I should work hard, but I know it’s mostly futile.

Role on a resolution to all this.

On a less thoughtful note, I finished (with the exception of a few minor bits and bobs) the DIY project I was working on. I will have this week off from anything related to DIY. Now I have nothing to channel my energies in to perhaps I will have to take up chasing Wifey round the house……

Thursday 6 September 2007

Today I'll mostly be ill

I'm ill again with a cold. That's twice in three months. I never get ill! I even got sent home early from my meeting yesterday for fear of infecting the entire building.

Yet again when I am ill the weather is nice and I'm laid up.

Can somebody pass a tissue......

Tuesday 4 September 2007

Wednesday's Post

I would really like to post everyday with some witty, well informed and erudite posts but sadly most of the time my life is not that note worthy and I lack the comic genius of others. However, I will not be able to post tomorrow as I have to go north of the river for an all day meeting.

Please think of me at around 08:00 as I'm queuing for the Dartford tunnel...

I'll be back on Thursday and the normal drivel will (work allowing) will continue.

And as for the Photo of Wifey I promised, well As I explained, I've been busy decorating. I'll hunt out the photo next week and post it up here.

The Start of Something New

I was have a pretty sparse day in terms of inspiration for a bog post when I read The Boy’s post about is children going back to school.

I never liked school, I didn’t do very well academically and for some of the time I was bullied. I left school with three CSE’s and not very good ones at that. Since that time I have put myself back through college and university and now have a good 2:1 degree in Civil Engineering. They say necessity is the mother of all invention and I needed a better job so I invented some exam results (I wasn’t bright enough to get on my original college course) and some motivation and got myself educated. I am currently in the process of persuading my employer to sponsor me to undertake and MBA.

I’m immensely proud of my achievements, although I am missing a good basic education. I can’t spell or punctuate properly and, whilst my higher maths is fine, my basic maths is appalling.

Today Pickle (the baby) started nursery. At just short of 10 months old Wifey and I thought he needed to interact with more children than the few he knows from Wifey’s informal baby group (The Coven). Nursery also helps Wifey in terms of her business; it’s hard to run a business effectively with a bouncing baby vying for every bit of attention. So off he goes to nursery. Only 2 days a week (although his granny and granddad have him on Thursdays), but it really is the start of something new; his education.

Wifey and I have been very impressed with what the nursery has to offer and a key point was that they pay close attention to the children’s development which is from nationally recognised educational and developmental standards. There are lots of other things that are impressive too, but we liked the fact his play is aimed at developing him.

His education will last him a lifetime and it’s our responsibility as parents to ensure he attends the best he is able too. Whilst not wanting to be ‘competitive dad’ I don’t want him to have to work like I had did after I had left school. I wish him to make the best possible start in life. Take it from someone that has known employment both pre and post degree, I can say is that I’m glad I did my degree.

He’s not the happiest little boy at the moment, his teeth are shooting through rapidly and he has a bit of a sniffle, so to say he is crotchety is an understatement! I hope is careers had a better day than I had a night, but above all I hope Pickle enjoys his day. I shall find out at 5:45 when I pick him up.

Monday 3 September 2007

All Change Please, All Change (my weekend not abbreviated very much)

Changes were afoot this weekend (#cccccchanges#). The dining room is now very white, with the exception of the wood work which is still a beautiful shade of lemony yellow. On Friday when I arrived home from work I stripped off to my shorts, donned a dust mask and some goggles and set about sanding the walls down. I hate sanding and for an hour I sanded and sanded and then sanded some more.

Having restored a few houses now I have some pretty impressive power tools and my Pro Bosch ½ sheet sander powered through the job (that sound likes and extract from Tool Time…). I immerged from the room covered from head to foot in a thick layer of dust. You would have had to see me to believe it. Wifey ran away when I went for a hug and the cats disappeared through the cat flap at top speed. I headed for a much needed shower and then settled down for the night with Wifey, the cats and a bottle of Chenin Blanc.

Saturday saw me head off bright an early for a driving lesson. I can drive, allegedly. I will explain all now.

I am member of the IAM (Institute of Advanced Motorists) and I have been asked to train as an Observer (An instructor really). So there I was, for 2 ½ hours on Saturday morning, observing and being observed. (Who was observing the observing observer?). I thoroughly enjoyed it and whilst it has been a year since I past my test and bad habits have begun to creep back in, I was amazed on how, once you have the technique, it becomes second nature to me.

I would love to blog about the Associate (the learner) and the drives that we do, however, I must respect their privacy and not comment on how they performed. (even though this is an anonymous blog my conscience won’t allow me to break this confidence). I think I did well and the comments I gave the learner were spot on and were made in a positive tone.

I returned home to be greeted Wifey covered in paint having put the first coat of base coat on the dining room walls. I quickly donned my DIY gear and PVA’d the ceiling. Just another reason why I hate Artex….. In the afternoon we needed to get some DIY supplies, so a trip to the B&Q in Crawley was called for. We stopped in Horsham and grabbed a bite to eat at a good coffee shop we frequent and, as we were heading back t o the car, an advert grabbed my attention. It said;
AFC30K – A free Nokia N95 on your tariff awaits you inside”
Ps – we have some in stock…

Well what was I to do? Despite the sales assistant trying to talk me out of it I was finally presented with my new Nokia N95. I had to convince the salesman that I really wanted it; that was the phone I have had my eye on ever since my phone savvy brother visited in the spring. This may sound perverse, but I respected is attitude. He informed me of all the pitfalls of my desire and showed me some excellent models which in many ways are better than the N95. The big problem remains that I just don’t know how to use any other phone than a Nokia. I have tried and my old Sony Ericson nearly made the grade, but then I accidentally dropped it in a pot of paint and back to a Nokia it was!

I have just finished setting the new phone up this morning when I synchronised it with my PC and all my contacts and diary etc are all nicely loaded safely in the new phone. Anyway I’m happy with it so far (2 days….)

On Saturday evening we spent some time at Wifey’s parents as the love to see Pickle. We also got some free grub and then went home for a ceiling painting session and some more wine.

Sunday was more painting and some other chores around the house which caused me to loose my temper in a big way. My temper usually subsides hours later and usually after I’ve broken the thing that annoyed me in the first place. This time a session painting, a shower and some sweet lovin’ sorted me out in a fine style and set my up for a pleasant afternoon in Guilford. (Thanks to Wifey for understanding….)

Lunch was at Wagamama’s; the baby seems to like their Yaki Soba. I have a great photo (taken on the new phone of him trying to suck in a mouthful of noodles. (I guess it’s the sort of picture you could only love if you’re a parent!) A swift wander around the town followed were we spent a couple of hours looking for something that we didn’t find. We finally called it a day (narrowly avoiding the new Krispy Kreme doughnut shop) and called in to see Wifey’s sister on the way (ish) home.

At home more changes in the dining room and some quality time with my Honey Pie (Wifey). Yep Sunday was a pretty good day. Now let’s see if we can survive the week at work.

Friday 31 August 2007

Home is Where the Heart is

As I have blogged before I have ‘issues’ with my current job. The work is mostly easy and I get out of the office when I want to and get to see some beautiful parts of my patch as part of my job. I haven’t even mentioned just how good the pension is. However, I’m not challenged (or not in a good way). I’m bored and I feel like I’m fading in to obscurity.

I went for an interview three weeks ago but I didn’t get the job, however, they are considering me for another, lower paid, position in the organisation. It’s in a sector that I enjoy working in as they end product gives me satisfaction. I’m helping others and helping others is good for my soul.

I always keep my CV on Monster as you never know when a good opportunity will arise. Today I had a phone call. A phone call from the people behind the Olympic Delivery Authority. I hadn’t thought about going back to Civil Engineering, but this would be different. This would be as a client and I like client side work. Also, this is the Big One. It’s the most high profile construction job in this country for a generation.

The last Big One was the Channel Tunnel. There have been some amazing jobs built since then (Jubilee Line Extension, CTRL, Heathrow T5 to name a few) but non have captured the imagination of the country quite like the Tunnel. The Olympics will be this generations show stopper (unless they cock it up on a grand scale…) and I could have the chance to be a part of it, influence the design of the projects, control costs and keep the construction workers safe.

Not to mention the big fat pay rise.

I like the sound of it, I do, but it would mean working in Canary Wharf. I’d be in with the big wigs and the hot shots but 1 ¾ hours door to door from home and the job will be high pressure. If I succeed then future high profile jobs will follow with suitably large pay packets but, as always in this business ,you have to go where the work is and the big, big jobs could mean overseas. 10 years ago I’d have jumped at the chance but I’ve worked with too many guys who have lost their family to the job. Guys with snapshots on their desks of children on once monthly weekend visits to their father. Would that really happen to me……

A weekend to mull over the prospect.

Thursday 30 August 2007

Photo Test (The Cat)

Computers, Pretty Women and Dinosaurs

Well it was a glorious Bank Holiday weekend we have just had. (only a 2 day weekend this week; booooo). As I have said I took the preceding Friday off, which was free as I worked for 4 hours on a Saturday some months ago. Friday was spent catching up on chores which involved moving Wifey’s office from the dining room to one of the spare bedrooms. There comes a time when a room must be decorated and I couldn’t put it off any longer. We also wanted a dining room back as we have a big table and it makes the living room feel a little cluttered.

After much sweet, some blood, no tears but a strained back the office was substantially moved. And then guess what happened. Yes, that’s right, the bloody computer system went up the spout again. It is a long and sorry tale and things are still not resolved as I speak. Apparently it revolves around the DHDP settings and some port forwarding issues. According to BT and the B-i-L it should be resolved today. I hate touching Wifey’s computers as they always seem to break when I touch then, and it’s invariably my fault!

Saturday saw some work on the house; ripping wall paper off the walls, so it was the fun stuff. And then a leisurely wander around town. Wifey had to do some work; she was interviewing a couple of candidates for one of her clients whilst I had tea and pain au chocolate in a great little coffee shop in one of the best cook shops in the whole of the land. It’s so good that even when a high class chain of kitchen shops took it over and gave it a dramatic make over they still kept the name and the original theme of the shop. It was also good as Pickle (the baby) was ogled over by numerous women. Naturally I, as a virile, hot blooded male, sired such a handsome boy!

Wifey was dressing work clothes when we meet up again after the interview, but managed to break the heal off one of her shoes so, barefooted, we set off to by new shoes. This lead to a small shopping spree. So an hour later she was transformed from business suited woman to summer dress and sandal wearing girl. I will have to point out that later in the day Wifey managed to break a strap on her new dress but I will always remember that dress fondly 

Sunday, they was more DIY in the morning followed by an afternoon of Polo at the Sussex Polo Club. It was all very refined drinking cocktails and wine and eating a superb pick nick lunch provided by the sponsors whilst watching the sport of kings. Wifey, as the other ladies present, had a change to recreate their own Pretty Woman moment* by treading in the divots at the end of the game. Mind the steaming divots!

Sunday was hot, really hot and we both got sunburned. We noticed too late that we were both going a little on the pink side, but I’m used to it by now.

Monday and it was the father in law’s birthday, so as a treat we bought him a membership to the Natural History Museum. He loved the present and so, on the 09:04 to Victoria we all headed to the capital. It has been many years since I went to the Natural History museum but I was awed by it this time as I was the last, although the dinosaur in the main hall doesn’t seem quite as big as he did last time I visited. I supposed it goes to show just how much bigger things seem when you are a child. Take Mars bars for instance! I spent Saturday and Sunday really looking forward to going to the museum and I wasn’t disappointed.

The highlight had to be when Wifey saw the sign for the fossil display and said “oh look, we could goes and see the fossils” to which I replied, we don’t need too, we bought the old fossils with us”. The mother in law did eventually see the funny side…..

*I have the photos to prove it and I am debating if I should post it here as I have a shot that doesn’t show her face….

Tuesday 28 August 2007

Elderly Parents

I’ve not got much time, but today, a day that started out so easily and gently (one of the perks of my job) has taken a rapid descent. My father is 75 and has, over the last two years, been getting poorly. He was diagnosed in June with heart failure. Since he want back after his last visit down south he has not stepped out of the house, except to be collected by and ambulance to take him to and fro from the hospital.

He lives 200 miles away and it’s not easy to get up north on a Friday night to see him for the weekend. We make have to take him in with us, which is obviously not ideal.

A myriad of other problems which make the situation more difficult one of which being that he made some very inappropriate comments to my sister in law (even on her and my brothers wedding day). She is black and my brother and I are white (very white and my sunburn this weekend proves that!) and my father does not believe in mixed marriages. Strangely enough she does not want to see or speak to him and, as a consequence, my brother (who lives locally to him) visits very infrequently.

A difficult time.

Tuesday 21 August 2007

Numb Brain

I was going to write a really intellectual post about Learco Chindamo, the killer of Philip Lawrence, and that I believe the ruling of the deportation appeals tribunal to be correct but I’ve just been in a five hour long meeting with one of my bosses and I can’t be bothered to think anymore.

Feel free to disagree on my point of view as I haven’t put up a rational and reasoned argument, my only defence is that I believe we should be looking at the length of his sentence and not the fact he goes back to a country he has not know since he was only five years old.

Monday 20 August 2007

My Colin Firth Moment.

I still haven’t finished off recounting my holiday on a day-by-day basis as yet, but I’m not in the right frame of mind at the moment.

I’m pre-occupied with the trial and tribulations of my everyday life at the moment. I finally finished the spare room, although there are a couple of snags that I’ve got to remedy. It was all a little deflating in the end as the room isn’t as big as I thought it was. I’m sure I’d measured everything accurately (what with being an engineer and everything) but alas no. The room is too small to fit the side table by the bed I had envisaged so the double bed takes up a large proportion of the room.

Wifey and I went in to Crawley on Saturday afternoon to go to B&Q and to pick up some curtains. The day was not good, I don’t like Crawley at the best of times, but they do have an excellent shop that sells decent curtains at bargain prices and the B&Q has a better choice than my local Homebase. We decided to park at B&Q and walk in to the town centre but it drizzled on the way in and Wifey got her hair wet (which is a major concern to most of the ladies out there) and looked a little on the drowned rat side. She was not a happy girl.

A little of a weekend ritual is our weekend coffee shop stop and Saturday was no exception. The Costa in Crawley has the best Barrista I have ever seen working there. The man is lightening quick and always makes a great Mocha! I like to watch people who are both good at their job and take a pride in their work. This man certainly does. As does the lady who helped us choose our curtains; she was so good I am tempted to write to her head office and tell them how good she was.

When it was time to go home I, like a true gentleman, offered to go and get the car and pick Wifey up from the town centre. I got soaked to the skin and turned up to collect Wifey with my shirt stuck to my skin (although I don’t think I had the same effect as Colin Firth when he started wandering around in a wet shirt).*

Sunday came and the baby, henceforth known as Pickle, was being an absolute pain in the arse! More decoration to the spare room was undertaken followed by our weekly trip to Brighton to let some paint dry. I love Brighton and would happily move there but Wifey wouldn’t. It’s only 20 minutes away I love the atmosphere there and a stroll on the sea front always cheers me up. I love it in the winter and the sea is fierce, Wifey, like to be inside in the warm, next to an open fire.

Back home and Pickle and I fought over his dinner. I could have cheerfully sold him in to slavery yesterday…….. It was then non stop until 8pm when Pickle was in bed and food and wine were on the table. Oh, and I watched Hot Fuzz on DVD. I loved it and it even made Wifey chuckle. So we can both recommend it.

Now Monday is here and it’s back to work. I am meeting with one of my two bosses tomorrow. Not the big one though as he is on holiday, but all the same I have to run around ensuring everything is ‘ship shape’.

I doubt I’ll be able to post tomorrow, but may be more on Wednesday.

*I wish I'd written the post after I'd thought of the title - I might have made more of my Colin Firth moment....

Friday 17 August 2007

Do you want the good news or the bad news?

Well, I’ve just had the dreaded phone call. I was right. I don’t have the relevant experience and I really bombed on my numerical reasoning test. Although, on a positive note, my verbal reasoning test was described as ‘excellent’.

I knew this was going to be the case. Please don’t call me pessimistic, I am a realist. I read the situation well and knew they were looking for someone that was doing the same job already.

However……

Apparently I made a really good impression and they would like to consider me for another role within the organisation. The role actually pays less than my current salary, but it would mean future career prospects. We talked about salary and the Director in charge is going to have a think about it and get back to me in a couple of weeks.

Yet again I have my fingers crossed.

Thursday 16 August 2007

This period of my life, abreviated

I still haven’t finished telling you all about the holiday yet, but time is short at the moment.

By day I have to work and by night I have a house to renovate, a baby to look after and then hopefully some me time veged out on the sofa with Wifey and a cat or two. Tonight I’ll be under coating the wood work in one of the bedrooms, so that’ll be 8 pm by the time I’ve finished and washed my brush, they I’ll have to clean my self up, tidy the house and sit down for something to eat about 9, just in time to watch House.

Nothing much interesting is happening at work at the moment, nothing to really get my teeth into, just mundane stuff that I don’t enjoy and as a consequence, not very good at. I keep flitting back to the fact that I should hear on Friday if I’ve made it through to the next round of the interview process of the potential new job.

I’d love to say things will be different soon, but no. After the bedroom I’m going to have to move Wifey’s office from the dinning room to one of the spare bedrooms and then start decorating the dinning room (which is currently wall papered in pink flock). Working in construction things will take time to change at work also (unless I get the new job)

I may post more later but I’m just off to read a Housing Strategy Document… What fun.

Wednesday 15 August 2007

The Assessment Centre

Yesterday I went to an Assessment Centre for a new job.

I think that, although the day was difficult, I have two advantages over the other candidates
1) I turned up on time
2) I turned up at all

Yes, That’s right of the six people supposed to be attending, one was on holiday, two dropped out the day before and of the three of us left one arrived an hour and three quarters late and the other four and three quarter hours late.

The company who were doing the interviewing were not amused. I stopped over night in a hotel nearby and arrived promptly at 8:45am. I am so good sometimes.

I will find out on Friday if I have been invited to the next stage of the assessment process. I have many positive things going for me but there are a couple of negatives. Firstly I don’t work in the industry in which they operate. I work on the periphery of this industry and the type of company I have gone for a job with are normally my customers. In short I understand what they do it’s just that I don’t have all the technical skills to actually do it. However, at this level of the job I would have a team of people who can do the technical stuff for me.

Secondly, I really bombed out on my numerical reasoning test. I had a small mental breakdown. My brain just gave up and went home. It wanted to take me with it, right out of the door across the car park into my car and them home. I had to will my self to stay seated and try and concentrate. I then sat a verbal reasoning test and I think I did OK on that one.

So we’ll just have to wait and see what Friday brings. I have to say though that I have my doubts that they will want to take me forward. I don’t think that I’m quite at the level they want at the moment.

I still have my fingers crossed in hope.

Monday 13 August 2007

Monday, Monday.

I am sat here all alone in the office as my colleague has a day off today and I’m nervous about tomorrow.

I have loads off things to do, but I just can’t concentrate; there’s a lot riding on tomorrow and it could be another couple of years before I get a chance like this one again without having to move home.

I’ve practiced some more tests and thought about some answers to the competency based questions they may ask me, but I just can’t concentrate. I’m just hoping my concentration has returned by tomorrow morning.

Wifey has an assignment on tomorrow which involves a full day of public speaking, She’s nervous too.

We’re like a family of worry warts.

I’ll try and update on Wednesday, but my poor brain may not be up to it; Wish me luck!

Friday 10 August 2007

More on the Holiday.

So back to the holiday. I may have finished regaling you with tales of the last holiday before I go on the next…. Just.

Anyway, you’ve heard about the Saturday and the Sunday; now I shall tell you about Monday. On the Monday we went to Padstow, also know as Padstein as most of it now seems to be owned by Mr Rick Stein. When I was a child we holidayed in Padstow a number of times. We camped and then caravanned at a campsite at the top of the hill overlooking the town. All very basic stuff, just a filed and a hole in the ground dug every few days to empty the chemical toilet in to. Those were the days!

Wifey and I got their early (by our standards anyway) about 10am. This turned out to be a master stroke as we parked in the car park closest to the town. When we left about 1pm, there was not a car parking space to be found in the entire town.

Padstow is a beautiful fishing town that surrounds a working fishing harbour and it used to be an undiscovered gem. When Wifey and I visited it appeared to have been discovered by the masses. They were bussing them in by the coach load to eat pasties overlooking to harbour. To be fair, I can see why. The locals (and not so locals) have capitalised on this fact and are catering (literally) for the tourists. An interesting biography of Mr Stein can be found by following the link Welcome to Rick Stein Seafood. It really is worth a look. Someone has spent far more time, effort and money researching Padstow than I.

As it is an overriding requirement to feed the baby, almost constantly it seems, we headed to a café so we could get the bottle warmed. We managed to do so (credit to the establishment) and had a cup of tea and a slice of cake each. The food was good, but the service exceedingly slow and muddled. After the bottle stop we headed out for a walk around the harbour. We found a gallery and admired the art work (Wifey and I collect modern art) but the painting we liked was £800 for an original oil, which is beyond our budget at the moment. We settled for a printed montage of the artists canvases for £12 instead. According to Wifey it’s destined for the downstairs loo!

At the outer breakwater we saw a couple of speed boats plying their trade for the tourists. I noted that the boat ‘Jaws’ had been the boat my brother, father and I had been the same one we enjoyed 20 odd years ago. Some things just don’t seem to change. We stopped a while and took in the scenery; we also took a great number of photos while we were playing around with our shiny new SLR. When we downloaded them later there were some great shots and on particularly of note were Wifey had managed to capture two sailing boats moored up with their perfect reflection in the water.

We decided to more on and head for Newquay for lunch. The drive over was interesting and we passed Jamie Oliver’s 15 restaurant, but didn’t stop. We got to Newquay and were so disappointed we didn’t even stop. Sorry folks but I thought it was a dump. We stopped in a car park and fed the baby, which was messy, and moved on to another National Trust place that appear to be just around the corner. It was and two cream teas were promptly demolished. Trerice is a wonderful old house. Go and look at it here;

That was pretty much Monday of the holiday. Anyway soon I shall do Tuesday and on Tuesday we went to the Eden Project. But know I have just had an email telling me about my assessment centre. It’s being held in a hotel on a costal spit that is renowned as being the most expensive real estate in the world. I am also entitled to claim expenses and an overnight stay if I so wish. Having read the itinerary for the day I’ll need the weekend to prepare and the rest of the week off to get over the shock!

Also my best man and the God Mother of the baby are coming over for an impromptu bbq tonight. I hope you all have a great weekend and I’ll be back sometime later next week!

Thursday 9 August 2007

Motivation

I'm really not motivated at the moment. I've been busy doing nothing. Work is one step forward and two steps back. I've blogged about the frustration I have at work before but it's getting worse and my motivation has disappeared.

Home is OK but tiring. Wifey is working long hours because the baby is being demanding (as 9 month olds tend to be). We are both quite tired and snappy.

On the upside I've been asked to apply for a new job, which I have duly done and been asked to go an assessment centre next Tuesday.

It's a bigger role than I'm doing already, but the pay reflects that. The $64,000 question is will they take me and train me or do they want someone who is doing the same job already? I suppose they wouldn't have asked me to apply if they weren't interested.

In true style I was ill in bed all weekend and Monday. I'm still tired now. Away way, back to work........

Monday 30 July 2007

The Holiday

Thank you to Martin for prompting me to stop doing some actual work and write some more about my holiday.

You must remember that the weather wasn’t so good the week we were away, but we did try and make the best of it.

Anyway, you’ve heard about what we did on the Saturday after we arrived in Cornwall, so now on to Sunday. We went to Lanhydrock (http://www.nationaltrust.org.uk/main/w-vh/w-visits/w-findaplace/w-lanhydrock/). Lanhydrock, for me, is in many ways the epitome of what the National Trust is about. I marvelled at the magnificent architecture and the exquisitely manicured lawns. We took some stunning landscape shots of the property, but none as good as the ones on the National Trust website.

Most of our days out were, and still are, structured around feeding times, so it wasn’t long before we needed to feed the baby. Wifey and I both had a Cornish pasty in the restaurant, which was delicious. Baby had his baby food, but, as usual, we couldn’t get the food microwaved as the NT Health and Safety policy forbids catering staff from heating baby food. This incenses me and I may blog a separate post about that subject another time.

After lunch we toured around the house which, as usual, was superb. The kitchens were a sight to behold. Photography was not allowed inside the house, not that I have a flikr account anyway.

After Lanhydrock we drove onwards to Mevagissy. We passed the first car park thinking we’d find something a little closer to the town, but after a very tight squeeze though the town we ended up back at the first car park we came to. Our visit had started badly as driving through Mevagissy is a traumatic experience and our oversized estate car was a leviathan to manoeuvre through the implausibly narrow streets. When we arrived back at the car park, the attendant was overtly rude. I parked very close to the attendant and he was rude to every single motorist that entered the car park. It surprised me a little as we, the motorists, were collectively paying his wages. I don’t think he liked tourists very much…..

We disembarked from the car and loaded everything up; buggy, baby, changing bag, camera, Wifey’s handbag, coat for the baby, coats for us, blanket for the baby, and set of for the town. We negotiated the narrow streets, which, even without the car, was still almost as problematic. Tourists, buggies, cars and locals all in a narrow street does not make for harmony.

We arrived at the harbour only to find a fish stall serving what we thought was fresh cockles and muscles. Wifey was just about to get some cockles when the person serving restocked the display with frozen ones from Tesco! We didn’t have any cockles that day…

A rainy trip around the harbour ended with a cream tea in a dockside coffee house, which, was surprisingly good. We had expected a poor quality tourist rip off, but we needed somewhere to feed the baby. What we found was a good quality, reasonably priced coffee house who were only to happy to accommodate us, the baby and the buggy. And they warmed his bottle with no fuss what so ever.

A brisk drive home in time for another feeding time and that, my dear readers is what happened on my 36th birthday.

Thursday 26 July 2007

Not such an easy day

Due to my predition that Wednesday would be an easy day I finally arrived home at about 7pm.

The boss was in a good mood, but he did have some probing questions that I wasn't able to answer to his satisfaction. Hoh Hum! That's why he's the boss and not me I suppose.....

I really must write more about the holiday; and I will do. I'll have a think this afternoon, in between reading a rather large Green Paper from the DCLG.

Wifey and I invested in a good quality digital SLR a few months ago and we are trying to develop our skills in photography. I must investigate Flikr to see how to put some piccies up there for others to enjoy.

Tuesday 24 July 2007

Wednesday

Two posts in one day! You lucky people.

I won't be around tomorrow as I've been summond to HQ at the last minute. Hopefully nothing I've done wrong! However it does mean a much shorter day. Gerenally I'll catch the train by about 9am and wander in to town, have a coffee and meet the big boss around 11. We'll normally have a spot of lunch and by 3 I'll be on the train home.

I like the occasional trip into Westmisnter where HQ is, but it always depends on my bosses mood. Lets hope he's in a good mood tomrrow!

The holiday, abreviated

Life is very humdrum at the moment. I wake, have breakfast, change and feed the baby, wash and dress, hand the bay to Wifey and drive to work. Work is predictably boring. I drive home again, do chores, put the baby to bed, have tea and watch TV.

However, on holiday we had time to ourselves. This is the second holiday we have been on with the baby. He was 3 months old when we took him to Spain. He was easier to handle then, but he was a bouncing seven months old during the holiday in Cornwall. If he’s not happy he’ll let you know.

Seven months seems to be a nice age. He’s interactive and I get to spend about 2 hours of quality time with him everyday. He’s into everything at the moment. He also learnt this morning that if you upset our very old tom cat he’ll nip your fingers and hiss at you!

We stopped in a cottage neat Launceston which is to the Eastern end of Cornwall. Launceston is not what you would call a picturesque town. It is a functional market town. Don’t get me wrong. I’d rather a functional market town than a manufactured and cloned high street any day of the week. In hindsight we both felt that we would have liked to have been further west and in one of the pretty fishing villages on the coast, but money is not so free at the moment and the budget ruled.

The cottage itself was small and damp and was only one bedroom so it meant the baby had to share a room with us. Something we are not keen on. On the upside the couple who owned the cottage were friendly as was their dog. The cottage was secluded, private and quite and it did have a certain cow-shed-esque charm.

Saturday was spent procuring provisions for the week in Launceston. Wifey managed to find a lingerie shop that stoked some of her favourite brands and we spent nearly two hours in there while she tried on most of the shop and the baby crawled around the floor trying to pull bra’s off their hangers. The phase “leave those bra’s alone boy” can leave people looking at you a little strangely.

A visit to Boscastle followed and Wifey fell immediately for it’s charms. It is very picturesque but a great trip if, like me, you are a Civil Engineer. The place is awash with excavators and Portacabins whilst the flood defence work continues, and will continue for another year at least. A Cornish cram tea rounded the day off and then back to the cottage to feed the baby and put him to bed.


That’s enough for today. If I get time I’ll tell you about Sunday tomorrow.

Monday 23 July 2007

New Cars

Last December Wifey and I bought a new car. We need the space as we both had small city type cars and they just didn’t fit all the paraphernalia required for a baby. An estate car was duely ordered.

I set about to give the new car a thorough clean on Sunday. It’s amazing what was once pristine is now peppered with a myriad of dent’s, dings and sratches.

I can see that Wifey I’ll be wanting a new one soon….

Wednesday 18 July 2007

Wednesday

I went to Wifey's grandparent's 65th wedding anniversary last night. It was a surprise party and they were very taken aback and suitably surprised. It really is amazing to see two people who, despite their differences obviously love each other.

The grandmother had a brush with death not 3 months ago and is currently recovering from open heart surgery followed by pneumonia. Such things put your own life in to perspective. They still enjoy life in their 80's and find so much joy in their children, grandchildren and now a growing brood of great grandchildren.

The pair of them can be a royal pain in the bum at times but the family wouldn't be without them and everyone laments the time they will surely pass away.

I wonder if Wifey and I will may it to 65 years of wedded bliss?

Is any marriage wedded bliss or a suitable tolerance level sustained because the pair of you know you are better together than apart?

Also seeing this couple in their 80's also, perversly, reminded me of how fragile life can be. The grandfather survived a significant amount of actice service in African during WWII. He has only ever talked about his expeiances once in all that time. ONe of his great grand children was learning about WWII at school. He went in and, in a very dignified maner, told the children of his experiences and why war is such a bad thing. All the children were very moved and I hope it is a tale that they will always be able to recall whenever they need too. Apparently he was never the same after the war. In many respects her was a broken man with areas of his persona that remain broken to this day. I sincerely believe he has found peace after many decades.

I also saw two very serious road accidents on an extended journey home. One where a car had just collided with a tractor on a dual carriageway. The driver didn't look in a good way. As a first adier I usuallt stop, but this was on the other side of a very fast road and now where to pull over. To stop would have endagered other lives and there was also people who looked like they knew what they were doing at the scene.

The other was accident was just being cleared up as I went past. A wreked car being lifted out of a river on the side of another dual carriageway. The car didn't look good and Wifey had told me the road had been closed for some time earlier in the day. I don't know how either casualty faired but it didn't look too good from the seat of my car.

Fragile lives.......

Thursday 12 July 2007

Fastest internet cafe in the world

Just a quick post to say the holiday down here in cornwall has been fun.

I'm posting from the BT satelite Earth Centre at Goonhilly. Apparently the have 100Mbs broadband here.

Just looking at the Boy's last post and I might bump in to him as it appears he is in Cornwall too. I have no idea who he is or what he looks like, so it may be that chap over there writing his post also....

I'm back at work Monday but It'll be hectic and I'll have to catch up with last weeks posts from my must read bloggers.

Thursday 5 July 2007

Files & Holidays

I found the file, some one had nabbed it and taken it home to work on.

This week has been frantic, but lunch looking out to sea yesterday was a perk of the job.

No time today as I have so much work to get through before I leave tonight for a week's holiday. When I get back I'll have to cath up on loads of works so I may be gone for a while. Please don't desert me, as Arnie once siad "I'll be back"

Monday 2 July 2007

Reports and files

I’m supposed to be writing reports today. I’ve done one. I need to go and visit the site again for another, and I just can’t find the appropriate files for a third. I really don’t know where the files have gone….

If anyone sees them can you send them back to me? It would help me write my report, keep my boss happy and if he’s happy, I’ve still got a job.

I’m really annoyed, but I’m sure the hour’s drive home around the M25 should calm me some what!

One night last week

Since my Old Dad has been stopping with us Wifey and I’s social life has taken a dramatic upturn. He informed Wifey yesterday that we have one more ‘pass–out’* before he goes back home on Saturday evening. We were just busy planning another naughty night out at our local when Wifey’s middle sister phones after having some bother at work.

Wifey is very highly qualified and also quite widely experienced in HR for her tender years and so naturally she was the one to help. The tale is a torrid one, and it took a little longer than Wifey had expected to calm her sister and help her draft some letters. The baby goes to bed just before eight so we’d hoped to get away from home just after, but we finally arrived at the pub just after nine.

“It gives us 2 hours to get phished in” I said. “Huh, 2 hours is not a long time to get phised in honey pie” she replied. “Don’t tell me we could neck two bottles of wine each in the next 2 hours without even trying” I asked. “Good point” she replied, “now shut up and get the orders in”

To be fair we didn’t have anywhere near 2 bottles each to drink and the conversation was flowing more freely than the wine.

Towards closing time, the two girls on a table opposite us started to have some in depth mobile phone conversations with culminated in one of the girl’s irate boyfriends making an appearance at their table. To calm the situation down the girls sent her boyfriend away and, because they were both a little scared, they came to sit with Wifey and I.

They were interesting to talk to and it make me realise that in the 15 years since I was that age (and the age of the irate boyfriend) I have matured so much as man. 15 years ago I would have done stupid things like making a scene in public (even 5 years ago!) but now I am able to sit back and see the bigger picture.

We talked long past closing time and when we were finally thrown out they appeared a little nervous about the possibility that irate boyfriend would be outside waiting for them. We offered to walk them home. As predicted, Irate boyfriend was indeed waiting and did try and cause a scene, but, after a few quite words, that were not threatening I hasten to add, he backed off, but still he followed us and the two girls home.


We saw the girls safely to the door, told them to lock it, go to bed and ignore the irate boyfriend. After this, we walked home ourselves. I hope everything works out for the girls concerned, speaking as outsider, she deserved better.

*The phraseology you’d expect from a military man

Wednesday 27 June 2007

Midweek

Hopefully I’m getting a little back in to the habit of blogging, I do enjoy it and I, like most others I assume, find it rewarding when people comment.

With my old dad still being in residence and still being as frustrating as usual is causing Wifey’s and I’s tempers to be a little frayed. We had another row on Monday night but we are speaking again now. What is helping is that my dad is babysitting, so last night we went to dinner with some new friends. I don’t make friends easily so it is always a rare treat to find new ones.

Thanks to D&E for dinner last night and the interesting conversation, oh and the wine of course.

Monday 25 June 2007

Fathers Day

My old dad lives nearly 200 miles away from where Wifey and I now live. I am originally from the North Midlands and now live within striking distance of the South Coast. This means that when I see my dad it’s invariably for at least a week at a time. I love my old dad but after a few days he drives Wifey and I balmy.

He is, at the moment, stopping for a fortnight. However, last Thursday night we discovered something really quite amazing. We have a live in babysitter. So we went to meet a friend last Thursday (albeit a day late and hence no friend there to meet!). So we went home, parked the car, and without stopping turned on our heals to the local pub. It was great. We had a whale of a time and had a chance to really talk. We got home and promptly hot footed it to the bedroom.

On Friday night, like a couple of dating teenagers, asked the old boy if he’d baby-sit and darted of to the pub again, this time for a bit to eat as well. After another night of non stop talking we left at closing time, walked home and again hot footed it to the bedroom.

The weekend was a bit of a wash out and ended on Sunday with a row over the decoration of our spare bedroom. We drove home in silence and exchanged glowering looks when we got in, so I want to paint and she went to feed the baby and prepare tea. I have found out that you can’t be angry and paint wood work. Wifey apologised, I mumbled an apology back (which is quite good for me). I normally stay in a mood for days but in 10 minutes we were back to being happy together again.

So thanks for baby sitting dad, even though he’ll never read this as the technology of computers is a little beyond him.

Even though Wifey and I have a strong relationship it has taken a battering recently, what with the baby, the new house and its associated financial pressures and pressure at both of our work places. We are planning two trips to the pub this week. I think it’ll do our relationship some good.

Thursday 21 June 2007

It's been a while

It was been a while since I’ve written anything here. I think the last post kind of gave the game away a little. I’ve been quite stressed about all sorts of things, but mainly work. When I took this job there were two fundamental parts to it. One which I am very comfortable with, and one which I knew very little about. I knew the idea but not even the principle.

I am comfortable running construction projects of various types, under various forms of contract and acting as both contractor and now as a client. What I’m not familiar with is planning (who is?). My employers knew this when they hired me as I was up-font about it in my interview. I am in a fairly fortunate position where I can be honest with a potential employer as quite often it’s as much about finding out if I want to work for them as they finding out if they want me to work for them. Are you still with me on this?

Anyhow since working for the organisation I am predominantly working on planning and this is way outside my ‘comfort zone’. I don’t feel I get adequate direction which makes me feel as though I’m floundering around and going now where fast. This is not good for my moral as I’m OK with being outside of my comfort zone but I like to mix it with stuff in my comfort zone to help reassure me that I’m doing a good job. Feeling like I’m doing a good job is important to me and at the moment I don’t feel like I’m doing that well.

Hence I’m feeling stressed and unmotivated.

However this job does have some compensations, I just need to try and look on the bright side (which I don’t find easy when I’m feeling crap about myself). I was offered another job this week and I was sorely tempted. Two upsides. It’s working with a former colleague who I like and respect. The pay is really good. Two down sides. It’s in central London. The company has a 12 hour a day culture.

Wednesday 23 May 2007

Stress.

I don’t know what is in the air but most of the people I know, both friends and people I work with, are stressed at the moment. To protect those innocents I shall not divulge any circumstances involved. I can of course talk about Wifey & I.

My job is middle to senior management level but I do not have any direct staffs as all those I am responsible for are contractors or consultants. There is only the big boss above me. I have the power to change many things but equally do not have the power to change some incredibly minor things. I also do not have the power to change the culture of the organisation. I truly want to help and to do what’s best but find it demoralising and a little stressful when I am overruled.

That said, for the most part I like my job. I just think I could be doing much better.

Wifey is stressed as her new IT system is not quite there yet. It’s much closer following a trip to the centre of operations by B-i-L last night. However, BT have a problem with the broadband, a problem that is going over the heads of their support guys and is now being referred to the techies. Also a vital piece of software is not yet installed and there are still a couple of compatibility issues and some ‘OK this is a new system, what do we do with it?’ issues.

Her being stressed stresses me. I am powerless to help yet I get the grief because I am the one that she can actually moan, snap and shout at. It’s difficult for me to accept but she has to vent her anger and stress on someone and that someone is me.

So I say to me friends and work associates “Here’s looking forward to everyone calming down and becoming a little happier before the end of June.” *raises large glass of wine, pauses and then takes a rather large gulp*

Monday 21 May 2007

Mind the Gap

Mind the gap. The one you step over when you leave work and start your commute home. That gap that you drop all you work stresses, worries and other daily accumulated baggage in to and pick up your home joys, troubles and other accoutrements.

Do any of you have any troubles with avoiding the gap and taking work stuff home and home stuff to work? I am guilty of this and if Wifey had a gap between her office and home then the house would fall down, what with working from home and the like.

Work is bound to impact on your personal life. Without work you wouldn’t be able to pay the mortgage (with the exception of a few). What would you fill your day with? What worth would you put on yourself? Having been out of work for a year once and an emotional wreck there came a point were I took the first job available to me. I worked in a laundry, which as it happened suited my needs down to the ground and I stayed there for two years.

Are you doing well enough in your career? Am I earning enough? Are our friends more successful than us? Do our bosses think we do a good job? Are we valued by our colleagues? Did I make the right decisions last ---------? (fill in the blank as appropriate)

Wifey works for herself and her success, income and value changes on a monthly basis. All of these factors lead to the stress and strain of everyday living. I know I am a nicer person when I’m on holiday and, just like The Boy over at Boy on Top, when I’m leaving a job. That great time when your responsibility diminishes in your old job and you’re in your honeymoon period in your new job. A time when all the stress can wash straight over you. As I said folks; Mind the Gap, Mind the Gap

Wednesday 16 May 2007

Wifey & the Server

Wifey is not a happy girl. For the past two weeks she has had a cold, the baby has been demanding, the server has been/being slightly problematic, she has two bad debts and an insurance company who can’t decide if she’s properly qualified for her to work on their insured’s legal case.

AFC 30K is keeping his head below the parapet.

Someone let me know when it’s safe to come out.

Tuesday 15 May 2007

The IT Man Cometh II

In fact he didn’t leave until nearly 11pm on Sunday. I’m sure he just stopped for Wifey’s cooking. The server is working and so is the desk top. The laptop and the PDA don’t work with the server just yet. Oh, and the back up isn’t quite there but I have a theory on why that’s not working.

I could help Wifey with the IT (just the very basics you understand) however she glowers at me with the unsaid acknowledgement that I screwed up her PC in the first place. To be fair to me I was only trying to defragment the hard drive as it had quite a bit of stuff on it. The problem arose when the hard drive died and the back ups set up by her ‘IT consultant’ (not B-i-L) had stopped working 6 months previously.

After watching B-i-L for most of the weekend I now realise that there is no way on God’s earth that I would have been able to install the server… I’ve only just learnt about static IP addresses.

Anyway, if you’re reading B-i-L, thanks a lot for giving up your entire weekend to help out your little sister!

Saturday 12 May 2007

The IT Man Cometh

IT. You think by me having a blog and everything I’d know a thing about IT. I Don’t*. I know less than Jack Shit. Yet today the house is being networked. I now have a shiny new server. It’s not actually shiny, more of a matt black, but it is new and it is a server. It’s powerful, really powerful.

I now you’re thinking ‘if he knows nothing about IT what’s he doing with a server?’ Well, Wifey needs it for her business so she roped her brother to sort it all out. Now he does now a think or two about IT but it’s nearly 10pm and he’s been at it since 11am. I mean, honestly people, how long does it take to install a server and rebuild two pc’s…

* The design of the blog should tell have told you something….

Friday 11 May 2007

That Was the Week That Was.

Well what a week. Last weekend was our son’s christening. This roughly translates in to a mad frantic house clean and tidy (It took a whole day this time(we’re not that dirty it’s just we’ve only been in the house 6 months)) and get together with lots of friends and family and just for good measure a little dose of stress.

I really loved the baptism. Junior when to sleep straight after he’d been dunked in the font and didn’t grumble one little bit. The house looks a lot better too. There’s nothing like ‘a bit of a do’ to spur Wifey and I on to actually doing stuff to the house.

The fattened calf was procured for the bbq after the baptism which meant we had to have another bbq on Monday to made some headway in to the mountain of food Wifey and the Mother-in-law had laid on.

Tuesday and Wednesday were spent on site. This is a rare treat for me these days as I don’t often see anything beyond my computer screen. I locked horns with a couple people on site and enjoyed it (it was purely business and absolutely nothing personal, in fact I have a great respect for both guys). It got the blood flowing, cleared some cobwebs and it was back amongst the ‘muck & bullets’. It reminded me that I do actually build stuff for a living. I fact it showed me just how much influence I have on a project these days. It also showed me whose fault it is if you miss details. There were some details missed but I count theme as learning experiences and I’ll pay closer attention to these areas in the future.

I took Thursday off to help Wifey with her business in the morning and went with her to her mothers meeting. I call them the Coven as they are always plotting something, I’m sure mainly against the men in their lives! Fortunately one of the other fathers works odd shifts so at least there was other male company.

As for today, as soon as I got to the office I was summoned in to head office in central London. So by the time I got there, there was time for a quick meeting, some lunch and a continuation of the meeting and then back home. Made some calls, reworked a spreadsheet and wrote this post.

I blinked and the week was over!

Have a good weekend and I’ll be back on Monday.

Thursday 3 May 2007

A challenge.

I get bored very easily and I need to be challenged in my professional life. Whilst I am a middle manager I’m not yet at the top of my profession. I’m not often heard saying this, but, I’m not perfect. This means I need a structure in which to work and I need to be managed effectively to bring out the best in me. Whilst financial recompense is important in a job it isn’t the be all and end all I need someone, once in a while, to pat me on the back and say “good job”.

In my current position I don’t feel challenged I have no rules. I can, more or less, do what I want, when I want, as long as I deliver the goods. No one ever tells me I’ve done a good job, but they are quick to jump in and tell me when I’ve done something wrong. This leads me to be quite despondent at times; the crux is that I do actually like my job

Today I’ve been bored and it’s not been an inspiring day. It has made me want to move jobs again. I tend to move jobs every 2 or 3 years but I’ve only been here 7 months and moving now would look feckless on my part. But there is still something in my head querying where my career is going “stop languishing in this place and find something fresh”. But, job hunting for me is tortuous is there are two contradicting elements within me, one that tells me I’m great at my job and I could do this job standing on my head. There other element sits on my shoulder and tells me that I’m useless and I just blag my way out of difficult situations and why would anyone want to employ me.

But remember I really like my job and the people I work with.

Still, tomorrow’s Friday and it’s a bank holiday weekend. I shall share a drink with friends, toast absent friends and spend time with my family. Summer is starting, our first summer as more than a couple.

Tuesday 1 May 2007

Frustration

There are many things in ones life that can lead a chap to be frustrated. For instance; your team loosing at home, friends who are more successful than us, rejection when chatting up a girl, however;

There is nothing quite like spending quality time with your partner, spending a nice evening together, a cuddle and a smooch on the sofa, some nice pillow talk and then the imminent promise of sweet intimacy* only to have your ardour dashed by your partner coming out in an allergic rash and then proceed to itch not stop for the next hour whilst saying “you don’t mind if I’m not in the mood now, do you?”…. No, no of course not**, I hope you feel better soon, night love.

*If I said sex in stead of intimacy do you think I'll get loads of traffic like those sex bloggers. If I do then I may have to start a sex blog, write a book, and pay off the mortgage.

**Yes I bloody well do mind and you’ll have to forgive me if I’m now a bit grumpy….

Monday 30 April 2007

The Weekend.

Well, what a weekend. There were some good bits, some bad bits and some indifferent bits.

For a start it was great weather down here in Sussex, and for that reason (and not the fact the baby woke us up at 5:45 am) that we got up early on Saturday and got some chores out of the way. I managed to wash 2 out of 3 cars* which I like to do. I do like a shiny car and as Wifey’s car is only 5 months old it’s an easy job to keep it clean. A quick shower and off to town to the bank and some lunch. We have some good coffee shops & cafes in our town and we were enjoying a ham and cheese panini and a mocha when the baby decides he’ll have a number 2. This in it’s self wouldn’t have been a problem but the fact he let everyone in our vicinity know what he was up to was. We hastily ate and drank up and left very red faced (as was the baby with all the straining :-( ).


We headed to the shops where Wifey picked up a couple of new outfits on the pretence of the baby’s baptism next weekend. I had offered to pay, but ended up paying more than I wanted as she liked her ‘respectable’ Christening outfit, and I liked the short skirt and see through halter neck top. We left the shop with both and a dent in my bank balance.

In the afternoon we popped down to Brighton, (which is a thing to be generally avoided on a hot day at the weekend) as Wifey’s granny is in hospital there. We met her parents for a coffee, only for an argument to ensure which resulted in her dad storming off. Not a highlight of the weekend and the air has not been cleared yet. Wifey adores her parents and this cast a shadow over the rest of the day.

The evening was left for some quality ‘us’ time.

Sunday bought with it a lazy, but pleasurable start to the day, followed by a little decorating and a trip to the local garden centre. There ensued some hard work by us both, interrupted by a crotchety son and some friends who are leaving the country for 2 years to work in the Caribbean. It was really good to see them both and one has to be a little envious. In the evening we were visited again by some friends who we’ve not seen for far too long as they rarely get out of London, but a trip to Brighton brought them our way and all 4 or us struggled to get a word in edge ways.

Now back to work.

*I only want 2 cars but I just can’t sell one of our old ones despite it being only just over 2 years old and in great condition – does this sound like an advert?